Saturday, December 24, 2005

1. How can I tell if you are angry?
More often than not, I tend to rant when I'm angry. If I'm really pissed off, then it's usually pretty easy to tell: I shout, I get defensive, I can get even more sarcastic than usual, I can also get pretty hurtful. At it's worst, I can physically lash out but I really hate doing that... but I do that when stressed moreso than angry.

2. How should I behave around you while you are angry?
Sometimes it's best just to leave me alone, because trying to rationalise with me won't always work, it'll just make things worse (make me angrier). Instead of asking "Are you mad? Are you okay?" Let me know you've acknowledged my anger by leaving me some space. If I deny being angry, just don't say anything, it'll only make me bitchier.

3. How do you want me to behave when you are hurting emotionally?
Just be there for me and listen to me. Let me vent. You can kick my arse when I'm feeling better if that's what I need.

4. Are there things we should ~not~ discuss?
Hmm, it would rather depend on my mood.

5. How should I treat you if you are physically ill?
Just stick with me, if you can, or call me up to let me know you're thinking of me. Talk to me about random things. ^^

6. What makes you happy?
Talking with my friends! Sharing amusing things. Writing. Listening to music. Singing. Swimming. Being with people who are special to me in any kind of situation. Curling up with a good book. Watching a movie. Making people laugh. Playing games, either computer games or board games. Oh yes, and going to my sister's house.

7. How would you like for us to recognize your birthday?
I like birthday cards and birthday greetings. Presents are nice but not necessary. Hugs are always welcome. Just having it noticed can be enough, though lots of presents and a slap up meal with all my friends would be wonderful.

8. Are there any standing categories of presents that would be appropriate or unwelcome?
I love surprises! Even little things are appreciated because it's the thought that's gone into it that I love. (I'm one of those people who mean that) Homemade stuff is especially welcome but anything that's purple, or random (anything) I can really dig.
9. Are there times of the year that are difficult for you?
... not that I'm aware of.

10. Are there important anniversaries that we should recognize in your life?
Oh many. My birthday, my first concert, my first crawl, my first walk... lol, just joking. Just my birthday is fine. ^^

11. Who are the most important people in your life to whom we should defer when making plans on your behalf?
I'm not sure there's anyone. I guess if you're planning a surprise and you want to check if it's the kind of thing I'd like or if I'm available, you could always any of my friends, or plan it randomly yourself, there's very little I won't appreciate.

12. What do you share with others?
All kinds of things! Information, things that amuse me, my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I'll share more physical things like books, dvds or whatever, provided I think you'll look after them.

13. What do you NOT share with others?
Well, I'm hardly likely to say that here, am I? Actually, there's very little I won't share, I'm quite open... but, it depends on who I'm around, if I feel that I might offend you, because that's the way you are, then I won't make you uncomfortable... But see, if you're my friend, you should either be down with me and the way I am, or get the fragging hell away from me.

14. How does someone become your friend?
Make me laugh, have some of the same interests or the same kind of outlook. To become an extemely close friend, you just need to be there for me, let me whinge and kick my butt when I need it. It's one of those, "click" things.

15. How does someone lose you as a friend?
Hurt me. Be ignorant and not care about it. Be prejudiced, or be transphobic/homophobic. On some occasions, ignoring me will do it.

16. What scares you?
Accomplishing nothing... being bored out of my skull, losing all my friends.

17. About what are you most sensitive?
Haha! During my cycle! *cough* Or, if that's something you didn't want to know... how about when I'm really stressed out? Yea... I'd say stress causes lotsa touchy subjects and things for me.

KI
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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

It's like the calm before the storm
You better swim
Just like it's cold before it's warm
You'll get back here again
And I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait
I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait I'll wait
I'll wait I'll wait till you fall from grace
It's the calm before the storm
It's there then it's gone

Guess who's gonna be at the Eaton center on December 9th and 11th wrapping presents for donations to the "Make a Wish" foundation?

Meee.

