Saturday, September 6, 2003

   Britney Spears
So Britney Spears and Madonna kiss on-stage. So much for true creativity. Damn. But tune in next week as Justin Timberlake and Joe Millionaire call a press conference to fluff each other on the site of what used to be the World Trade Center. Pre-order this pay-per-view event now.

Don't get me wrong. I don't want the world to be one, big 1950s sock-hop. I'm just starving for originality.

God?... Check, please.



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   Rants
Every day all I read, all I see, is the war on America. Has any nation declared war on this most immoral of countries? Yet they invade and destroy nations at their will. And everyone is so quick to believe what they are fed. CNN and other americans news reportings have been denounced and are no longer recognised as credible journalism. Yet they still have watchers.

I am sick of hearing of all this corruption. I am sick of knowing children are dying because we need all the food for our own damn selves. I am sick of hearing that a treatment for HIV/AIDS infected people has been created, but won't be distributed to those who need it the most: only those who can afford it. I am sick of hearing about the illegal, unethical and unsanctioned occupation of Iraq... where are the weapons of mass destruction? I am sick of knowing that no matter what atrocties are being commited, no one gives a damn. We are all content to eat our fatty foods and blame the food industry, content to shop for crap we don't need and complain about bills, content to complain we don't have material wants when we don't appreciate that our needs are being met. I am sick of it all
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   kourei!! nanitozo rita-n!!!

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   WARNING
I hate Spam, and no I don't mean the canned kind found down aisle six of your local supermarket, I mean the junk e-mailers who send almost 40% of all e-mail traffic today on the internet.
So please, if you email me, don't spam!!!!!
I'm bored so, I'm going to keep typing. I'm sitting here with my lil brother, and I am so bored. I might try to add some of my poetry on here, so bear with my sad attempts at writing skills. No laughing!
Kohana
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   mad writing
I hate you because...my reasoning (also about an ex)
I hate you so much...I hate the fact that you can make me like you in one little instant...I hate the fact that you can make me like you period...I hate the fact that you can lean in so close to me and yet feel nothing...I hate the fact that you lean in so close to me...wait I like that...I hate the fact that you can feel nothing...I hate the fact that when you do lean in close my heart flutters...I hate the fact that you CAN make my heart flutter...I hate the fact that you almost kill me every time I get in your car...I hate the fact that I still do get in your car even though you almost kill me every time I’m in there...I hate the fact that you’re all I can think about...I hate the fact that you’re so gosh darn cute...I hate the fact that I can sit here and ramble on about how I hate you and he goes on with everyday life...I hate the fact that you can go on with everyday life...I hate it that you don’t love me...I hate it that I love you...I hate it that you feel the same way about things as I do...I hate it that we both have the same problems...I hate it that I can come up with these reason on why I hate you...I hate it that you confuse me...I hate it that you have no clue I feel this way about you...I hate you because if you knew you'd stop talking to me...I hate you because I want you to be with me all the time...I hate you because you make me feel like this...I hate it that you defines the word crush for me crush as in hurting me...I hate it that I have a crush on you...I hate it that you don't have a crush on me...I hate it that you have to be nice to everyone no matter what...I hate it that you are nice to everyone...I hate you because everyone else loves you too...I hate you because you’re so sexy...I hate you because you make me feel good...I hate you because I give you cool stuff...I hate you because I don't realize what I’m giving you at the time...I hate you because I can think of another hundred reasons why I hate you...I hate you because I can think of all these reason and still love you...


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   ANOTHER!
Confused Love
I'm so confused
which feelings are true?
I think I love him but I know I love you
I feel sick to my stomach and light in the head
Why am I being so mislead?
I want to love him but I can't let you go
I don't want to go through this anymore!
Why can't I choose?
It's too hard to decide
I really love you but I like him too
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   another poem
Invisible
Is what I am
To you
And that's all that counts
It's all that
Ever mattered
No amount of make up
Or hours spent
Doing my hair
Will make you notice
No clothes
No matter how tight
Or tiny
Will make you see
But maybe
Maybe
A large amount
Of blood
Will

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   A poem (one of many)
Im serious
I love you
Im furious
I hate you
I want you
And I want you
To go away
No please stay
Hug me
Love me
Why do you hurt me?
You make me feel so god damn dirty
I want all this
To pass to you
I want you to know
The things you do
They make me crazy
With love and hate
You’re such a jackass
Why do I think you’re so great?
Half the time I want you to die
The other half I want you to lie
Next to me
Let me feel

You against me
I love you so
I wish you understood
I wish you could know
What you do to me
If only you could see
The way you make me hurt
I’m sure you’d stop
You’d pick me up out of the dirt
You’d catch me if I fell
You know that Id tell
You everything I know
Just because your so
I don’t know the word
I love you
I hate you
Its so much more
Than you could ever know
I hope someday you know.


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Thursday, September 4, 2003

   Rambling
Okay, so in my first 2 weeks of Sophmore year, I've observed many many things at our high school. It is so much different from our freshman building, I mean, upperclass men, Bigger building, more class choices, diversity, and opportunities. I'm noticing who is cool, what it takes to be popular, and the pros and cons of each. Changing myself, i've decided, isn't the way to go. I've never put on a front before and I'm not now. If the seniors and juniors don't like me as I am, that's their problem.
Another thing I've been thinking about lately is religion. No, not religion...beliefs. What do I believe? I mean, I consider myself a christian, but I also agree with some concepts of wicca. Does that make me not christian, or a sinner? Does believing in vampyres, powers, and mind technology make me a freak? Does my listening to alt. make me odd? I don't think so, but according to my peers, i am, for they are the all powerful gods of my universe. not. I don't know. But I'll stop rambling for now, and let you chill. :)
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   Band!!
Well, tomorrow is our school marching bands first football game. I am excited, but nervous too. Our football team is undefeated so far, and we aren't just doing pre-game; we're doing our entire show (Styx). Hundreds of people are going to be looking at us, watching our every move. I've never done anything in front of this many people before~Scared~ But it'll be great.
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