Mood: Depressed
Hi. Sorry, that's all I've got for today, I'm really over extremly depressed...and once again I am to the point were I am about to delete my account again. Perhaps it's my way of punishing myself, or part of my personal depression? Some one, help me! Stop me?
This is partially why I am so upset:
As I have made clear, I do not like my "father" one bit, he is a dirty cheater, and seeing his face makes me sick, though thank goodness, I hardly ever see his face. He bought me my labtop (not the one I am using right now) for Christmas, as I would call it, "to buy me". I think he knows I don't like him, so he try's to buy me stuff to "earn me". Unlucky for him, I don't except most of te gifts, and I don't, nor will I ever show him anything. Respect, nor even pitty. Last night, he unnexpectedly appeared at our house, (as he had taken my labtop away foour weeks ago to "scan it for viruses"). He sat down and gave me this huge lecture on that I was giving out our address and phone number and stuff on this website. I am not, though I said that to him calmly, because he does phisical child abuse, and mainly on me. Then he yelled out "YOU @#$%'N LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" That was it, is scared the crap out of me inside and out, my father, has major problems, he got babtized into my church, only to leave when people found out he was cheating...and this was six or seven years ago. I can't wait for the divorce. I can't take the aggony or pain. Someone make it stop!!!! *crying*
~ I look ahead, to find light, but only do I see shadows.
Overwhelming darkness, I shall try to fight it off.
Though I have control now over my thought's, I have still not won.
Everything and everyone is against me, why is this so?
Should I just give in? No. I must stand up for what is right, even if I am standing alone...
~ -|Koneako|-
This was asked that I do it by my dear friend, TheGrantinator:
"Remember next time you post you ahve to post six random facts about yourself!"
1) I am mormon.
2) I don't want a bf, nor do I want to get married.
3) I don't like most Japanese food. All I can take is mainly oniguri(limmited fillings) sushi makes me sick.
4) I feel alone.
5) I feel uncomfortable all the time.
6) MyOtaku is the only place besides home where I feel safe, and this is the internet we are talking about.
I'm sorry, I changed my site. Maybe I do it so much because I'm focused on something besides crying for once? Or maybe I change it to suit how I feel? I don't know...I am so confused...
Help me. Save me from myself.
~ I'm sorry I'm immature,
I'm sorry I alwase cry,
I'm sorry I can't really tell why.
I cry when I am happy,
I cry more when I'm in pain,
Maybe once again one day...
I can face the rain?
-|Koneako|-
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