Friday, February 24, 2006

first up: orriginal!
Ok, first, I'm feeling depressed right now. And I got yet another fish. This one is going to the library. I'll drop him off monday at the latest. I fixed J Tigerheart's site up for him, so he should be happier...and I made a neckless today, and fixed a cellphone carrier. That was my day. Anyway...I got yoga in the morning. I'll talk to you people later. Here's The orriginal foxglen chap. As always, if you got to my website you can read the all the stories, minus this chap, and the naruto one I'm posting tommorow.

Day 12, Saturday June 5th, 0900

Nothing unusual, strike that. Nothing out of the ordinary to report. Subjects stayed out late, I was able to track them to the local Sizzlers, but lost sight of them. They returned to their base at 0200, and apparently called it a night. At 0700, the butler rose and started general housekeeping. (It should be noted that he did not go out with the others, nor was “Spicy” with them.) At 0800, Red fell down the stairs, followed by a shoe, presumably Black’s. Currently the only movement seems to be coming from the kitchen (Joe is cooking sausages,) and the living room (Red is watching cartoons). It is likely that the others will be getting up in an hour, per last Saturday’s observation.

Jack turned off the tape recorder. It was Saturday, and given the groups pattern, he had the whole morning of mundane surveillance ahead of him. Sighing in contentment, he turned on the TV in the tree. So far his job wasn’t so bad. The only target he had come in direct contact with was the butler. He seemed to be an agreeable guy, which in Jack’s world meant that he had had military training, and lots of it. Shame that the man was working for the enemies. At first he thought that this was going to be a troublesome assignment, but now, it seemed just within his abilities. Hard, and totally improbable, but do-able.

“Wow, this tree’s so cool!”

And the tree! Who would have thought that you could fit so much is such a place. He still hadn’t figured out where it all came from.

“Do you get Cable? Cauz, you know, Batman’s going on soon....” The tree branch to his right creaked, and Jack reached for his gun. “Of course, you’re probably too old and stuffy to watch Saturday morning cartoons....”

Drawing his gun, Jack spun to face the voice, “Freeze!” he shouted at empty air.

“Wow, you’re fast. For a human, that is....” The voice continued from behind him, as if nothing had happened. “Now, you seem to me to be the Jerry Springer type....or maybe Opera. And if you try and point that gun at me again, I’m going to have to hurt you....Now, put the gun down. That’s a good boy....” The owner of the voice walked onto the platform. “I’m Jawbreaker, nice to meet you.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I don’t know, killing time till breakfast, I guess. Oh! And I’m supposed to give you this!” Jawbreaker held out and envelope, which Jack carefully inspected. “Don’t worry, it’s not a bomb or anything....just open it!”

After a few more minutes of careful examination, the wary FBI agent opened the letter and read:

You are invited to brunch in the Foxglen mansion. It’s at 11:30 today. Be there. IF for some reason you can not make anyway.

Sincerely, Black Fox, Red Wolf.

“What happens if I decline the invitation?”

“Hummm....Well....” The dragon-boy scratched his head, “I don’t really know. No one’s ever said no before....” he brightened, “You could always find out!”

“As exciting as the prospect sounds, I think I’ll pay their little game....for now. Tell them I’ll come.”
Ding-Dong Jack waited on the doorstep. He’d been out here for the last five minutes, and no one had answered. You’d think that if they invited him to come over, they’d at least have the decency to answer the damn door! Ding-ding-ding-ding-dong!

Just as Buck was about to start beating down the door it swung open. “Good morning Sir. Sorry for the delay,” Joe calmly explained, “But there was a slight accident in the kitchen, so brunch will be served in the backyard. Please follow me.” He said, stepping aside. It was a short, if interesting, walk to the back patio. The hall was clean, if a little odd, what with chain mail coats in the open closet, and a rosebush with all different colored flowers growing on it. He got one quick glimpse of the kitchen before he was hurried along, and all he could see was white. Flower was everywhere.

“‘Bout time you got here!” muttered Shadow.

Looking up from a game of cards, Crow asked, “Can we eat now?”

“Sure! Dig in! You there, Secret Agent Man, get your ass in gear and sit will you!” snapped Black. All at once, the table burst out into song, “And you guys! Shut it!”

“Wow, you still pissed about this morning?” asked Death.

“Whatever gave you that idea?”

“If this is a bad time, I can go...”

