Sunday, June 18, 2006

   Oh my gosh....i'm sorry....
Wow.

I feel so utterly bad at the moment I feel like crawling in a hole and dying.

-__________-;;

I'm sorry you guys for not commenting for awhile on your pages and not updating for the past 5 days I think.....?

I've just been so caught up with everything this week and it's all hitting me on the last day.
I had a pretty good day yesterday.Actually a really good day.Went with some of my friends to this park called Windy Hill Park and we had a water fight with water balloons for about three hours and then played on the playground equipment.

About two hours later we went to Rihannas house that was across the street and we played karaoke and ate pizza.I had to go home afterwards but that was really fun.

Today I found out that my aunts cat is probably going to die sometime next week or something because she is 20 years old.

That just really made my day!

-_________-

One of my best friends Ashley that I met over the internet has started ignoring me for some reason cause she had gone to see her boyfriend that she met over the internet and now they're all cool and whatnot, whatever.

She can pretend that she doesn't know me all she wants.It only makes me feel OH SO FUCKING GREAT!
I'm really sorry for going on like this and just being so depressed about everything but I mean I can't help it and I really need to rant about it sometimes.

I have nothing else that I can do better and it just letsa everything out and it somehwta makes me feel better afterwards.

I swear, I need to read a good yaoi fanfic and just try and feel better. Cause now at least I'm not resorting to cutting myself anymore. Kinda.
I'm getting over the habit.

I have actually updated as of now. I hope I can keep updating everyday like I used to.

Love you guys,

-Ashleigh <33
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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

   Hello Thur
I'm happy happy!

^_____^

I woke up at noon today and felt like doing nothing but then my mom and my sister came home with a car full of my sisters clothes. I helped her go through it in the living room and she tried stuff on. I got some of the stuff that wouldn't fit her. Then we tried on swimsuits and I fit in a lot of the ones that she didn't until she was 16 or 17. I showed my mom some and she told me I had a really good figure for my age.

._______.

My sister is going to camp to be a counseler this summer and thats why she had a whole binch of her clothes taken out of storage and such. I really don't want her to go because it's so awesome when she visits and stays here. She's like a mentor for me when I don't see my psychiatrist. Even if I have a problem at 2am, she'll listen to me and relate to me if she can. I know her life has been harder than mine because she is leagally blind. Meaning she can see kinda.

^_________________________________^

And ironicly, ya know how i'm offered to take care of those kittens that Barbra asked us about in that note? Well, theres that and theres a litter of kittens in the next dorr neighbors yard that we might be able to catch and things.

=w=

Well I have to get off the computer because my mom wants to go on for awhile and it's almost dinner time. Damn the tempting smells.

@_____@

Love you guys,

-Ashleigh <3


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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

   Feeling better =^____^=
I have felt better the last two days after the other post. My friends cheered me up here at MyO and my friends from all over.

Thanks!

o(^___^)o

It's so cool because yesterday I may have had my music too loud when I was home alone and I missed Barbra. She is an animal control officer and we're good friends because there have been numerous litters of kittens born in our backyard.

The last litter that was born was of three kittens and I mostly took care of them and then they were given to petsmart when they were two pounds to be adopted because I already have five cats right now.

^___^;;

So then I missed her and she left a note on our door that asked if we were intrested in fostering some more kittens until they were two pounds.

I really wanted to do it again so when my mom saw it she agreed because I really wanted to do it.I'm going to probably be the one that takes care of them the most because my parents have to work, my sister is leaving again, and my brother and his friend have summer school.
This is just like last time!

=w=

My mom told me this morning that if Barbra calls and asks how many kittens I get to tell her the number and stuff cause my mom said that I'm in charge of that.

I'm soooo happy right now.

Luff you guys,

-Ashleigh <33
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Sunday, June 11, 2006

   *sigh*
Hmmmmm...I keep yawning and stretching xD
I dunno why.Does anyone know a good anime gif site or something because I'm not getting any good results on google at the moment.
-______-;;

So I have this friend named Ashley who I met over the internet a while ago.I met her boyfriend last year about a month after they started to go out.We were friends for a long time, we had lotsa conversations ands tuff and then he stopped talking because he got depressed and stuff about somethin her still doesn't want to tell me about and probably never will.

He met his g/f Ashley over the internet too.She's a really nice person but she is always depressed (like me -___-) and has a bad life at home in canada.
She is one of my best friends.She's so awesome. Then okay her b/f Levi (my friend also I think)
and me started to talk a lot and stuff and she never knew about it. Nor that I called him before on the phone. He really didn't mention her a lot anymore.Because he used to when they first started going out.

