Friday, July 29, 2005

I'm not having the best of days here... =/

It's weird... The only friends I have listed on this journal all live in Texas. On my LJ, I have like 20 friends, and only like 6 of them are from Chicago.

Do I really have no friends left in Chicago? At times, it seems that way. So much wrong has been done, both by me and by others, that there's no way anyone has any respect for me. I'd share the story, but it'd almost seem like a book or something, as long as it is.

So for the most part, I don't get out much. The only times I interact with other people is at work, which I'm in hell most of the time, and when I go to Texas. I'm truely happy when I'm in Texas....there's no denying that. And now I have something else to be happy about.....Tala.

And yet I'm still depressed.

Today, it mostly stems from a comment someone left on my LJ. Someone I thought was my friend. This happens more than I'd like to admit, but oh well.


I know most of the people that read this don't really know me. People either know me from various forums, or Marzgurl's videos, or in some other way. But they read this, and they see how I'm almost always down or depressed or something... You've probably already formed an opinion on me that's not too good....

And my worst fear is that Tala is gonna read all this, think I'm insane or something, and ditch me for someone who lives closer and is more "mentally stable", as someone put it. Which is the last thing in the world I want to happen. I'm crazy about this girl, and I don't want to lose her like that. Yet my paranoia makes me think I will......


Matter over mind.

I need to tell my mind to shut up, and just focus on what I have going for me. Ignore all the fucktards up here, and be happy with what I have. And that's a new group of friends, a girl that I love so much, and more. I need to stop dwelling on the past and recent, and start looking at the present, and future.


For now tho, I need to kill something. To Guild Wars I go! XD
Comments (1)