Sunday, May 18, 2008

>.<

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*ruffles hair*
I feel so stressed out!
*flops self on floor*

I have this gigantic science project that the fat old science teacher only gave us two weeks do anyway, presentation and all! And mine is do next Tuesday! If I fail this, well. I get my fisrt F and that F doesnt stand for just failing science. It stands for failing the 7th grade.

Gass prices are off the chart. And so is food now. I dont see how people think we are going to beable to keep up and afford this either! Its absolutely rediculous!

I feel like I have no friends. 0. Squat. Nothing.
I dont even feel recognized or loved by anyone.
I have no one to talk to. And Im still known as the "Japanese Bitch" at my school just because Im so obsessed. But now, I just set in the corner of classes and write FanFic, draw (it's more like scribbling now adays) or read.
I suppose though Im getting somewhere more with a wide spread of books now. Stephenie Meyer has a new book called "The Host" and that should tie me over for a month. At least until the 4th book of the "Twilight" series comes out. What will it be called again?

Montel Williams stopped his shows Friday. That upset me, because he really influences me.
I'll never forget on one show- a girl asked him; "If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?"
He answered immediately:
"Nothing because I love who I am right now."
He could have answered that he would get rid of that one disease that will eventually ruin his life completely. More than my little Diabetes has mine; He could have said
"Get rid of my Multiple Sclerosis"
But he didnt. He didn't even let it cross his mind. Because he doesnt think of how terrible his life. Or how much his disease SUCKS.
He doesnt letis life every second of every minute of every hour of every day, week, month, year!
And eventually. Neither will I.

I walk around though. Feeling absolutely horrible but Im gonna act like Im fantastic! Because if I act like I am. Hey, eventually Im gonna be. Because really.
I can be the most depressed person on the planet!
But then I can be the happiest person too!
Sometimes I feel comepletely alone.
And sometimes I can think "Ive got JayJay and Chance and Sareena!" and like, thinking just that. I get so happy! Like Im even smiling now.

Im thinking about one day; just completely dissapearing from hear. And all contact.
I wonder who would really actually miss me. And who would be like whoopie fliipn do. It was just that one girl.
I think I will one day. One day soon too.
This sounds really bad...but.

Decide if you really want me or not.

'Cause I might not be there next time you do want me.


Comments (0)