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• eh?
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• Deja_Koo

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Birthday
• 1993-07-22
Gender
• Female
Location
• somewhere only I know. or do I ? Maybe you know? STOP STALKING ME!!!.....but seriously, I'm in my mind...Kooland.yep.
Member Since
• 2006-10-24
Occupation
• town idiot? no, not quite fitting. um, green team idiot? no,no....ah! The FAMILY idiot. MHM. I'm not putting my self down, just poking fun at me. There ain' nothing wrong with that. Right?...RIGHT?
Real Name
• Lauren but seriously you can call me Koo or Koo-chan instead. Lauren only means laurel bush. Koo means koolaid. and in koo's opinion, koolaid tis better than flowers. *nods*

Personal

Achievements
• hm. Actually getting through singing in the talent show without fainting. ^^ and making the honor roll and stuff.
Anime Fan Since
• eh,5th grade is when i learned what it was called but i have liked it since kindergarten or first grade.
Favorite Anime
• BLEACH!!!Fruits Basket,FullMetal Alchemist,Naruto,D.N.Angel,several others i like.
Goals
• learn how to cook more than just PASTA AND FROZEN DINNERS.and toast. ><
Hobbies
• Figure skating,drawing,singing,writing,internetting(woot).
Talents
• uh...see above.(yesh,internetting.seriously)




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myOtaku.com: Koolaid-chan


Thursday, June 7, 2007

   damn it all...
i'm so angry....my brother and my parents were just....ugh, they were fighting again. And..from what it sounded like...my dad was hitting my brother. I'm so sick of everything, I just wanna...I just wanna fricking take a bunch of pills....I've truly had it. No matter where I go, someone's fighting. I can't take it anymore. If I have to hear one more fight, I think I'm going to snap. My brother especially is just, so mean, what with him hitting me today, and calling me a lying loser today and at the banquet last night. He's always so mean to me, but I probably deserve it. Ever since he was in ,I believe second grade, he's been so abusive. He hasn't been hitting me as much of late, today was the first time in awhile. Sixth grade was probably the worst for me, because I got bruises and had to leave my house, and I'm scared he's going to start it again. Lately it's moreso verbally unkind. It hurts, y'know? I just wanna scream, and cry, and hit him back, and pull my hair out. I'm sick of being hit, and it's sadly rubbed off on me. I jokingly get violent with my friend, and I shouldn't. It's just that, with my brother hitting me and a boy at my schoool hitting me last year, when someone jokes around or playfully hits me, it's an instinct to hit back, as if I'm defending myself, and I really shouldn't. The good news about this is my parents are getting a little better. Last I checked the only time they ever hit me was when they spanked me for being a brat. But what I mean is they aren't as, well , is cold the word? They have said some rude things to me before, and some of you may know what they said. But my dad...I feel like he doesn't understand my sadness. Alot of people don't. They judge you and tell you you don't have depression, it's just a teenage phase, and you don't need meds. This coming from my grandparents and one of my friends. Maybe I am just being selfish and bratty. Someone once told me that I'm whiny and I make things bigger than they really are, and I think i'm miss perfect. Which, I mostly don't, but I've tended to believe that.. And....I nearly cut myself. Or I should say, I tried to, but I didn't break the skin I don't think. And I almost took a bunch of pills too....But I stopped myself. I'm sorry, everyone. I just needed to let it out. I'm sick of everything, and I want to let it all out.
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