iv been thinking about everything for too long i just start thinking about nothing. the thoughts are all there, but my mind just stops. i guess that's a good thing. i don't worry as much.
i cleaned my room all day while watching HGTV.
that's basically it. nothing special, never is. i havnt done anything this summer and i really don't care. iv been to only one of my friends' houses. its like no1 else wants me. i don't blame them at the moment.
things don't seem to be going well even though they're ok. probably b/c i know what's going to happen..
u probably didn't like my post. u probably don't like my life. i don't either.
"i wrote this song about giving in to doing things that you know aren't right, and feeling hatred and disgust towards yourself afterwards. to me, when this happens, it feels like i -- as a spiritual being -- vanished, and my body took over on a rampage, sucking the life out of everything. in those moments, i've felt blind and senseless, and any deep thoughts, emotions or even attempts to create art were nullified. there was a period in my life where everyone looked like soulless bodies in a state of confussion, just looking to reproduce & die. i'd get tangled up in that state, and the next morning, i would feel extreme amounts of shame." - sonny moore [AP mag]
my mom and i were planning on going to the mall 2maro until my Aunt Jackie called.. i didnt wanna go anyways b/c my mom always gets into an aguement w/ me there. this time i doubted it tho b/c she hasnt been as stressed. ...my family has problems. it's mostly in the past but it still affects our lives. even mine who wasnt born b4 most of it. i dont even wanna talk about this.. i'll just shut up
i got spacers on friday. i couldnt chew right for 2 days. they said to use advil or tylenol or w/e pain reliever u take if i want. but i didnt.
i ran outta books to read. i finished Burned by Ellen Hopkins. sad story.
im already starting to think about x-mas _-_ like what i want and if we're putting the tree up this year. we didnt last year. it doesnt matter anymore anyways.
Christmas List: Nintendo Wii, Super Paper Mario, camera. thats all. my mom was relieved when i told her i didnt want much.
i didnt do anything 2day. i was gonna clean my room but didnt get around to it. i will 2maro. iv been putting it off way 2 long again.
u probably have done something b4 that u regret. and every time u think about it u say to urself how stupid u r. u wood probably think that ur life is ruined if it seems that bad..
but what if it really is that bad?
i had ta wake up at 6:30 to go to an ortho appointment. im getting braces soon. its going ta cost $1000 more than what my parents saved 4 em b/c of prices going up so much. the ppl there said i have a class 3 which means my lower jaw is growing faster than my upper. and if braces cant help it that much i myt havta get surgery after i fully grow. great.. more money -_-'
i finally finished sorting out clothes 2day. a while ago my mom used ta have a friend and his daughter was going ta college. so they let us take any of her old clothes. we're taking most of them to salvation army tho. thats where they were gonna go if we didnt take em but i dont really wanna talk about that day. it was really frustrating. anyways, i still need ta get rid of all my old clothes. so thats what im probably gonna b doing if im not 2 tired.
i finished another book a few days ago. its called Smack. its about these two 14 yr olds who ran away in the 1980's and later on got addicted to heroin. its a really good book and u get to read every charaters' POV. im still thinking about how easy it was to shoplift in Europe back then lol u could just walk out w/ stuff sometimes.
im probably boring u. oh well, deal w/ it. if i was then its ur fault ya read this. thats all i feel like putting up here so ima go
ok. i got sick of my last layout being up 4 so long i just didnt care wut i put on here. its simple and i like it.
my internet kept being an asshole 2day. it wood disconnect then connect again when i wuz about ta click on something or think about doing something. kinda like the power going out every time u touch a light switch. or something like that. i finally gave up and played guitar on my porch for an hour or so. it wuz 10:00 when i got back in. my internet wuz still being stupid. everything seems to be ok now
i could just say it's boredom but that wood b a lie. iv been getting restless more often. i dont know y im telling ppl this if i already know the cause. i guess it's b/c i hate wut i type here almost all the time. "new layout" ... "how r u?" ... "sorry i havnt posted" ... "im bored". yeah that's pretty much it. so im telling ppl wut i wanna get out. or the surface of it. cuz it bugs me that i cant. im probably gonna go insane if i cant calm down. iv been controlling it better but just watch somethin happen to me.
