Sunday, June 10, 2007

I had a nice weekend for most of it.
I got to go to Ed-chan's last night and Gothy-chan was there too and it was a lot of fun! Ed-chan's sister and her friend had some shake-n-bake night and the red velvet cake they made was very good, but really filling. ANDAND we watched POTC 1 and some of POTC 2. And of course - TWISTER. My legs hurt awhile afterwards. XD But yeah it was fun. And today I went swimming but it was icy....very icy. >< hope you guys had a great day! only a little while left....yay!
~Koo
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Saturday, June 9, 2007

I talked to my parents
Today my friends were worried about the scars, even though they weren't very deep..so, after several threats, hugs, and suspicious moments, I told them I would try my hardest ever not to do it. I showed them to my mom later and she was like, ok why did you do that? my jaw nearly hit the floor. I was sad, and she obviously hasn't been noticing, but maybe she has and just hasn't said anything...I told her about how I felt, and, well my friend Brittany actually suggested it to me earlier, but I asked if maybe we could talk to my dad about me staying with my grandparents during part of the summer. She thought that would be okay, and she told me she knew that I my brother shouldn't hit me,and they ned to do a better job of protecting me, and my dad shouldn't say some of the things he does. (I credit my dad's situation with the verbal stuff to an accident he had when I was 2, because he had some brain damage and went to jail, so as he says, his head is all messed up.) I was scared to tell my dad about my arm because the last time he yelled alot at me, but he found out anyway through my mom, and this time he didn't yell. He wasn't too happy about it, but he seemed actually concerned this time. He told me to come talk to him, but I don't really feel comfortable talking to him about it. I kind of have a paranoia about talking to some guys about it. At least adults anyway..for some reason I've had an unexplainable paranoia of adult men, and one or two women...it's really wierd. Anyway, My grandma also said that I could stay! I don't think she was informed of my arm and stuff at home, because she knows there is alot of fighting, but I haven't told her much of what my dad has said in the past. Come to think of it, even my counselor doesn't. Just my mom and my friends. But I really hope I can stay there. It'd help me alot. Add that to going to camp for a few days, and I'll be feeling alot better over the summer. ^^ And thank you for the support you guys. You're all awesome!! *uberhugs*
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Thursday, June 7, 2007

   damn it all...
i'm so angry....my brother and my parents were just....ugh, they were fighting again. And..from what it sounded like...my dad was hitting my brother. I'm so sick of everything, I just wanna...I just wanna fricking take a bunch of pills....I've truly had it. No matter where I go, someone's fighting. I can't take it anymore. If I have to hear one more fight, I think I'm going to snap. My brother especially is just, so mean, what with him hitting me today, and calling me a lying loser today and at the banquet last night. He's always so mean to me, but I probably deserve it. Ever since he was in ,I believe second grade, he's been so abusive. He hasn't been hitting me as much of late, today was the first time in awhile. Sixth grade was probably the worst for me, because I got bruises and had to leave my house, and I'm scared he's going to start it again. Lately it's moreso verbally unkind. It hurts, y'know? I just wanna scream, and cry, and hit him back, and pull my hair out. I'm sick of being hit, and it's sadly rubbed off on me. I jokingly get violent with my friend, and I shouldn't. It's just that, with my brother hitting me and a boy at my schoool hitting me last year, when someone jokes around or playfully hits me, it's an instinct to hit back, as if I'm defending myself, and I really shouldn't. The good news about this is my parents are getting a little better. Last I checked the only time they ever hit me was when they spanked me for being a brat. But what I mean is they aren't as, well , is cold the word? They have said some rude things to me before, and some of you may know what they said. But my dad...I feel like he doesn't understand my sadness. Alot of people don't. They judge you and tell you you don't have depression, it's just a teenage phase, and you don't need meds. This coming from my grandparents and one of my friends. Maybe I am just being selfish and bratty. Someone once told me that I'm whiny and I make things bigger than they really are, and I think i'm miss perfect. Which, I mostly don't, but I've tended to believe that.. And....I nearly cut myself. Or I should say, I tried to, but I didn't break the skin I don't think. And I almost took a bunch of pills too....But I stopped myself. I'm sorry, everyone. I just needed to let it out. I'm sick of everything, and I want to let it all out.
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Wednesday, June 6, 2007