“Nah, it’s fine, Black’s just not a morning person.” grinned Jawbreaker, grabbing a piece of sausage.

Snarling, the cranky fox deftly stole the sausage away from her friend, “Will you shut it?” she growled.

“So, we lost track of you last night....” started Death’s Minion passing a plate down to Jack.

“Yeah, we came out of Sizzlers, and POOF! You were gone.”

“It was sad....We even got you a doggie bag!”

“Wait, you were in Sizzlers the whole time?”

“Well, DUH!” Black said around her coffee mug full of tea, “were do you think we were? On a mission? It was Friday night for crying out loud! Steak night!”

“Calm down, you’re scaring him,” admonished Shadow, “you’ve got to understand that he’s new here, and doesn’t know that we own half of that Sizzlers.”

“Wait..... you own half of Sizzlers?!” stammered the FBI agent.

“Quit gaping and eat! You haven’t even touched your food, and if you don’t hurry, Red will eat it for you. Yes, we own half of Sizzlers. For that matter, we own half of most of the businesses in this town. Pass the coco-pancakes, please!” Crow asked.

“Anyway... what do you think of the tree? We had it upgraded with the latest gadgets last month. Don’t worry; we didn’t do the instillation...” Started Black, apparently feeling better, “We just had the guy’s who make the stuff come by and do it for us. So, let’s see....what else? Hey, Red, you’re being awfully quite.”

“Must. Eat. Can’t. Talk. BACK OFF CARRION EATER IT’S MINE!” growled the wolf, chasing away Crow’s fork with a snarl.

“Will you two stop that?!”

“Oh dear....” sighed Shadow, “They’re at it again. Well, Mr. Buck, sorry about this.”

“Hey, what are you apologizing for?!”

Shadow raised her voice in an effort to be heard, “We were hoping for a normal meal…”

Death’s Minion looked up, “This is normal!”

“But he doesn’t need to know that, now does he?” muttered Death.

“He already knows that! He’s spying on us!” shouted JB, exasperated.

“Which brings us to the point of this meal….”

Flippantly Red threw in, “There was a point to this?”

Thwack! “Yes, you idiot. To warn him off, remember?” snarled Black, pulling out a fan of death.

“Owwww! No fair! Jack, she hit me!” The agent just looked nervous, “Fine. Don’t help. I vote we don’t warn him off. I say we use him as a new chew toy!”

“We can’t do that. It’s not the 70’s anymore. People tend to notice when FBI agents go missing.” sighed Shadow, “Those were the days…..Anyway, Mr. Buck, allow us to explain the situation.”

“I’ll do it,” the fox jabbed her fork towards the agent, “Listen John Deer,”

“That’s Jack Buck”

“Whatever. You could be Ass Fuck for all I care. Where was I? Oh yeah. Listen, we don’t really like you guys butting into our business. As a general rule we stay out of government affairs, so what we’d really like is for you to stay out of ours. But we both know that that isn’t going to happen. You government types are always up in our faces, and guess what? We don’t like it. We don’t work for you people, and you frankly couldn’t stop us even if you had to. So here’s what I want you do; forget what your boss told you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Just what she said,” Red took over, “everything your boss told you, forget it. If you wanna live that is. Frankly, we’re bored. If you keep sneaking around, we might get the wring idea and decide to eat you, or something. We’re sick of playing ‘we can’t see you.’ It’s our turn to be all up in your face.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Jack asked, silently wondering are they trying to trick me?

“No,” said Shadow, “just thought we’d give you a heads up.”

“Yeah,” added Crow, “You know, the old, ‘when you turn around, I’ll be there,’ thing.”

“Except,” injected Death’s Minion, “in our case, we really might be right there,”

“Breathing down your neck.” finished Death.

“Or chewing on it,” added Jawbreaker, “what? I was just kidding!”

“I see. Well, if that is the case, I think I’ll be heading out. Thank you for the meal, it was quite enlightening.” Jack said as he headed towards the door.

“Sir, if you’ll follow me?” Joe humbly asked, appearing out of nowhere.

As the two left the patio the OWK sighed as one. Jack hadn’t even touched his sausages or pancakes, after all that work they did in the kitchen….
(A.N.L.: What exactly did the OWK mean by what they said to Buck? And will the kitchen ever be the same again? Stay tuned for the next installment of Foxglen to find out! And please read the all new Naruto chapter as well.)

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