Thursday, October 14, 2004

   bleh
hullo everyone. sry i wasn't on last night. stupid....infernal....
headaches....

here's a poem for yous guys. hope you like it;everyone who has read it so far does ne way....

Blood
i bled last night for no reason
and from it flowed my pain and aggravations.
i’ve bled so much my head spins;
i’m weak.
across my face, black tears are streaked.
i bleed each night;
i bleed each day.
will this Pain never go away?

so many scars on my skin are left
from all the festering wounds that wept,
but never shall anyone ever see
the permanent markings left on me.
yet the largest marking from the maul
has affected me the most of all.

when i laugh,
it begins to bleed.
when i cry and when i sigh
out rushes forth the blood from me.
it’s stained my clothes so many times;
the blood’s as thick as sap from pines.
but though you look, you’ll never see
the blood stains that are covering me.
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Tuesday, October 12, 2004

   102 Hits! ^^

You are everybody's friend!!! Yay!!! You like
talking to thousand of people...you're friendly
and always up to a party!!!


What kind of friend are you?(anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Hits:102
Pop. Ranking: 2480

Thanks, you guys!
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Monday, October 11, 2004

   My puppy, Duke
I wuv my puppy
and I take good care of him
but he seems really
depressed lately.
What should I do for him?
Please HELP!
/\_/\ how can u resist this face?
| ; ; |
\_"_/ plz help~k-chan
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Sunday, October 10, 2004

   death...replay
over and over again in my mind play the words "the old that is strong does not wither....but what happens to the old that is weak?" Let's face it, my grandmother is dying right before my eyes. I don't know if she'll be around much longer. This is her 2nd close call with death in the past 2 months! I don't want to lose her; she's my favorite of the two grandmothers that i have. It'll be real hard for me if she dies soon, because the last time there was a funeral for someone in my family that I knew(i have a big family) was in 1999! So many people died that yeat that I just sort of became numb to it all and my face "permanently" stained with tears. If you look closely now, you can still see the markings. that was when i was 9. I don't want her to die yet, if there's some way I could postpone it until at least after my High School Graduation (5 years) then I would do whatever I could to gain that time... but i know i can't.
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Friday, October 8, 2004

   hullo, i'm working out right now
hullo peoples! this is so amuzing! i can surf the web and work out at the same time! its really fun! they're about to close, so i gots 2 go now...
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Wednesday, October 6, 2004

   Boredom
some one, any one, give me suggestions for what to write a poem about, and i'll do it! Just nothing sick or gross, also, give ideas for what to make a quiz about.
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Tuesday, October 5, 2004

   Here's the poem I promised.
Blood
i bled last night for no reason
and from it flowed my pain and aggravations.
i’ve bled so much my head spins;
i’m weak.
across my face, black tears are streaked.
i bleed each night;
i bleed each day.
will this Pain never go away?

so many scars on my skin are left
from all the festering wounds that wept,
but never shall anyone ever see
the permanent markings left on me.
yet the largest marking from the maul
has affected me the most of all.

when i laugh,
it begins to bleed.
when i cry and when i sigh
out rushes forth the blood from me.
it’s stained my clothes so many times
the blood’s as thick as sap from pines.
but though you look, you’ll never see
the blood stains that are covering me.
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   October 5, 1999
Today's date is a very significant day in my life. On October 5, 1999 my dog, Hunter was put to sleep because he had cancer in his stomach that had spread to his liver. I never even got a chance to say good-bye. I had wanted to be there in last moments and my parents would have pulled me out of school for it, but they didn't hear my through my tears when I said i wanted to come. He had been my best friend since the day I was born and I never even got to say good-bye. Even though I have a new dog now, Duke, it's still just not the same. I still miss him and I still have his old toy bone.
photo58_tn.jpg
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Tuesday, September 28, 2004

   librarians-comments-song lyrics
The librarians @ my school r so freakin' bitchy! I was gonna add a post during study hall, but they caught me on myO and knew that it wasn't school work, so they kicked me off. I also told the one who asked if I was doing school work that I was doing my science hw(that I did last night).
So then she bitches on and says that 'since i lied 2 her, i can't use the comp. during study hall 4 2WEEKS!- and this was my first "offense"! By GOD, they're a bunch of assholes!
----------------------------------

How come like nobody posts ne more? Don't u guys like me? :(

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Oh yeah, about my song lyrics: i DIDN'T just break up with a bf or something-CAUSE I'VE NEVER HAD ONE! no, its just the complication of my life right now-just don't ask me 2 explian it in detail cuz its way 2 complex and personal.