awards banquet
Twas fun going to that tonight. Pretty much. I got to see my friends and all. But something...something just didn't feel right. I mean, I only ate on cookie this year and last year I ate half of the buffet, almost literally! I don't understand myself sometimes. BAH. Oh well, I will get over it. ooh! I got sommin' shiiiny! For being in the York County Music Festival! I've never gotten a shiny music award before. I'm happyyyy. XD And and my group was called the Tecno Club Singers from The South. Not to show off or anything, but...I made it up. >< of course, she wouldn't let us use strip club, so I though up tecno club. yep. Wel, congrats to all that are in chorus/band at my school.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I just have one question, but it has nothing to do with this. Do you think I am self-centered?
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Tuesday, June 5, 2007

   YAY!
Thanks guys, I got over 200 visits!! >< squeeness! *confetti falls* XD

So my day was interesting. A friend of mine asked me out the day after I broke up with my bf and told him I didn't want another one. Take a wild guess at who it was. I said no, but I think it was expected.

Enough about my "love life", we get out of school in *counts on fingers* about 7 or 8 and a half days of school left! Heck yeahz. The promotion dance is next Friday. YAYZ. There's an all school dance thursday night, and I might go. To celebrate and bask in my singleness. XD Then we come back after fridays promotion dance for a half a day. WHY BOTHER GOING AT ALL? Eh. We should be getting our yearbooks soon. Yay for signing yearbooks!!! lol

omg. my friend Kayla sent me an email saying that I should make a wish, and it'll come true in my age number minutes. Then, I had to forward it to someone or else i'd be cursed for life, or some crap like that. (I didn't believe that part) And then, it said when I was done the phone would ring. Guess what? IT RANG. I wonder if it is programmed to the internet or something, because no once called...unless they hung up just as I picked up. frikken creepy...
Well, have a great day everbody!
~Koo
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Monday, June 4, 2007

...
Please don't hate me. T^T I broke up with my boyfriend of seven months today. We didn't have a fight or anything, but I no longer have the feelings I used to have for him. I just like him like a friend now, and I felt it would be unfair to him to be in a relationship where his girlfriend didn't feel the same way as he did. I was terrified. I thought people were going to be mad at me for it, and I don't know if anyone is, but at least he wasn't. He said okay, he understood. I was sad at first, but I am okay now. I just hope we will still be able to be friends. Who knows, maybe we will go out again someday. I know that for the time being, I don't want to have another boyfriend. Not yet. And I think I'll always have a part of me that will love him, because that's what they say about your first love, right? Just please don't be mad at me for it. T^T
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Sunday, June 3, 2007

   The play I saw on Saturday was AWESOME.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT.Saturday night my mom and I went to the high school to see the middle school drama production of The Outsiders, one of my all time favorite books. The drama lady did such a good job adapting the book, or whoever wrote the script they used did..Anyway, she did a great job of directing them in it. They all did such a great job of acting, and some of them REALLY should stick with it! They kept out the part where Dallas is killed, and just mentioned that he had died. but they showed Johnny died and my friend Curtis did pretty well with the death scene. *sigh* I cried, as usual when Johnny and Dallas died....But it got me a couple hugs from the cast members for some reason...lol.
Me: I cried when Johnny died.
Gisele and Curtis: *hugs Koo*
XD lol. At the beginning Gisele and co. peeked at me from behind the curtain cuz there was "conveniently" a hole in the curtain. And for once, there was no one in the front row, and I was in the second, so no tall people were blocking my vision! XD That happens ALL the time. But anyway, the play was ubersuper awesome, and I wish you guys could have seen it if you didn't. ^.^ Hope you guys have a great day!
~Koo
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Saturday, June 2, 2007

mwahah another survey!!!

