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Monday, July 17, 2006


   Farther and farther I sink into my pity party...
This is another long-winded whiny-ass rant, read if you want but I don't blame you if you don't.

I just want to hang out with my friends but I haven't really gotten too and I'm beggining to think all my friends are superficial and don't care to hang out. This always happens I get the kind of friends who hang out when no one they know and like better is around. At this point, everybody knows each other. I have been stuck is this freakin' house so long without friends who call or email me back or anything it's beggining to feel like a prison. I talk to my internet friends more than my real life friends and when I do call a real life friend and they're busy doing something else with somebody else I get jealous. Then again it's probably because I no longer have a best friend other than Katie and I must irratate people so much that they eventually leave me along. I just feel like it must be my fault ie, maybe I'm iratating, maybe I'm to whiny, maybe I'm boring, maybe I'm ugly (shock! this one is actually in here because of my total lack of love interest)Maybe I am too much of a weirdo, maybe it is as my mother says I intimidate them, maybe they all think I'm stuck up because I'm smart (which in truth I am just a little, I can't stand people who don't even attempt to pass a class and then want me to help them or think that I'm being a bitch when I'm looking down my nose at them. I'm not going to help some damn prep just because she's too lazy to do her homework. ) I don't think chasing after people is good I've tryed that before and I always chase the wrong crowd of people, people who don't like me and I'm not sure why they let me hang around anyway. I get so mad, because I'm just freaking sitting here all day wasting my summer (I can't get a job because I have to watch my little brothers and I can't even freakin' drive anyway) and I think if only I could get out of this damn house I would have a chance.

I could go on like this for days so I'll stop now. :)

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