Sunday, November 21, 2004

   It's been awhile.
Well well well, look who's back, ME! Sorry for the long and drawn out absence, I've been really busy the last little while but I promise you I will not take an unanounced Hiatus like that again without letting everyone know.

This past week I've been haunted with self doubt, depression, worry, nightmares, and the ghost of what could be. I'm sure none of that made anysense to any of you and I don't wish to explain. but I will say this:

Has anyone ever felt like there is one decision, or one action you must do that will determine the rest of your life? I'm feeling that way right now and am very conflicted. The feeling has been daunting over me all year but was just recently thrust into focus by a current nightmare I had friday night. My life is so fucked up right now.

On a different note, Congrats to my friend Nicole on getting a job, I'm very proud and excited for her. Also, Garden State is back in a theater near me and I'm going to see it everyday this week, even if I have to go alone. i know someone I'd like to go with, but I probably wont have the guts to ask him, and when I finally do at the last minute, he will have to work (which in reality is just an excuse to not go with me.)

Anyways.

The song of the day is GIVE UP THE GRUDGE by GoB, which I dedicate to Wayne who was pissing me right off today. (more on that little perv tomarrow when I have time):

Don't make me listen to the stupid broken record again
The needle's skippin' and repeatin' never reaching the end
You know you're bitching and complaining like you've got it so tough
We're sick of all your crying will you ever shut up?

So keep bleeding your fake blood 'till no one ever sees it
If that's the best you can make up at least act like you mean it

Give up the grudge
Shut your fucking mouth
why you gotta judge everybody but yourself
Take a look around you
There ain't nobody home
I may be a loser
But at least I'm not alone

Your mercedes won't start
Yeah that's a crying shame
I guess 90K a year buys nothing but complaints
The people in my neighborhood think that I'm a threat
While the boss gets richer they get deeper in debt!

So keep bleeding your fake blood 'till no one even sees it
If that's the best you can make up at least act like you mean it

Give up the grudge
Shut your fucking mouth
why you gotta judge everybody but yourself
Take a look around you
There ain't nobody home
I may be a loser
But at least I'm not alone

yes, Anyways.


I go to bed now, hopefully I'll get a little sleep,(damn nightmares).
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