Saturday, August 6, 2005

I think I expect too much....

I'll be honest... I'm not having a good time at this con. It's a much much MUCH smaller con than I've been to in a very long time. I've been trying to deal with some light drama, and being extremely tired for some odd reason. Last night, I went to bed at 11pm. Totally missed the dance and all the other stuff I wanted to see at night. But I couldn't stay up. I just passed out, and didn't wake up til 10am.

But I'm just not having any fun right now. For reasons I won't post, but yeah.

I was just in one of the most unorganized DDR tourney's I've EVER seen. I should of just taken it over and been like "ok, this is what we're doing, like it or not bitches", but it's not by business to do that.

Ended up getting pwn'd on Max 300 Light, but I didn't really care. I wasn't doing it to try to win.

I still feel stupid for forgetting my Kankuro shirt... -_-;;;

I'm in the cosplay event later. Gonna go out with style as Strongbad. Hopefully I'll get the same reaction as I did during the Pose Off.


Does anyone really read this?


I know I should just go out there, meet new people, go have my own fun... But I can't. Like I said... I expect too much out of stuff.

I still haven't had my taquitos... -_-;;;


I feel lonely and ignored. =/


And I'm sitting in the hotel room watching the Falcons/Colts football game. XD


I guess that's it for now... I'm not depressed, just upset.
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Friday, August 5, 2005

Well, I'm at O-Chibi. My flight was late cause of all the storms and stuff, but yeah.

Got to the Houston airport, and no sooner than I'm turning the phone on, I'm getting phone calls from Andrew and Tala. XD Gotta love it.

Get my luggage, get a shuttle sent over from the hotel, and yeah. Got to the hotel, started checking in, and I guess they thought I said my name was Chris Patton... XDXD I wish. <<;;;

Get checked in, and yeah. Long night spent with not much sleeping. ^^;;

Today's been alright. Not much to do really. I had Strongbad on for a while, and I bought a The Cheat plushie from the (incredibly crappy) dealer's room, and I basically spent an hour walking around, kicking it.... Not lying...

I would wear my Kankoru costume.... But I forgot the shirt for it at home... -_-;;;

Makes me feel like a total fucking idiot....


Met Tala. <3

And that's aboot it for now. The opening ceremonies are about to start, and I'm watching some ESPN in the room killing time. XD So yeah.. I'm outta here.
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Wednesday, August 3, 2005

(Cross posted on LJ/MO)


Tomorrow!
Tomorrow!
I love ya!
Tomorrow!
You're only
a daaaaaaaaaay
aaaaaaaaaaaaa-
waaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!





Yesterday:
Worked 5-1
Paid some bills, went to pick up the glasses from Target, scheduled a return visit cause they're still wrong (>>;;;;;;), made some homemade chex mix that I'm gonna bring to Texas with me. Need to make more tho for the family since they're bitching about never getting any. Heh.. Then I played some Guild Wars. Did the first 2 missions, and got the last Charr Hides I needed to get the Fur Squares I needed to get the last piece of armor I needed. b^_^

Today
Worked 5-1. Picked up a portable dvd player, some mini-dv tapes, and a cute little something while there. Also checked my credit card balances, so yeah... -_-;;;
Come home, do laundry, start packing.
Head to bank and get money. (money = good)
GW til I go to bed.

Tomorrow
Work 5-10. Maybe earlier if I just don't wanna be there. XD
Get home, load up, then I'm treating my sister to IHOP cause she's nice enough to take me to the airport. ^^;;
Get to Houston, call the hotel to get a shuttle sent over, get my luggage, find the shuttle, get to the hotel, check in, call Tala, meet Tala, then see where things go from there. (nervous? you bet your ass I am.. >>;; more so as the day gets closer ^^;;;)


And that's about it. If I don't update again before I leave, then I'll see you next week when I get back. And hopefully, I'll have some pictures of Tala and I to post up. ^_^
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Monday, August 1, 2005

[Cross posted on my LJ and MO.]


Didn't play much Guild Wars yesterday. Once my sister came in the room with that DVD, it was like... Fuck you Guild Wars. XD Then I spent a lot of time burning it.

So far, I have Tala, Kimba, Kay/Andy, and Neji's copy burnt. I'll get Proz's today or something, then I gotta make some for people at work. Gotta get some more blanks, but that's no biggie.

