Sunday, June 11, 2006

   *sigh*
Hmmmmm...I keep yawning and stretching xD
I dunno why.Does anyone know a good anime gif site or something because I'm not getting any good results on google at the moment.
-______-;;

So I have this friend named Ashley who I met over the internet a while ago.I met her boyfriend last year about a month after they started to go out.We were friends for a long time, we had lotsa conversations ands tuff and then he stopped talking because he got depressed and stuff about somethin her still doesn't want to tell me about and probably never will.

He met his g/f Ashley over the internet too.She's a really nice person but she is always depressed (like me -___-) and has a bad life at home in canada.
She is one of my best friends.She's so awesome. Then okay her b/f Levi (my friend also I think)
and me started to talk a lot and stuff and she never knew about it. Nor that I called him before on the phone. He really didn't mention her a lot anymore.Because he used to when they first started going out.

I seriously was falling in love with this guy.And he seemed to know it but he never told me.I mean I told myself I should stop right there cause he has a girlfriend. But I didn't.
Then bunches of fights happened and I always ended up feeling shitty and it felt like everything was my fault. I mean he wouldn't talk!

I tried to get him to talk because it was scaring me...but it just ended up in fights that I seemed to provoke. It was the only way he would talk.
Then his Ashley got involved and me and her started talking about stuff and started to become really good friends. Even though all the bad shit I heard about him I still didn't feel differently about him. For the longest time he was affecting my stae of mind and feelings everyday.

Then things went deeper to the point of no talking whatsoever for a week at a time and then through all the stuff I put together..he was leading me on even though he had a girlfriend.I confronted him because when me and Ashley talked about it, we started getting suicidal.
I called him one night after stupid conversations with his friend on the internet and I woke him up. I started talking and asked him to choose me or his girlfriend and he told me coldy over the phone that it was ovbiously his girlfriend and not me. Just cause she was going to see him for a week.

D':<

So after that phonecall I was left to lay in my bed and cry myself to sleep for the umpteenth time that week.

-________-;;

Then Ashley went to see him and blah blah blah, barely got to talk to her when she was online cause he kept kissing her.

>_______<

I bet they are so happy together without me nagging and tagging along.

I hope that they fucking realize how much it has torn me apart to try and try and get nowhere and be thrown out like I'm nothing.
And the conversation I'm having with Levi and the moment isn't going to well either.

-__________-;;

I'll probably post it later.

>___>

Sorry for my long post of rambling about nonsense, and if you have read it all...comment..

.________.

(wow I sound whiney)

-Ashleigh <3
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