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• 1990-05-23
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• Female
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Member Since
• 2003-08-06
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• ^-~

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Achievements
• mmmm I play guitar... not much else to say
Anime Fan Since
• just about forever
Favorite Anime
• Inu Yasha, Cowboy BeBop, Yu Yu Hakusho, Wolf's Rain, Rurouni Kenshin, dot Hack, Trigun, R.O.D., Naruto, Outlaw Star, Tenchi Muyo, G-Gundam, Gundam Seed, Gundam 0089, FLCL, Pilot Candidate... and so many more new ones featured on [AS]
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• Got to college in Japan and Colorado, and hopefully live in either one of those places, but mainly just to get the hell out of this town ^-~
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• Watching anime, reading manga, buying anime and manga, and listening to music...
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• playing guitar, photography, flanker in rugby, and the best of them all: sleeping for hours on end




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myOtaku.com: Koga


Saturday, December 16, 2006

she is

out of her fucking mind

i am

out of MY fucking mind

I cannot stand this anymore

and... everytime I say that, I never do a damn thing about it.

Because I am so lost...
so lost because of her.

life is an eternal hell.

nothing makes sense, and no one can make any sense out of me.

I am not normal enough for them.

I am not nice enough for them.

I am not enough of anything at all for them.

To them I am nothing.

To them I am nothing.

I don't know where to go.

It would be so easy to disappear, if one never existed.
But it is sohard to kill what YOU know exists.

Does anything matter?
Does anything in life raelly mattter?
Does it matter how you look, and what you know?
Does it matter what you have and where you live?
Does it even matter how you live?

nothing maters at all....

all that does is happiness....
happiness is only a temporary emotion in a life of misery.

You can still be happy, because thats all you have to live for.

I don't care about all of these fancy shiny things. All of these nice conveniant things.

I would trade them ALL for a minute of sanity away from you.
I would give up everything to escape this hell.
I would sell my soul to get away from you.
I would do anything to be happy for just one minute.

On the outside, it is so simple to everyone.
They do not see anything wrong.
They do not see anything at all.
They see a false image, illusory... it does not exist, but only in their minds.
only to show them everything is allright

If only they could hear all of the silent screams.
If only they could see the tortured soul and the maimed spirit.
If only they could see the vicious, selfish hatred
If only they could see all of the pain and frustration
If only they could, then maybe they could forgive me.
Then maybe they could understand me.
Then maybe they might not hate me.
Then maybe they just might see...

But they cannot, they are blind in every way possible.
They will never see, because they will never be able to.
They live happy, and I live... gone.
Out of my mind...
Out of my fucking mind.
Because they've got me trapped, they all do.
Because no one will notice what's really going on inside.
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