Tuesday, April 3, 2012

No one is left.
I guess that makes this the perfect sanctuary, right? Life has been hell, college this semester has kept me swamped, and my days have been filled with chores to the point I have no free time... My phone is fried and the replacement isn't in the best condition either, I cant even really use it, so I'd rather not use it at all... I'm growing cold to the world, its as if my life has slowed to the point that I can feel my death creeping up on me, and its surfacing hundreds of false regrets, that I haven't even experienced yet. But are inspiring me to live a life that isnt meant for me. These thoughts and feelings consume me, and I'm rarely this conscious of their true nature, but they still consume me.

I don't know. For awhile, I genuinely thought I could be like everyone else for once. I thought I could be happy and positive, and that that would be my answer for everything. Life will continue and days will pass and I will be taken where I'm meant to go... Just like everyone else... Thats not true to me at all..

I don't want to keep acting and lying the rest of my life.

I think I was close, but never really close at all. I don't think I'll ever find that bliss again, if my emotions continue to haunt me in this way... .
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