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• killingegde99
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• 1989-06-17
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• Male
Location
• Schertz, TX
Member Since
• 2005-11-07
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• Student
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• hmmmm..... cant remember

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• 3 time state TKD champ
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• 1995
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• pilot
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• drawing,TKD,VG playing
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myOtaku.com: killingedge99


Sunday, June 11, 2006

   ...
Time:409 AM

Have you ever stayed up at night, contemplating everything decision and action that you made, since you moved to where you live now? I found that this weekend, since everyone is away, I have a lot of time to reflect on the year I have spent in Texas. I am not proud of some of the things I have done, but I feel that ultimalty I will emerge a better person for it. I have had alot of firsts, but I have had alot of repeated occurences I thought I had escaped whe I moved from Maryland. In the end, I discovered that no matter where I am, the same crap turns up, and well, I will just have to accept it. I've played moderator, counselor, friend, lover, and yet, I feel distant and empty. I have a good time withfriends, but in the back of my mind, something refuses to let go of me and allow me to be happy. No matter what I try, I dont think I can fill this gap. More and more, I look to the past, when I was with my now ex, Sam. We dated for two years, and every moment together seemed right, no matter what we were doing. Since I moved here, I keep trying to replicate the feeling, and for a few minutes suceeded. Now it is gone, and has left me worse for the wear than before I found it. Its like a narcotic, and this is my withdrawl phase. I pray it is only a phase beacuse I dont know how long I can keep up with this. I believe I have angsted your ears off enough for now, so I shall stop now...
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