Lately I've been in a very playful-ish mood. I've also really tried to live by my motto for the month, "Do not compete, do not compare." I really try. When I'm busy, I find it easier to live by because I don't see anyone outside of my "task completing tunnel vision"

Yesterday, someone yanked my skirt all the way up in the place d'accueil! Which is technically just a hang out at lunch for the students at school... omg.. I beat the crap out of Kiara... I was so mortified!

I pulled it down immediately, just in case anyone had any more ideas of trying to molest me or anything.
Gawds. :S Well.. That's a lively update for now. ^^
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Monday, November 21, 2005

Well, what has dear Tiffle been up to since the last time she updated? I've been working on my Thesis Statement for English, I spent most of Friday contemplating on whether I wanted to do mine on Religion, Suicide, or Abortion.

I decided to do mine on suicide since I figured, hey, if I can get into really working on it, then I'd do a better job. I went around asking for some opinions on whether or not some people thought suicide was wrong and selfish or not...

Wowie. Like, 99.9% of everyone I asked were suddenly so worried I was planning on committing suicide.
I even asked "person" and he was like, "... why are we talking about this again? Have you been thinking about it? Or are planning on doing so?"

Well, at least he cares. But he WAS a wonderful help. By arguing my points with him he allowed me to find the flaws in my argument and whatnot, even if he did it unconsciously.

On another note, I freeking NEED to go xmas shopping. December is riding in quickly on a reindeer driven sleigh and I have NO presents!!!

GAHH!!

Also, ahem. Guys might not want to read on after this unless they DO feel comfortable talking about female-ian ...things.

So yea, I've been late for about 4 months? Hell, I've only gotten it 3 times since January! Being normal and all I was like, "Whoa! Cool! I don't have to deal with it monthly!" Gawds. Well, after a talk with SOME people... *glares* They had me worrying so much that I was having weird things like Ovarian failures and whatnot...

I never thought I'd be so happy to get my period. Period. XD

Well, Have a good week people!
KI
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Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Do not compete, do not compare.
Let's see how long I live with that as my motto.

[If you don't want to read more emotional crap from me, fastforward downwards to my subject changing.]

I know that I have a competitive flare in me that just doesn't disappear... and the fact that things have just changed so quickly isn't doing any good at all.

I've been thinking about it even more now, and I'm asking myself, "Maybe he was just tired of waiting?"

I dunno, even to myself I seem a little emotionally challenged. I have a hard time relationship-wise expressing myself, with my friends or with him.
To me, it really is all in the little gestures.
The fact that I think about someone enough to call them up and ask how they're doing is... something.

Sigh. Well... I'll just use this as my ranting whenever.. but I'd like to let you know that I'm doing much better. He wasn't worth my time if he doesn't even try to talk to me anymore.

-----------------------------------------

ANYWHO onto bigger better stuff. I have a five day weekend starting tomorrow... and I'm too broke to go see Harry Potter!

I need to complete my Christmas shopping and get my Santa hat and whatnot.
I need to also find things to occupy myself with at school... Where the hell is Paul when you need him?!
Paul is that book project coordinator last year... that year-long project of his?
It kept me busy and I loved it. I need to see less of him and do more things.

Ciao-sies 'tards.
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Sunday, November 13, 2005

It is impossible for a decision to be implemented straightaway. Everything takes time to take shape, and I can feel mine taking one... finally.

I don't know if he saw me, but that isn't important. I ignored him because I knew I had to, and I will always avoid him. I know he'll think I'm childish and unreasonable, but I really cannot be bothered with what he thinks anymore. I had cared too much.

If you like a person you will give yourself away by little actions you do. And I have convinced myself he doesn't like me. The fact that I'm unhappy is inescapable. I'm tired of pretending I'm happy - there isn't even a need for it in the first place. I guess I was just being wishful.

Can't believe how I cried after having that conversation with him. Even during the day before the conversation took place I was already upset. That tells a lot, doesn't it? I don't understand why I still continued torturing myself... I won't stop talking to him, because I'd like to maintain a "friendly" front... eventually. I will live to be myself, to love myself. There are too many things in life waiting for me other than him.

I will always treasure my memories with him, and I may still cry whenever I think of him, but my mind truly is made up. I sincerely hope he gets a girlfriend soon, and that he'll be happy. From wanting to be the person in his life to this.. Is this the highest spiritual attainment of whatever I had felt for him?

