Friday, June 1, 2007

   Why do I even bother?
I wonder sometimes, why I bother with anything. Why I bother working on artwork, why I bother singing and striving to be better when I know my dream will never come true, no matter how hard I try. I wonder why I bother to wait for people I know won't call me or show up at my doorstep. I wonder why I bothered getting my hopes up over stupid crushes in the past when I knew I had no chance with them, or why i bother to say I want to make my manga when really, I'll never do it.

I had an AWESOME week since last Thursday, and I didn't think anything could go wrong. Planned on going out tonight with some friends, but my parents went anal on me and told me I shouldn't... my friends are expecting me to be there and I have no way to get in contact with them and tell them that no, I can't go, cause I don't have their phone number. I've been waiting since 6 (it's now ten) for them to call me and tell me the plans exactly and they haven't called yet. (I left them both of my phone numbers) It also doesn't help that a friend of mine is being dramatic and saying things that's making me both angry and frustrated.

And mom tried to make things better by saying 'You can go tomorrow! ^_^'

thanks mom.... thanks for letting me go somewhere when NO ONE will be there, when i ahve no way of getting in contact with those people to ask them to be there, and half of them work either that day or the day after.

Yeah. THANKS A BUNDLE.

I'm almost 20 years old. 20 one month from today, and I still live under my parents rules. I'd understand if I was taking their vehicle, or they were even paying for the gas, BUT GUESS WHAT!?!? It's MY car, and I'M PAYING for every litre of gas that goes in my car. I have my own house key, and I'm a responsible driver. I don't drink and drive, and if I did drink, I'd go and pass out in my car instead of driving home.

So... I'm sitting here at my computer wishing that someone would either call me, or tell me that somehow in this mad world, I have the power to go and stop this high school drama from going on when all of us have been graduated at least TWO YEARS.

*sigh* Why am I even bothering to write this journal?
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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

   Crushed
-Contest is closed. There's no interest in it, so forget it.
-My lifelong crush is getting married and I'm not even allowed to call and say hello cause I might cause relationship problems cause his fiance doesn't know me.
-A really good friend that I know just talked trash about me behind my back and killed all respect I had for him.
-I can't work at my previous job this summer cause they find it too stressful to teach me management skills along with four others and they waited a bit too long to tell me and now I'm left hanging with practically nothing so I might fail a course in college because of that.

...... I'm having a horrible day. Cant you tell?
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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Community Spirit is Dying....
Ok... this scam thing is really killing everyone. I have made my statements in the past about his whole thing and I still stand by them, but I'm not going as low as attacking other members.

I'm reading most of the comments on the front page and thinking: my god...

Everyone is so upset and so hurt, angry, frustrated, tired of all of this, I think it's time we did something to make things happier.

I'm not the best artist, I know. But I think I'm going to hold a contest.

Yup. Contest. The prize isn't that big, just a full CG art request from me, but come on guys. Let's do it for community spirit.

Theme: Theotaku.com Community spirit
What: Wallpaper, Ecard, Drawing that has to do with positive community spirit at theotaku.com.
Contest Close date: March 31st
It has to be your creation, and follow the rules of theotaku.com


No scams here. I can promise that.

I will post all entries by the due date and have everyone vote here by note.

I want this to be big so people cheer up a bit. This is my main focus on this contest. I know I dont have many watching me, so spread the word and bring out the community spirt of theotaku.com.

Now onward. Be cheering and show good community spirit.
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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

   Original art... should I stop?
Not only here, but on deviantart, I've been noticing a huge decline in my votes/comments/faves (all depending on the site, you see) in my artwork that is labelled 'Original'. Any characters that are solely mine, or not part of any series (Tani doesn't count... she's an OC for Naruto...) seems to be simply brushed off and not even cared about.

There's a bunch of pictures in my gallery that are original that I think are great! But, I draw a chibi picture of Rock Lee and it gets more notice than my picture of Jydo (which I put ALOT of work into, mind you... alot more than that chibi)

Here's some comparrisons, just so you know what I'm talking about:

Original: Wrath of the Pheonyx Wings
Theotaku stats: 23 views, 2 votes, 3 comments.
Deviantart stats: 82 views, 3 favorites, 10 comments (trust me... this is BAD for deviantart... especially where I have over 50+ people watching me D=)

Original: Midnight in Wonder
Theotaku stats: 32 views, 2 votes, 2 comments (however, one of those comments is mine in reply of another left...)
Deviantart stats: 39 views, 8 comments, 4 favorites.