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Lauren
Birthday:	summertime, baby!!
Birthplace:	somewhere.
Current Location:	somewhere off the coast of Guadolupe
Eye Color:	brown
Hair Color:	nrown
Height:	4'10''
Right Handed or Left Handed:	right
Your Heritage:	erm...a little scottish, I think, a little italian, I think, a little english/british/whatever, I think, and ALL koo. =D
The Shoes You Wore Today:	flip flops
Your Weakness:	oh dear lord, um..probably pain. I guess..-_-
Your Fears:	death (of ANYONE, not just me.)
Your Perfect Pizza:	vegetables
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	go the rest of the year without screaming when I'm poked. - -'
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	lol
Thoughts First Waking Up:	damn it, I missed the bus again..
Your Best Physical Feature:	..I don't have any good ones..D<
Your Bedtime:	whenever I am actually able to fall asleep.
Your Most Missed Memory:	too many to count...
Pepsi or Coke:	coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:	BK makes a better chicken sandwich, IMO, so....BK.
Single or Group Dates:	both are fine.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla:	vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee:	cappucino, it ish closer to hot chocolate than coffee.
Do you Smoke:	no!
Do you Sing:	Love it to death man.
Do you Shower Daily:	uh, why do you want to know?!
Have you Been in Love:	mhm
Do you want to go to College:	yep
Do you want to get Married:	sure
Do you belive in yourself:	sometimes
Do you get Motion Sickness:	" "
Do you think you are Attractive:	no...
Are you a Health Freak:	not too much..
Do you get along with your Parents:	not really....
Do you like Thunderstorms:	heck yeah
Do you play an Instrument:	well, I used to, but not now.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	no.
In the past month have you Smoked:	NO!
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	...
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	*nods*
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	*nods again*
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	*shifty eyes* maybe...
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	nope
In the past month have you been on Stage:	I don't think so..
In the past month have you been Dumped:	that's personal dude. D<
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	*slaps*
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	no.
Ever been Drunk:	NO,DARN IT!
Ever been called a Tease:	yep....
Ever been Beaten up:	well, a boy punched me twice last year, so that's pretty close. he didnt even get in trouble either...
Ever Shoplifted:	sadly, yes...I WAS FIVE OK???
How do you want to Die:	If I live to be old, in my sleep will do nicely.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	I don't really know for sure..
What country would you most like to Visit:	Japan!
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	it's really no matter.
Favourite Hair Color:	it's not all about looks you know.
Short or Long Hair:	not to short, but not too long. *pulls out scissors* Yes, I am talking to YOU Jeff.
Height:	dont matter
Weight:	dont matter
Best Clothing Style:	dont care
Number of Drugs I have taken:	................................................
Number of CDs I own:	I dont know...
Number of Piercings:	just my ears. so 2.
Number of Tattoos:	zipola
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	1. Allowing myself to be in a certain sixth grade class. D< plus I guess there are a few others..
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

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Friday, June 1, 2007

Yay for the committees!
lol Do NOT ask if you do not already know. Anyway, I'm sorry for forgetting to thank you guys for the comments on the slightly not so happy post. So thank yous!! It's alwways great to know people are there for you. ^^ *hugs* I lurv you guys! Have a great weekend everyone! *runs in circle cheering*
~Lauren
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Thursday, May 31, 2007

Squeeeeeeeee!
Guess what?! I got a letter and I get to take accelerated Social Studies and English next year! Woot I'm happy, I didn't think I was that smart lol. They gave us an over the summer assignment, but I can handle it I believe. ;] If I was the same exact person I was in 4th grade I would have been all " aaack I can't dooo it!"
But now I'm all like "BRING IT ON!" lol yeah...Now, it'd make me even happier if they wouldn't call the school Freshman Academy. Tecnically it could just be called the name of the high school, cuz I think the upperclassmen are also going to have classes there. Wierd school board much? >.< Have a great day everyone!
~Koo
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