Tuesday, January 30, 2007

   hey!
awww... candace isnt here today... im at school right now doing nothing... so yeahhhh... dang i feel soo horible! =[[[ cus right now im going out with thai, adn it jsut feels like we re not going out! it seems like im always mad at him... but i was just a little ticked about some things, and i told him ot to worry about it cause ill get over it. and it seems like if i dont smile or be happy, hes like whats wrong? theres nothing wrong! i just feel like mentioning it! gahh... gah.. i know it isnt a big thing or anything... but i jsut need to put it down...
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Saturday, October 21, 2006

  gah!! i just feel sooo fustrurated right now!!!! it just suks!! like i wanted to talk to him more... but for some reason i never find the right time... like i never can talk to him much anymore!!! theres always someone there.... and when i do talk to him, its not for long... after school i steyed after tennis with him... and the whole time, i barely said hi... =[[ and the whole time my friend told me that i look like im about to cuss someone out but im just holding in.. but i didnt feel like that, i felt depressed, but i probably looked like that cus the sun ! hehe and my brother came to pick me up and i didnt say goodbye cus he was in the upper courts, and i was in the bottom courts.,.. so i barely see him much either,,... i should be happy that hes spending time with him friends and all because that was the thing i was afraid most of if we ever went out, and we re not going out, and im jsut... feeling so out of place.... and i wanted to ask him out since hes soo shy, but we re never alone, i cant call him cus hes mom doesnt like me evne though i never saw her... im just... im just... i dont know how i feel... i jsut miss that lil boi... =[[
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  gah!! i just feel sooo fustrurated right now!!!! it just suks!! like i wanted to talk to him more... but for some reason i never find the right time... like i never can talk to him much anymore!!! theres always someone there.... and when i do talk to him, its not for long... after school i steyed after tennis with him... and the whole time, i barely said hi... =[[ and the whole time my friend told me that i look like im about to cuss someone out but im just holding in.. but i didnt feel like that, i felt depressed, but i probably looked like that cus the sun ! hehe and my brother came to pick me up and i didnt say goodbye cus he was in the upper courts, and i was in the bottom courts.,.. so i barely see him much either,,... i should be happy
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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

   hey!
hey watsup everyone... dont think anyone would respond to this..., but im bored right now and in webmastering, and this site is practically the only site the school didnt block. hehe so todays early release and my teacher isnt here, and i have a whole hour here since its during lunch.... so yeha... nothing much to do. well yesterday i felt so horrible that i kinda made my freind kind of pissed off and sad because i told her i felt like this guy and me isnt going to work out. And she told me "nooo whenever i see you i see him, and i cnat see him without you."
and i do like him right now, but i just feel like we re not close anymore. Last year when we were sophmores, we just had a great time being freinds and i could just talk to him about everything! the bad stuff the good stuff, even things that my best friend wouldnt even want to know about. And i felt secure with him, and happy and i forget everything else that happens around me...

but that was last year...
this year, i cnat talk to him now, or at least the personal things... like im afraid to tell him anything anymore... and in school, i try to be with him... but theres always someone around that i cant say much too... so i cnat even talk to him much cus i dotn wnat to get in between his freinds, so i dont say much. ANd on the phone, before i could say anything i want with him, and talk to him about anything, now his mom doesnt like me and doesnt want me to talk to him at home...
im not saying that he isnt trying... but i feel like im not trying... and i feel bad for it...

but at first... wen school started again on august... it would be the first time i saw him in a long while since summer... so i kinda got dressed up for it... i got prettied up too! hehe well i wore a mini skirt and this pretty shirt that i really liked... and straightened my hair... and wen i got to school... he didnt even noticed, he didnt even say anythingg... and for me ... to wear a miniskirt at all... its kinda big... at least for me... and im just sitting there freezing my butt off!! gah!! for this dork!! grr... and he doesnt even mention anything... and i wore contacts too!!! hehe =[ it just made me feel like he doesnt even want to look at me! and then for my birthday, i curled my hair and looked nice... he still didnt sya anything to me... and then the for dress to impress... nada! and i was wearing a skirt.... and it will be the last skirt this year... and he didnt even say anythign... i completely dont know wat he thinks of me... besides that he likes me....

gah!! hes soooo clueless!!!
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