Now... look closely everyone. This one peice will beat out the rest of them but like... 10 times.

Fanart: Rock Lee's Undies
Theotaku stats: 131 views, 38 votes, 17 comments
Deviantart stats: 403 views, 14 comments, 10 faves.

....

anyone else see a problem?

What's wrong with originals? If I see original artwork that I like (and yes... I look for original artwork too) then I comment on it, character for an anime or not. I don't always fave it (on DA), but I comment. I try to comment on anything that interests me, but I admit, because of all the people I watch on DA, that gets hard, especially keeping up with everything that everyone submits on my friends list there.

I just feel like something like the wrath of the phoenyx Wings, something that I put 5 hours work into (at least!) getting pushed off for a chibi doodle of Rock Lee that sucks beyond all comparisson a bit depressing.

It's like on art websites, that there is no room for anime art that does not belong to an anime already, and if it does, it has to belong to a good one. THEN only quality matters. Quality isn't anything unless it's in a popular category.

So those of us who do original artwork that may be great compared to a half fast drawing of Naruto eating ramen, sketched in pencil is getting ignored because there's a sketch of Naruto eating ramen...

...

again, depressing, eh?

I've pretty much given up on photography and writing on Deviantart. A big whooping 2 or three comments and hardly any views, and writing, no one likes to to read on DA. No one likes to read fanfiction with original characters anymore, and no one likes reading original stories anymore.

Yes. the world is being robbed of originality.

Maybe that's a bit harsh to say, but I'm fed up, working hard on something that makes me REALLY happy with an outcome, only to get blown over for a chibi I did with alot lesser quality.

D= Does anybody else get what I'm trying to say...?

Sorry for the rantage, but honestly, I need it.

And I know. Hardly anyone watches me here. technically only three people. I lost myotaku popularity when I gave up my oldest pen-name three years ago or so.

Heh... back then I remember getting 50 votes with an 85% average for HORRIBLE sketches that were original. Now I get ziltch.

Hate to sound like I'm complaining because of popularity, but I like... no... LOVE feedback on my work. If I don't get any, and don't know what's wrong with my artwork, I can't fix it to become a better artist. I left my Totally Tag account, deleting it entirely because I was tired of getting next to nothing for votes or comments.

Sorry. I'm stopping now before I lose it. D= Sorry for the few people here that watch me.
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Thursday, January 4, 2007

   Uhm. Flash animation kinda sorta.
Not many people watch me here, but I recently did a flash interactive animation of Tani. You know those dress up gmaes you can play online? Yeah, it's one of those. You can dress my character, Tani.

*shrugs* for those who's interested...

Dress Tani on My Deviantart account! D=

You'll also find more pics on deviantart by me that I wont be uploading here, cause I dont have the time, desire, or there are pics that are for people on Deviantart and have no need here.
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Sunday, December 31, 2006

Short post
XD just to clear things up. I got a comment on my Tani Time Skip at deviantart, stating that the picture was here as well. X3 just to clear things up for future mishaps or whatnot, I am Kitsaku at DA as well, and everthing that's posted here is posted there as well. (actually, I have more stuff on DA, but nothing that I really want to submit here.)

=D just so you guys know and don't think that Kitsaku here or Kitsaku at deviantart (both of them are me XD) are art theives. Now I should post this on DA as well to keep people from there from coming here and reporting art theft even though both of them are me o3o;
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Thursday, December 21, 2006

   Happy Early Holidays
Hey all! I MIGHT Have a Christmas picture to share with you all soon, but there can be no guarentees. However, I do have something to share with you: MUSIC! =3 I sang these songs myself. And the lower picthed voice you hear in one of them is my voice, altered with a lower pitch XD I love my audio program.

Um, enjoy!

Silent Night
http://media.putfile.com/OMG-CRACK-SINGING-XD

Silver Bells
http://media.putfile.com/Silver-Bells-sung-by-Kitsaku

Deck the Halls
http://media.putfile.com/Deck-the-halls-by-Kitsaku
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