It sure never pays.

[EDIT: Oh yea, I like, totally gained 7 pounds since the break-up! Wooo!!! Sweeeet! I suppose it DOES pay in a way... but... yea.]
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Saturday, November 5, 2005

He broke up with me. 3 nights ago. Worst part? I still like that whore.
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Wednesday, November 2, 2005

Yes I've been a bad person... I shall like to think that I'll only do weekly updates from now on. U_U

Anywhosies, so far, I have a poetry contest that I'm bound to be entering in soon at school. Oh, and I have pictures of my awesome costume on Halloweeeeen!

LA KIMONO:


UNE SIDE SHOT:


...:


=P an absolute pleasure to wear, it made me feel so, traditional! But the downside was that I forgot the inside of the obi part, the hard piece? So I had to improvise at school with some cardboard paper.

The kimono doesn't allow much movement also... I was almost late to all my classes... on my way waddling to my locker and whatnot... X_x

KI
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Sunday, October 23, 2005

I'm going to get my black cargo pants today! OMG!
Hehe, and then I'm off to getting some BBT. Yea, it could happen today, I could actually spend my time outside of the house! Pwee!

It's also extremely cold and stuff... but I think I can brave it in order to go shooping!

Oh yeah... That Mathieu dude? I'm telling you right now, I think he's desperate, lonely and stalkerish.

He's calling me four times I day, and I'm like, woah dude... You shouldn't be calling me more than mon p'tit ami first of all... and you could SO get me in trouble by calling this much.

He's also starting to bike around where I live, he doesn't know where I live... but he knows the area... X_X

I need to find out how to block his numbers now. Yes. Numbers. He's calling me from his Gramma's house, his cell phone, his home phone and everything! Holy frack.

I'm like, wigging out!

So yea. Theme might change very soon, I feel a need for differentiality.
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Saturday, October 22, 2005

I've never felt so stalked before.

Well, apologies for the fact that I have been neglecting you all.
To those who I couldn't get a card to, here's my shout out to you now.

Hinaru- I wish you a very belated Happy Birthday! I hope that that day was especially neat for you (lotsa prezzies? Yes? XD) and I wish that it continues to be so for the rest of the year! ...I really am sorry I wasn't on for your birthday. *hugglomps*

MLKK- Love you lots Gabs! I also wish you a super belated birthday, and I'm glad that you had a good time. Here's to good love and faith for the rest of the year! *hugs*

---

Lately, Kiara is everywhere I am, it's really suffocating. I understand that she wants to remain friends with J but, at least grant us some privacy. She's very in-your-face nowadays. I'm starting to bitch again.

Mathieu is a friend from elementary, he's been freaky.
He asks normal questions such as, "How are you? What are you doing now? What are your plans for the weekend? Can I have a recent picture of you?"

Yet, I feel so very violated when he asks those type of questions. He really makes it sound wrong.
He also tried calling me earlier today... I thank the stars that my mom didn't pick it up.

I really need to bitch again.
Everyone's busy today, so, I'm going to try to do my homework and not think about this.
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Sunday, October 16, 2005

Firstly you are all awesome, I loved the cards and well-wishing.

Secondly,
An update for this weekend, ^_^
I pretty much went to the mall, lost my umbrella, got soaking wet yesterday. Went to see Domino, didn't quite follow the story, and I'd give it a 6.5/10 Anywho, I went with Annie, Fi, Ali, Joseph and Terrence. =D Goodtimes right there.

J sat next to me and half way through the movie we were holding hands and whatnot, and then I think I fell asleep for the last ten minutes of the movie and he stayed behind and woke me up. *sighs*

Can't wait to go to school tomorrow. ;o)

We took some pictures outside of the Guzzo, and I'll be sure to upload them when I get them from Annie.

Happy Birthday to all people for the rest of the month btw. I've gotta go make your cards. ^^;

---

Birthday shout-outs to:
Me Luv Kyo Kun! Oct.15---Hinaru! Oct.18 *huggles all*

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