Tala, were you gonna bring your PS2 to the con so we can watch movies and junk? I know already I'm gonna bring my Kill Bill's, and Red vs Blue with so you can watch those. And now this.. LOL. Or even then, I'm gonna get a portable DVD player so I can be entertained on the plane trip and all, but yeah... That's only a 7 inch screen.. Kinda hard for lots of people to watch. LOL. But anyhow, if you do bring it, remember to bring the AV cables, and an RF switch if you have one, just in case.. Dunno how the TV's are gonna be set up there, so gotta cover the bases. ^^;;

Proz (or anyone really), do you have access to a IIDX 8th Style or 9th Style or Pop'n Music 10? One that can disappear for a month or so and I'd give back at AFest, or long enough for me to burn a copy and mail back to you or something?


So yeah. 3 more days, and I have lots to do. x.x

It's only natural tho that these 3 days are gonna go by ever so slowly.. >>;;; Which this is both very bad and somewhat good.

It's bad because of the obvious factor... Work. Just what I need, for work to seem longer than it actually is.. -_-;; Then there's the sheer amount of waiting and whatnot. The sitting around doing nothing as time creeps by.

But the good is it gives me extra time to get a couple things done. And more time with GW is never a bad thing. ^_~


To anyone that doesn't have it yet, here's my cell number.

224-402-1832

If you call or text me, let me know who you are so I'm not like Wha? Or better yet, text me first, then I'll add you to the contact list. I tend to not answer the phone if it's a number I don't recognize. (tho i'll probably answer any call from the 512 area code. LOL.)

Also know that I'm a text message whore.. XD


Now there's stuff I must do.... WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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Sunday, July 31, 2005

My sister's boyfriend is awesome. He has somehow found the Family Guy movie, and burned me a copy of it.

Yes, you heard right. Family Guy Movie.

Appearently, it's coming out direct to dvd in like 2 months.


I won't ruin the plot, but damn it's funny. XD
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Friday, July 29, 2005

I'm not having the best of days here... =/

It's weird... The only friends I have listed on this journal all live in Texas. On my LJ, I have like 20 friends, and only like 6 of them are from Chicago.

Do I really have no friends left in Chicago? At times, it seems that way. So much wrong has been done, both by me and by others, that there's no way anyone has any respect for me. I'd share the story, but it'd almost seem like a book or something, as long as it is.

So for the most part, I don't get out much. The only times I interact with other people is at work, which I'm in hell most of the time, and when I go to Texas. I'm truely happy when I'm in Texas....there's no denying that. And now I have something else to be happy about.....Tala.

And yet I'm still depressed.

Today, it mostly stems from a comment someone left on my LJ. Someone I thought was my friend. This happens more than I'd like to admit, but oh well.


I know most of the people that read this don't really know me. People either know me from various forums, or Marzgurl's videos, or in some other way. But they read this, and they see how I'm almost always down or depressed or something... You've probably already formed an opinion on me that's not too good....

And my worst fear is that Tala is gonna read all this, think I'm insane or something, and ditch me for someone who lives closer and is more "mentally stable", as someone put it. Which is the last thing in the world I want to happen. I'm crazy about this girl, and I don't want to lose her like that. Yet my paranoia makes me think I will......


Matter over mind.

I need to tell my mind to shut up, and just focus on what I have going for me. Ignore all the fucktards up here, and be happy with what I have. And that's a new group of friends, a girl that I love so much, and more. I need to stop dwelling on the past and recent, and start looking at the present, and future.


For now tho, I need to kill something. To Guild Wars I go! XD
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Can't sleep... >>;;;;

So yeah... Guild Wars is offically better than FFXI, IMO. XD

This time next week, I'll hopefully be sleeping in a bed, with Tala wrapped up in my arms. <3
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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

