Sunday, July 9, 2006

Happiness is not what happens to you

...it's how you deal with shit that happens to you.

It doesn't matter if you're good or bad, bad things WILL happen to you. Life's not fair in the sense that people want it to be. The important thing is to be able to get back up after being knocked down.

Sorta like poker (or mahjong for you Asian folks). No matter who you are you can always get bad hands. The difference is that the better player will consistently stay on top of the game by capitalizing on the good hands. They don't sit around and say "man, why do I get crappy hands all the time?" They know that there's always dry spells and that good hands can reappear anytime.

I think. I'm a crappy person to ask for poker advice.

The difference about being a good person and a bad person is that good people tend to have more resources to deal with problems. People tend to like them more. They have a better support network; family and friends are willing to help. "Bad people" usually don't have this kind of edge.

When life knocks the wind out of you, rest to catch your breath, then get back up on your feet. Never, ever stay down.

At this point, it's no longer luck but a matter of skills.

KI

EDIT: As of 20h58 tonight, I've declared this post a complete waste of time and a bunch of bullocks.
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Sunday, July 2, 2006

I'm a bad mother






It's the third time that my tamagotchi died out of neglect and it's only been a week. This better not mean anything.

-------------
[in the future]
Hubby: "Honey, I'm home! How was shopping with the kids this morning?"
KI: *blink* "What kids?"
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Saturday, July 1, 2006

Certain guidelines for an all-you-can-eat-sushi night

- Bring friends who can EAT.
Pansies who are too afraid to go beyond their limits cannot eat leftover sushi (some places charge you extra for every piece ordered that you can't finish)

- Don't eat during the day. Duh.
[edit]: So many people think that not eating before is the way to go. It's soooo wrong. The stomach's a muscle man, you gotta exercise it. give it a little something to work on! Some crackers or chips! Then you'll see some REAL eating at a buffet.

- Don't drink your water while eating.
That water's going to fill up your belly fast. Ever noticed how fast the waiters are when it comes to filling up your glass of water? I think it's a plan to get you full quicker! Those scheming bastards.

- Sit as close to the bathroom as possible and have extra pockets.
In the case where your table ordered more sushi that it can handle, subtly put all sushi in your pockets and flush them in the bathroom. DO NOT LOOK SUSPICIOUS. Also check if the toilet is working before dumping all unwanted sushi into it.

- Order kamikaze rolls ('cause they're so damn good).

KI
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Thursday, June 29, 2006

"Like your face!"

A while back some of my friends came up with this comeback that can be applied in any situation. Let me demonstrate.

A: "This homework is so retarded."
B: "Like your face!"
A: "What the fuck?"
B: "Like your face!"
A: "You're not making any sense."
B: "Like your face!"

I think it's absolutely terrific.

---

Moooooooooooooo

So I've been drinking grass jelly drinks recently. They sell them at work and my mum says it's super healthy and all. Apparently grass jelly is made from boiling grasses in the mint family with potassium carbonate, and then cooling it down to a jelly-like consistency. It can then be mixed with syrup to produce a drink with cooling properties... and now I can say "I drink crushed grass on a regular basis".



KI
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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Why Boys and Girls don't get along

This is a conversation I had with a friend of mine, we're pretty close and retarded, that on/off vibe.

X: Let's say the city is overrun by zombies, right? And our group [of survivors] are running away from a bunch of zombies and you trip and break your ankle. What do I do?
Me: What do you mean?
X: I'm torn between staying with you as we both die and letting my group down, or survive to help the group but letting you get eaten by zombies all alone.
Me: What's more important? *twitch*
X: Well, both are. That's why I'm TORN between the choices.
Me: If one of your friends and I are both drowning in a river and you can only save one, who will you save?
X: But that's different! In the zombie scenario, I can't save you by carrying you! I can't outrun them like that. We'll BOTH die!
Me:...
X: What? You want me to die with you?
Me: (with no hesitation) YES.
X: ...
But they're ZOMBIES!

Emotional Tampons

To my limited knowledge, tampons are what one (usually a woman, hopefully) would use to soak up whatever MESS that she needs to EXPULSE. Emotional Tampons are basically the same thing, once Emotional tampons soaks up the mess, they are no longer necessary until the next "negative emotional expulsions" cycle. That's the good thing about Emotional Tampons compared to the real thing: they're reusable.

You know, having an emotional tampon at your disposal must be GREAT and I don't blame people who consciously or unconsciously do it. Who wouldn't want a free therapist on demand?

On the other hand, being an Emotional Tampon must SUCK for the most part. *insert evil laughter here* I mean, you sit there all day absorbing complaints, emotional outbursts, and what do you get for it? Nada...well, most of the time.

Look out for the symptoms, don't be used.
You have been warned.

Thank you.
Ki
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