Sunday, March 30, 2008

>.> Well.
Im just so happy right now. Cant you tell? -_-
But, I suppose I brought it on myself.
Kenni called Thursday, and we finally got ahold of Grant. *cheers* And anything I post in this is just how I felt, nothing meant to be personally rude.

-I kinda felt used. Like, Kenni could have cared less that I was there, point was he had Grant on the phone. I know thats probably not the case, ^^; And its just my stuborness. Im such an idiot really.
I bet half of that, was because I wasnt talking too much, but then thats because I felt uncomfortable and not wanted. lol So I dunno!
So, I found it interesting that when Grant had to go, Kenni did too...and he said it was cause his mother had been calling him for awhile for dinner, well-- when we were on the phone preveious Saturday, first time she called, he was off that phone, its like he went out of his way for Grant. (Its probably all in my head)So when he said bye, I...was rude, adn said "whatever" but you know how you are sometimes not caucious of what you are exactly saying? Point is, it was wrong and I upset him. Im an idiot like that. I really am.

Then, Friday night, I spent the night at my friend Kirstin's house. (The one from Okinawa)
It was okay...untill I decided to call Grant, cause one of my friends was being ompletely rude to him! O_o Then they got into a sorta, fight, and then he said something ^^; Which made that friends older sister mad, and then he hung up. So~~~ Then I was crying my eyes out for a good 45 minutes, and called him back. XD This is where it got gay though. Grant's friends brother got on the phone, and started talking rally perverted, and nasty and crap, and I didnt know it wasnt Grant. ^^; So then I got all mad at him for no reason and stuff.
He called back that night, and I thought we had it all sorted out, though I didnt tell him what was exactly said. (Oh come on. Im 13, I didnt need to hear that stuff)
I though we got over it, but I guess Grant is still mad at me.
But I was just rally uncomfortable with the situation, and felt that I needed to walk away from it at that moment.

I think I'll beable to get things straightend out with Grant. He's resonable and stuff- plus it was a misunderstanding.
But when I try and to appologize to Kenni, well, when he's mad he ignores...so it doesnt help settle the problem. I dont know what to do...Being persistant doesnt help...

And whats worse. Is that, even when Im mad at someone. No matter how mad, I cant stop talking to them, even thuogh I mad or whatever. I alwase have to be the one appologizing, I alwase have to be the one sucking up.
Even when Im the one hurt, I have to be the good person.

Well. O,o there we go. I vented, I hope if you two (Kenni and Grant) read this, you can understand that I really am sorry. I need to take a chill pill....
But, I guess sorry doesnt make things better, huh?