Thursday, September 14, 2006

   In the end.....I still come out.
I'm not entirely sure on how to put this, but I guess i'm in a depressed state and I would like some help on getting out of it. I knew that I was in one but I have been like that for some years now. But it has never affected me like this before. I mean....people are starting to notice and now are concerned with it. I don't know what to tell them. It's not just one thing. It's my entire life, my way of life, my way of thinking, my feelings, my thoughts. It's not a simple thing, I can't just.....tell it all to you. Besides...people seem interested in helping me, but....they lose interest because....fuck it....because it makes them nervous. It weirds them out. I have problems just like everyone else. I help people with there things...at least I try to help....and when it comes to me, they want to and then it takes to long and they just don't....they make it worse. Therapists don't help, they make it worse...they open a big can of fucking worms and the session isn't long enough to fix it. So I go out all vulnerable and hurt, and a big feeling of loss and loneliness. It's effecting my relationships with my friends and family. All I want to do is lock myself into my room and never come out. In the end....I come out. But it just doesn't cut it. Oh well...it's not like you all are going to even give a fuck anyways..
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Saturday, September 9, 2006

back
I'm back, just to let you know.
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Friday, August 25, 2006

I'm going to be gone.
I just wanted to let people know that I am going to be gone for awhile and to not wonder about me and such. Just in case I don't answer to emails or such....
Have a nice life.
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Thursday, August 24, 2006

   Doctor Online
Doctor Online

It's the beginning of the end
You want things to go faster
It's the beginning of the end
Now everything's too slow for you
It's the beginning of the end
You are one step closer
It's the beginning of the end
Say Amen

1-800-SUICIDE
Or maybe Doctor Online could help you die
You need wings to fly
You need someone
To take your place
When you are gone

Is the beginning of the end
You know nothing last forever
A beginning of a trend
You need someone there to care for you
Is the beginning of the end
I don't think you understand
Just a beginning of a flatline
Together

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   Clone Your Lover
Clone Your Lover
-Zeromancer

Clone Clone
Clone your lover
Clone your lover

Hello Hello
who wants the same
Hello Hello
calling your name
Hello Hello
stole your soul
Hello Hello
making you whole

When you're here
I don't care
what you say
what you say to me
as long as you say it

Clone Clone
Clone your lover
Clone your lover
Clone

Hello Hello
you want to know
Hello Hello
who's taking control

When you're here
I don't care
what you say
what you say to me
as long as you say it to me

Clone Clone
Clone your lover
Clone your lover

Wish there was something I could do
Wish there was something else than you
Wish there was the same but new
Wish that I could be with you

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   Rob Zombie & GodSmack
OMFG!!!!!
Rob Zombie & GodSmack are coming to the Cricket Pavilion, here in Phoenix, Arizona.....They will be here the 23rd. of September(A saturday)...and no one is going to fucking stop me from seeing them!!! I'm so fucking Excited to see them!!!
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Wednesday, August 23, 2006

   ORGY
No...just because my name says Orgy, doesn't mean that I am talking about an actual Orgy....the Sexual kind. I am talking about the kick ass band Orgy....leadsinger is Jay Gordon.....I have to thank Lex for introducing them to me.....I don't know why...but I put them on today and was all like....hey, i'm going to find them on myspace...and I did...It also sounds like they are going to regroup soon and put together a new album.....I hope that it is soon. That would be fucking great if they did....
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Saturday, August 12, 2006

   Mating Lizards!!!! @.@
I have two Green Anoles and my cousin that I live with has one. Well, I just happened to get one male(Grim) and one female(Cammi), then the other lizard is a female(Jade). Well Cammi is anti social and doesn't like to be out of her cage or with any of the other two lizards. Grim and Jade are the most active...They want to escape constantly. Well......Jade and Grim we put into the same cage and gave Cammi her own...we have two different cages. One big for two lizards and one small for one. So we put Cammi in the small one and the next day I look over and Grim is fanning his little red neck flap thing(they do that to attract females for mating) and turning almost lime green(also to attract the females) and Jade is turning green and bowing her head like the females do to say that yes, they are ready to mate and make baby eggs. Ha! I saw that and was like. "Oh hell no!!! There be no little baby lizards running around here." At least not until it's been a made decision with my aunt and uncle that they are okay with more lizards and having them be babys. Grim that damn little fucker tried to bite me because I got him out of the cage and Cammi and Jade are in the big one. So now he is in his own cage and Grim and Jade will sleep in the same corners in the different cages. It looks so cute but it's kinda sad.
We all still haven't decided what we should do yet, so I would really appreciate it if we got some adivce and such. Anyone who wants to put in thier two cents, go ahead.
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Thursday, August 10, 2006

   Why you were born? What do you seek in life? What is the reason behind your existence?
You seek power. you like to think of what is beyond things and find what is right for you then grab it untill the profit is gone then you go out and try to find another prey. i'm not saying you are selfish or evil "though there are people would disagree" i'm just saying that you know what you want and how to get it, you know where is your powerful point and you tend to show it though you try sometimes to play with people's weakness. try to focus on the good side of yourself and one day you will be important cuz you are truly special.
you are best at jobs needs an intelligent, graceful person like you, such as businessmen, lawyers,......



http://quizilla.com/users/PrEtTyMaYa000/



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   Oh yeah!!
There's definately nothing like setting up your page on here and making it to what you like. Okay so not exactly like I wanted it but as close as i'm gonna get tonight.

You know....People are pretty disgusting but fucking hilarious when they don't think you are looking. You see, I'm a people watcher. I like to go to places full of people and just sit down and watch them. It's fun. Little kids picking their noses and wipping it on merchandise in the store as their parents or sisters and ever older brothers are dragging throught the store. How many toddlers i've seen in the past month put their gum or sticky candy(like laughy taffy) in their parent's purse, on someone else seat. Hell I even saw this kid today...about six, had a big wad of pink gum throw it across the food court in the mall and it landed a good twenty feet from him in this couples shake. It was like the kid has pro basketball player in his future. The couple was pissed and the little got away with it. It made my day that's for sure.

Then you also have the people on the road as you are driving by them. The amount of "adults" that are driving and stopped or not even stopped they are driving and they are serisouly digging up there. There was this chick...it made me laugh cause she had this convertable.....it was a good yellow color.....I thought she was going to come out with her brain attachted to her finger. My aunt...who was sitting next to me couldn't figure out why I was laughing so hard. When I could breath she laughed.

It's fun to sit there and watch people. You should try it sometime. Just take sometime and go to the mall and sit there. Take a friend or two and you can all sit there and comment on the things you see. Restuarants are the best though. The amount of kids that you see always "misbehaving" and doing things that they "shouldn't" be doing. But yeah. I think i've rambled on long enough for ya. I'm pretty sure your done reading this anyways. So have fun!!!! I know I will.

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