I seriously was falling in love with this guy.And he seemed to know it but he never told me.I mean I told myself I should stop right there cause he has a girlfriend. But I didn't.
Then bunches of fights happened and I always ended up feeling shitty and it felt like everything was my fault. I mean he wouldn't talk!

I tried to get him to talk because it was scaring me...but it just ended up in fights that I seemed to provoke. It was the only way he would talk.
Then his Ashley got involved and me and her started talking about stuff and started to become really good friends. Even though all the bad shit I heard about him I still didn't feel differently about him. For the longest time he was affecting my stae of mind and feelings everyday.

Then things went deeper to the point of no talking whatsoever for a week at a time and then through all the stuff I put together..he was leading me on even though he had a girlfriend.I confronted him because when me and Ashley talked about it, we started getting suicidal.
I called him one night after stupid conversations with his friend on the internet and I woke him up. I started talking and asked him to choose me or his girlfriend and he told me coldy over the phone that it was ovbiously his girlfriend and not me. Just cause she was going to see him for a week.

D':<

So after that phonecall I was left to lay in my bed and cry myself to sleep for the umpteenth time that week.

-________-;;

Then Ashley went to see him and blah blah blah, barely got to talk to her when she was online cause he kept kissing her.

>_______<

I bet they are so happy together without me nagging and tagging along.

I hope that they fucking realize how much it has torn me apart to try and try and get nowhere and be thrown out like I'm nothing.
And the conversation I'm having with Levi and the moment isn't going to well either.

-__________-;;

I'll probably post it later.

>___>

Sorry for my long post of rambling about nonsense, and if you have read it all...comment..

.________.

(wow I sound whiney)

-Ashleigh <3
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Saturday, June 10, 2006

   Hmmmm....
Welllll......I started this account on fanfiction.net and I think I might start to post some of my fanfictions on them...
=w=
They will mostly be about rikuxsora yaoi-ness....
*drools*
Well I think some of my friends here like yaoi.
Right? .____.

I also might post some of my other random fanfictions on there too. So when I do get the time to do that I'll post teh link here so you guys can check it out and stuff.
(and remember....if I do this in the future and you review on one of my fics...please tell me that you are from otaku and stuff with your otaku name and I swear I'll thank you greatly for reviewing! ^_____^)

I'm also feeling a bit stupid at the moment seeing as though I have forgotten how to make the background transparent while you scroll up and down and you only see the background picture.... -______-;;

Oh oh oh! And i saw the movie Over the Hedge today!
(well yesterday since it's 1:47am right now)
It was AWESOME! O_________O
Me and my sister were the loudest ones in there because we were laughing so hard XD

Another thought...I'm thinking about posting some of my art.
I'm not quite sure about it cause I still think I kind of suck at drawing...even though I have been hard-working at it for about 4 years now ...
;;>_>

I've gotten around to commenting some of your pages! o.o
I feel so happy [':
I'm finally getting into a routine again.

I luff you guys so much ^___^

<3 Ashleigh`
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Tuesday, June 6, 2006

   xDDD
Today is 6-6-06.
The world is going to end!
xD
No. Just that The Omen is out today and I can't go and see it.
]:
Looks like a good movie ^___^
Uhm I'm sorry I haven't been updating lately.
I've had a lot of stuff going on lately with home life, and doctors appiontments everywhere.
x___x
It gets to me along with meds I have to take and other things with close friends.
I hope you all haven't been like thinking i'm dead or something.
I just ahven't gotten around to commenting that often.
I'll get on it though!
See ya later,
<3 Ashleigh
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Monday, May 29, 2006

   Geh-Blah
Today was kinda...angsty.... >_<
I haven't talked to one of my best guy friends in a while and today I talked to him.
He had been camping and he left the day of his birthday...so I didn't get to tell him happy birthday.
I left him a voicemail with me singing (yesh you love it xD) and he said he didn't get it.
=(
All I did on the phone with him was listen to him talk to his videogame and I rarely made any comments...I wanted to say a lot more but I couldn't bring myself to say it.
(yes I am in love with this guy even though he is 3 years older than me and lives about two states over from me *cough cough* ;;>_>)
So tonight I got up to courage to call him AGAIN but he didn't answer.I think he was still asleep.
xD
But still....
Then I got bored on the computer and remembered that I haven't been on otaku in FOREVER!
^_____^
So here I am once again.
In the flesh.
Kinda.
This is all for now.
Byee` <3
-Ashleigh
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