PLEASE POST MORE!!!!!!!!!
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Monday, September 27, 2004

   Song quotes
"I see a red door and I want it painted black." -Painted Black, Rolling Stones

"Now I will tell you what I've done for you
50,000 tears I cry
Screaming,
Deceiving,
And bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
....GO AWAY....Don't want your hand this time
I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reach the bottom"-Going Under, Evanescence

"right now I feel invisible to you like I'm not pretty, yeah.
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you?
Why'd you turn away?
Here's what I have to say,
I was left to cry there
waitin' outside there
grinnin' with the lost stare,
that's when I decided..
Why should I care,
cause you weren't there,
when I was scared,
I was so alone.
You, you need to listen.
I'm startin' to trip,
I'm losin' my grip
and I'm in this thing alone."
-Losing Grip, Avil Lavigne

"Isn't anyone trying to find me?..It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life"
-I'm With You,Avril Lavigne

"Say goodbye to all my friends
Can't say when I'll be there again
Its time now, I turn around
Turn my back on everything
Turn my back on everything...
Everything's changing when I turn around,All out of my control;I'm immobile.Everything's changing when I turn around,All out of my control
I'm immobile"-Mobile,Avril Lavigne

"Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out..
Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life!"-Anything But Ordinary, AL

"You know I always stay up without sleepin',
And think to myself,
Where do I belong forever,
In whose arms, the time and place

Chorus:
Can't help it if I space in a daze,
My eyes tune out the other way,
I may switch off and go in a daydream,
In this head my thoughts are deep,
Sometimes I can't even speak,
Would someone be and not pretend
I'm off again in my World!..When you're all alone in the lands of forever,"- In My World, AL

"If you're tryin' to turn me into someone else,it's easy to see I'm not down with that.(Not nobody's fool) Not nobody's fool"-Nobody's Fool,AL

"How can you see into my eyes
like open doors.
Leading you down into my core
where I've become so numb.
Without a soul
my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold..Call my name and save me from the dark..Save me from the nothing I've become"-Bring Me 2 Life,Evanescence

"But now I know she -
Never was and never will be
You don't know how you betrayed me
I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore
It never was and never will be
You don't know how you betrayed me"-Everybody's Fool, Evanescence

"I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase."-My Immortal, Evanescence

"No lost words, whisper slowly, to me.
Still can't find what keeps me here...Haunting you, I can smell you, alive."-Haunted, Evancence

"You don't remember me, but I remember you.
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you.
But who can decide what they dream?
And dream I do."-Taking Over Me, Evanescence

"I tried to kill the pain,
But only brought more.
(So much more)
I'm dying,
And I'm pouring, crimson regret, and betrayal.
I'm dying,
Praying,
Bleeding,
Screaming.
Am I too lost to be saved ?
Am I too lost ?
My wounds cry for the grave.
My soul cries, for deliverance.
Will I be denied ?
Christ! Tourniquet! My suicide."-Tourniquet, Evanescence

"Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me
Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
Cannot cease for the fear
Of silent nights
Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming
The goddess of imaginary light
If you need to leave the world you live in
Lay your head down and stay a while
Though you may not remember dreaming
Something waits for you to breathe again."-Imaginary,E

"Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you."-My Last Breath,E

"I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Open your eyes and look outside, find a reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now."-Nobody's Home,AL

"I cannot find a way to describe it
It's there inside; all I do is hide
I wish that it would just go away
What would you do, you do, if you knew
What would you do
All the pain I thought I knew
All my thoughts lead back to you
Back to what was never said
Back and forth inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable; come and take me away"-Take Me Away,AL

"I wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away
I didn't know that it was so cold
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted was somebody who cares
I'm sinking slowly
So hurry hold me
Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone."-All You Wanted, Michele Branch

"Turn it inside out so I can see
The part of you that's drifting over me
And when I wake you're never there
But when I sleep you're everywhere
You're everywhere
Just tell me how I got this far
Just tell me why you're here and who you are
'Cause every time I look you're never there
And every time I sleep you're always there
'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
I try to wash the pain away from me."-Everywhere, MB

"No, don't just walk away
Pretending everything's ok
And you don't care about me
Could you look me in the eye
And tell me that you're happy now
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased
Are you happy now?
And you don't care about it
And I, I've given up this game
And leaving you with all the blame cause I don't care."-Are You Happy Now?, MB

"Just talking to the rain..
And it’s keeping you away
So just give me one good reason
Tell me why I should stay
‘Cause I don’t wanna waste another moment
I’ve been waiting for a chance to let you in
If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I’ll know everything is alright
Breathe
Every little piece of me
You’ll see...
So I whisper in the dark
Hoping you’ll hear me
Do you hear me?"-Breathe, MB

"I’m packing my bags ‘cause I don’t wanna be
The only one who’s drowning in their misery
And I’ll take that chance ‘cause I just wanna breathe
And I won’t look back and wonder how it’s supposed to be."-Empty Handed, MB

"just a day, just an ordinary day
just tryin' to get by.."-Ordinary Day, Vanessa Carlton
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