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Friday, July 15, 2005


   ummm...

I feel kind of depressed right now. I think Julie is mad at me. She asked me if I would have sex with her and I said no. I think she is pissed at me but she didn't say she was. I don't know, maybe I am just imaginging things. I am a paranoid person by nature lol. Julie asked me out again. I will go with her to Dutch Wonderland tommorrow morning. Dutch Wonderland is an amusement park in Lancaster, PA. Maybe I will ask her if she is mad at me. I really like her a lot but if this relationship should fail then I'd want our friendship to remain, so I didn't think sex on the first date was a good idea.

My Mom yelled at me today. It was for a really bullshit reason too. She read my fic on microsoft word (I have it saved there to work on then copy and paste it to otaku when I post it). She said it was porno sex smut. She said that I need to stop being such a pervert. Sometimes I really dislike her. Like today. She always hates my writing, whatever it may be. She hates my music too. And my goals in life, and how I dress. And she says I have no moral standards because I've had sex before marriage. Fuck, se pisses me off so much sometimes. I will try to work on my fic a little tonight but I feel really empty inside. Sad and empty, I don't know it's hard to desrcibe. I want to cry but I can't becasue I always feel stupid after crying.

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