About Me Personality Quiz
Created by jeffq1985 and taken 84541 times on bzoink!
What is your name?	Kris
How old are you?	24
When is your Birthday?	2/8/81
What is your zodiac sign?	Aquarius
Where were you born?	Austin, TX
Where do you live now?	Elgin, IL
What color eyes do you have?	*gets up and goes to the bathroom to look* Greenish Brown? I dunno...
What color hair do you have?	Brown, with blonde highlights coming soon.
How tall are you?	5' 8''
How much do you weigh? (Be Honest Ladies)	a disgusting 250. -_-
What is your race?	White
What is your worst fear?	Being alone.
Do you smoke?	No.
Do you drink?	Yes.
Do you cuss?	Yes.
Do you use drugs?	No.
Have you ever or will you ever steal?	Have No. Will Dunno.
Are you dependable and/or trustworthy?	Somewhat.
Do you play in a band or play an instrument?	Guitar.
Do you have any tattoos and/or piercings?	No.
If you had a favorite serial killer who would it be?	Manson.
Do you suffer from depression disorder?	Very much so.
If you had a choice about how you wanted to die what would it be?	Quick.
Have you ever tried to commit suicide?	No.
Have you ever purposely caused harm to yourself or someone else?	No.
What subculture do you belong too?	what?
Are you evil?	Yes.
Do you believe that you can be possesed?	No.
Are you a paranoid person?	Yes.
Do you ever get jealous of somebody else?	Yes.
Are you obsessive and/or compulsive?	A little.
Are you a violent person?	A little.
Do you take your anger out on other people?	No.
Do you blame other people for your mistakes?	No.
What is your favorite game?	FFXI, Guild Wars
What is your favorite movie?	Kill Bills, LotR, Star Wars, others.
Who is your favorite band?	System of a Down
What is your favorite song?	too many.
What kind of books and/or magazines do you read?	gaming ones
What is your favorite color?	Blue
What is your favorite food?	Mac N Cheese, Pizza, Hot Pockets.
What is your favorite drink?	Mt. Dew
Do you own a pari of converse?	No.
Do you own a pair of dickies?	No.
Would you ever kill yourself or someone else?	No.
Are you a virgin?	Yes.
Are you kinky?	I dunno.
Do you like biting?	I dunno.
Do you masturbate?	Yes.
Do you watch pornography?	Yes.
Have you ever dyed your hair an unusual color?	Not my fault the red faded to pink.
Have you ever shaved your head in a socially unacceptable way?	No.
Are you hyper active person?	No.
Are you religious?	No.
Do you have any self inflicted scars?	No.
Does pain turn you on?	No.
Do you stand for originality and creativity?	No.
Do you like meeting new people?	No.
What do you like most about life?	I dunno....
What do you dislike most about life?	People.
Do you believe in love at first fright?	Fright? No. Sight, Dunno.
Have you ever pierced a body part yourself?	No.
Have you ever had to beg for dinner money?	No.
Do you own a car?	Yes.
Have you been to jail, yet?	No.
Are your clothes held together with safety pins?	No.
Do you have actual scars from punk rock shows?	No.
Have you ever vomit while making out?	No.
Have you held a job for less than a day?	No.
Do you own more than two pair of jeans?	Yes.
Have you ever had to fuck stuff up for no good reason?	No.
Have you ever been kicked out of your parents house?	No.
Have you ever been fired from your job because of your attitude?	No, but I might be at this rate.
Does the world piss you off?	Yes.
Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink!

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Blah.... I hate being me... =/

Why do I lack the ability to carry a conversation?

I'll be talking, then next thing you know, there's like a 2 hour lasp in the conversation because I can't think of anything to talk about. It makes me feel bad about myself, and makes me think the person I'm talking to is losing interest or something... And like... I know the other person is good at talking, because I hear about them talking a lot to people for long periods of time and stuff... So there's gotta be something wrong with me that's causing this to happen. And as odd as this sounds, it makes me feel inferior and stuff... Like I'm insignificant.

And I'm not just talking about Tala here.


But the general lack of activity with society is what causes my feelings of lonelyness. Even tho I know there's people out there, I don't know what to say to them. I've always had problems making friends, and it continues in my adult life. Actually, it appears to be amplifying... I was NEVER this lonely...


Not to mention the constant feelings of paranoia that make me feel like all this is true... And that I'm totally worthless, and can't compete with all the other guys out there...


Am I a mental case? Probably.



Just once in my life, I want to feel like I belong. Is that too much to ask?

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Tuesday, July 26, 2005

I'm really getting in to Guild Wars. I'm almost Lvl 7, got the set of armor from the collectors, and I have every quest done so far.. LOL. Tomorrow, I'm doing the Searing thingie, then going from there.

Other than that, I'm still feeling lonely. But yeah.

Oh well.
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