Jerry: “Hello everyone, and welcome to the show! Today’s topic is “Help! My boyfriend is cheating on me with my reincarnation!!!” Now, we’ve done this topic many times before, but I don’t think we’ve ever heard such a sad story to accompany it. Let’s welcome our first guest, Kikyo!”
*Kikyo walks out on stage. She sits next to Maury*
Jerry: “Welcome to the show, Kikyo. It’s good to have you with us.”
Kikyo: “It’s good to be here, Jerry.”
Jerry: “Now Kikyo, you have a pretty sad story to tell us, don’t you?”
Kikyo: “Yes I do Jerry. It’s a very long and tragic story.”
Jerry: “…..Our show is only an hour long Kikyo, do you think you could give us the short version?”
Kikyo: “Ok, well, long story short, I was recently revived after 50 years of being dead. I go looking for my old boyfriend, and when I finally locate him, I find out he’s cheating on me with my reincarnation!”
Jerry: *shocked expression* “Really?”
Kikyo: “Yes Jerry. You leave for a measly 50 years, and your man forgets all about you.”
Jerry: “That’s terrible.”
Kikyo: “Yes Maury. But even more terrible, he says he still loves me.”
Jerry: “Isn’t that a good thing?”
Kikyo: “No Jerry! He says he loves both of us! One moment he’s kissing ME, the next he’s holding hands with HER! I’m here to tell him that he needs to decide which one of us he wants once and for all!”
Jerry: “Let’s bring him out! Welcome Inuyasha everybody!”
*Inuyasha walks out onstage amidst “Booos” from the audience. He sits next to Kikyo.*
*Woman in the audience stands up*
Woman: “If that were MY man, I would leave his sorry a**!”
*audience claps and screams.*
Jerry: “Inuyasha, do you know why you’re here?”
*Inuyasha looks at Kikyo with an “uh oh” kind of look*
Inuyasha: “I…think so…”
Jerry: “Kikyo has something she needs to ask you. Go ahead Kikyo.”
Kikyo: “Inuyasha you have to choose, once and for all. Do you love ME, or that stupid girl?!”
Jerry: “Wait, Inuyasha. Before you choose, let’s bring out that stupid girl. Come on out, Kagome.”
*Kagome walks out on stage. She runs past Inuyasha and slaps Kikyo.*
Inuyasha: “Why did you do that?”
Kagome: “I don’t know…that’s what girls always do on these talk shows, isn’t it?”
Kikyo: “How dare you slap me?!”
Kagome: “Sorry, I thought you had a huge, ugly bug on your head, but it was just your FACE!”
*Kikyo throws herself at Kagome. They roll around on the ground fighting until a couple of security guys run up and tear them apart. The security guys hold them several feet apart. Kikyo and Kagome struggle to get free.*
Kikyo: “Shut up Jerry, or I‘ll seal you to a tree!”
Jerry: “Get her out of here.”
*Kikyo is taken backstage.*
*The security guy holding Kagome lets her go and she finally sits down.*
Kagome: “Whoo…sorry, I think I got a little carried away!” *smile*
Inuyasha: “Just a little…”
Jerry: “I’ve just been informed that Kikyo has been drugged…I mean calmed down…and is now listening from backstage. Now, Inuyasha, please answer the question Kikyo brought you here to answer: Who do you love? Kikyo or Kagome? Please answer now.”
*the audience falls silent. All eyes are on Inuyasha.*
Inuyasha: “The…The truth is…I’ve…I’VE BEEN SEEING SOMEONE ELSE FOR MONTHS!”
Audience: *gasp!*
Kagome: “WHAT!?! Who? Who is it? You can’t be serious!”
*Kikyo is heard shouting from backstage: “Oh, OH they are SO sealed to a tree the minute I get un-strapped from this chair!” *
Inuyasha: “It just so happens I brought him here today.”
Kikyo and Kagome: “HIM?!?!”
Jerry: “Then let’s bring him out!”
*the audience and Kagome anxiously look toward the door. It slowly opens….. and Jaken steps out*
Audience: “………”
Kagome: “……….”
Jerry: “………”
Inuyasha: “Jaken!”
Jaken: “Inuyasha-sama!”
*They run into each other’s arms. Inuyasha picks Jaken up and hugs him*
Jerry: "Well...uh, I think we need to go to commercial break now!"
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Jerry: "And we're back. Inuyasha has just revealed a shocking secret! He's been secretly seeing someone else for quite a while now."
Kikyo: “Who is it? Why Isn’t anyone telling me!?! Hello!?!”
*Inuyasha carries Jaken back to his chair. Jaken sits in his lap. Inuyasha puts Jaken’s tiny cap on one of his ears.*
Jerry: “Ahem…so…uh, this is…”
Inuyasha: “This is Jaken. We‘re deeply in love.”
*they stare into each other’s eyes*
Kagome: “I think I’m going to be sick!”
Inuyasha: “I KNEW you couldn’t accept our relationship!”
Kagome: “What does HE have that I don’t!?!”
Inuyasha: “Jaken is kind and sweet and has a great sense of style!” *Inuyasha points to the tiny hat* “And he’s soooo handsome!
*suddenly, commotion is heard outside the stage door. A voice yelling “I don’t care if I’m not allowed in! The love of my life is in there!” is heard*
*Sesshoumaru bursts through the door*
Jaken: “Sesshoumaru-sama!”
Sesshoumaru: “Jaken! I can change! Don’t desert me for HIM!”
Inuyasha: “He’s MY little green freaky guy now, Sesshoumaru!”
Kagome: “…..I can’t even tell you how wrong this is. I need to leave. Now.”
Jerry: “Where are you going? This is just getting good!” *Maury scoots forward in his chair*
*Kagome glares at Jerry and leaves*
Kikyo: “Everyone forgot about me! Let me go right now! No one is paying attention to me!!!!”
Jaken: “Inuyasha-sama, Sesshoumaru-sama…it’s ALL GOOD! There’s enough Jaken for everyone!”
Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru: “I won’t share you with anyone!”
(Final Thought)
Jerry: "Tragic things do happen, and this was one of the most, its not about who u love, ok so it is, but that doesnt mean u need to cheat on others. Hope u all work things out. Join us next time for "Lie Detector Test Jamboree", Where Maury joins us onstage to help out these troubled people"
*Jerry's ending music plays, the audience leaves. The stage goes dark.*
Kikyo: “Can anyone hear me? ….I’m still back here. Inuyasha left with Jerry’s shoes and forgot about me! I‘m…I‘m still strapped to the chair, and….I have to go to the bathroom…”
ik its twisted but hey! its wat i got when im bored! please dont get mad at me for writing wat i wrote. if u dont like it, tell me but in a NICE way. im not trying to be mean with inuyasha and sesshomaru, im BORED wat can i do?!
~khgirl~
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