Thursday, January 25, 2007

Give me a knife
I don't need a reason
Give me a razor
I don't need a reason

Now I will use my lighter
I don't need a reason
Now I will strike a match
I don't need a reason

If it stings so what pain can be my thrill
My only will is to kill
I'll murder myself just wait and see
I know inside suicide is for me

See there was a time I didn't want to die
And nothings changed but death seems so peaceful now
When I look in the mirror I stand face to face with my killer

So I try to run away
But I can't escape myself
I hunt myself down with cuts and burns
And I'm a prisoner to the world
Locked up in my own cage

So quick slashes with the blade
I need this pain to fade away
Your better off not asking why
All you need to know is I don't need a reason when
It hurts this bad
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Thursday, January 4, 2007

You scored as Paganism. Your beliefs are most closely aligned with those of paganism, Wicca, or a similar earth-based religion. You may also follow a Native American religion. Paganism 88% Satanism 71% Buddhism 67% Hinduism 67% agnosticism 63% Judaism 63% Islam 46% atheism 46% Christianity 38% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com

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Thursday, December 21, 2006

-"Strength is no more than how well you hide your pain."-
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Saturday, December 16, 2006

she is

out of her fucking mind

i am

out of MY fucking mind

I cannot stand this anymore

and... everytime I say that, I never do a damn thing about it.

Because I am so lost...
so lost because of her.

life is an eternal hell.

nothing makes sense, and no one can make any sense out of me.

I am not normal enough for them.

I am not nice enough for them.

I am not enough of anything at all for them.

To them I am nothing.

To them I am nothing.

I don't know where to go.

It would be so easy to disappear, if one never existed.
But it is sohard to kill what YOU know exists.

Does anything matter?
Does anything in life raelly mattter?
Does it matter how you look, and what you know?
Does it matter what you have and where you live?
Does it even matter how you live?

nothing maters at all....

all that does is happiness....
happiness is only a temporary emotion in a life of misery.

You can still be happy, because thats all you have to live for.

I don't care about all of these fancy shiny things. All of these nice conveniant things.

I would trade them ALL for a minute of sanity away from you.
I would give up everything to escape this hell.
I would sell my soul to get away from you.
I would do anything to be happy for just one minute.

On the outside, it is so simple to everyone.
They do not see anything wrong.
They do not see anything at all.
They see a false image, illusory... it does not exist, but only in their minds.
only to show them everything is allright

If only they could hear all of the silent screams.
If only they could see the tortured soul and the maimed spirit.
If only they could see the vicious, selfish hatred
If only they could see all of the pain and frustration
If only they could, then maybe they could forgive me.
Then maybe they could understand me.
Then maybe they might not hate me.
Then maybe they just might see...

But they cannot, they are blind in every way possible.
They will never see, because they will never be able to.
They live happy, and I live... gone.
Out of my mind...
Out of my fucking mind.
Because they've got me trapped, they all do.
Because no one will notice what's really going on inside.

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Tuesday, September 5, 2006

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Monday, September 4, 2006

Respondent reverie floating through my mind
I had lost it, lost it all
My nerve, my temper, flaring
Enraged... outraged.. irate by this injustice
the stress took over my body in convulsions
And I gave into anger
The violent outbursts only to target
the misfortunate inanimate objects strewn across the room
Immediately I sought out the jar in my periphery
Grasping it's cold, lifeless existence
my muscles tightened, and andrenaline rushed
the growling of hatred and contempt within my body,
provoked me only that much more
as i flung it, i felt it's coldness leave my hand at the tips of my fingers
smashing against the wall, it shattered instantly
Like some sort of celestial snowfall of glass and tiny pieces of paper,
flying everywhere, all around me
And I stopped dead in my tracks
every bit of rage and anger
abandoned my body instantly
no catharsis existed around me
i stood there with the poignant realization of everything about the jar
the little pieces of paper scattered throughout the room,
like little pieces of my heart,
scattered across time, never to be returned.
the attestation of the truth flew through my mind
it was time to let go
completely
all the rage and anger
products of a broken heart, embittered
an unloved soul, gone too long
it was time to let go
These letter were now meaningless
their presence only injured my delicate heartstrings
surrounded by these little pieces of my heart
I felt free to not need them anymore
grasping each one in my hands, i ripped, and ripped up those little pieces of my heart
like tissue paper I shredded them into nothing
and I slowly let go
I watched them burn in the fire,
The pieces of my heart like a phoenix in the ashes
It was all over, no more had i anything to anguish
silent reverie burning in the night as my torment went up in smoke
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Wednesday, August 2, 2006

There is no denying
Truth can leave you crying
When you've never loved before.
I hope you're never leaving
Because wishes are deceiving
And crying only hurts us more.

So fall asleep
I'll always be in love with you.
And forever know
You're always in my dreams.

(here we go)
You never loved me like you said you did.

Night fades into day
My dreams are where you stay
Can we ever really get it right?
I'm not going to say it
Because I don't want to hear
How it's never really worth the fight.

Sing to sleep
I'll always be in love with you.
And forever know
You're always in my dreams.
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Friday, July 28, 2006

"The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?"

best quote ever
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I've watched you change
Into a fly
I looked away
You were on fire
I watched a change
In you
It's like you never
Had wings
Now you feel
So Alive
I've watched you change
I took you home
Set you on the glass
I pulled off your wings
Then I laughed
I watched a change
In you
It's like you never
Had wings
Now you feel
So alive
I've watched you change
It's like you never
Had wings ahhh ahh ahhh
I look at the cross
Then I look away
Give you the gun
Blow me away
I've watched a change
In you
It's like you never
Had wings
Now you feel
So Alive
I've watched you change.
Now you feel Alive
You Feel Alive
I've watched you change
It's like you never
Had wings ahhh ahh ahhh

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Monday, April 10, 2006

  


play rugby!
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