my mom's stressed about our house. we're planning on getting a smaller house in about a year or two. just looking at the houses to choose from makes her upset. also this house has some problems that need fixed. she says we're putting the house together just to sell it. she's really not doing ok about it all. i wuz looking thru the house magazine and i found one that wuz only $115,000 but it wuz in Masontown. and that wood b outta the school district. the houses in the school district cost more of course. it looked like a really nice house 2
band camp starts in a month. im glad even tho i havta get up early. i luv band. it's important to me. just about the only thing i havnt lost interest in besides video games
its 1:37 ryt now. i guess i really took my time typing this up. i think im gonna go and put the links on here and try ta find a pic for an avatar. cya Comments (4) |
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hello ppl that actually come here. i know i havnt posted but idc. im posting now rnt i? yesterday my mom's side of my family (except my Aunt Jackie) went to the cemetary. my Auntie Rose picked out sum really nice flowers. afterwards we all went bowling w/ my aunt's friends Kim and Craig. it wuz fun. i hurt my wrist and elbow tho sumhow. i sucked at the beginning but my highest score wuz 112 (the game i won ^_^) i know, im not that good. 2day im going to my dad's. my friend jessica is having a cook out that i wuznt invited to. but i know my dad misses me and im glad i get to c him. 2maro after i come back im going to elisha's cook out. we can swim but idk if im gonna even tho every1 else probably is of course *shrugz* anyways, on tuesday the band and choir r going to Kennywood. im probably gonna have a good time. we used ta leave the skool after 1st period but this year we havta leave after FORTH period cuz of the board saying it wuznt educational if we left earlier -_- on thrusday we're having the 8th grade dance. im probably going but not dressing up. its $15 admission this time and we dont havta pay for food. the money's going to our picnic at Marilla on Friday and all this other stuff. so im not mad that we havta pay $15. how else r they gonna get the extra money? iv decided that im gonna pay 4 my own ticket cuz its ME that wants ta go, not my mom. idk if im going to Marilla. i just dont feel like swimming any ^^' wow i think this is 1 of my longest posts. well im gonna go.
hello ^^ i feel better than i did b4 lunch. i think it wuz the turkey we had lol xD i luv turkey and gravy, even cold. sorry i havnt been posting. i didnt feel like it. no point really ..and im being negative again _-_ shoot me. anywayz, i dont have that much hw 2day. i didnt have spanish class 2day cuz of smoke in the library. so we had a fire drill and had to stand outside for 45 minutes. it wuz ok tho since i gotta talk to my friends. the teachers didnt care after a while. and it wuznt cold outside ^_^ on saturday my neighborhood's having a yard sale. my mom has had to have 1 but of course nvr had the time to. but now we have to. my dad myt sell the pool table. i'll miss it. A LOT. i hope he doesnt but we probably have to sooner or later. and he already put it in the bulletin thing 4 sale. so idk. anywayz i think thats all i want to talk about. bye
hi. i wuz sick last nyt and this morning. i almost didnt go to skool. my balance wuz off and i threw up my breakfast _-_ it wuz from stress. im terrified of chemistry in high skool (plz dont ask y)
i think i got my schedule almost figured out. health kept messing it up but the guidance councler (i can nvr spell that word -.-) said that i myt b able to take it later. who knows
hey. sorry i havnt posted in a while. just didnt feel like it. anywayz, we have been working on schedules 4 high skool next year. i wanna go into computer programming. my schedule's filled up tho so i'll havta wait till 10th grade to take web page publishing ..i wuz in a good mood yesterday but i think its gone now. sumthing's been on my mind 4 the whole day. i also read this poem thing i typed a really long time ago. i guess that made me a little out of it 2day. i think im gonna go now. bye
i actually had a good day 2day. yay!!! ^^'' *all sweaty >.< ew* i just walked to deandra's and back so i could give her some spaghetti xD she's been craving spaghetti for 2 days now lmao and her mom woodnt let her come over to my house T.T lol and i got sum black cherry soda while i was up there =D whoo! anywayz, 2day wuz picture day ~.~ i heard that about 6 or 7 ppl got sent to the office b/c the picture takers got mad if u woodnt pose ryt _-_ stupid adults.. well ima go now. i gotta get started on my hw b4 my mom gets home =) bye!
2day wuznt a good day. im suprised my voice haznt changed from all that screaming that i just did ta get my anger out. no.. actually im not suprised. effing english teacher. i can c how she got wut she wuz saying. she just didnt know where i wuz coming from.. i hate arguing and i HATE screaming.. i said sorry to my cat afterwards... i dont think my jaw pain will go away 4 a while ..dammit
