Sunday, July 8, 2007

Thanks everyone ^_^
I'm feeling much less oppressed about the whole thing now. All I had to do was hang out with my friends who know that's not what I am. I haven't confronted my mother on the issue, but I'm sure she'll get the message eventually. She always has to be right and she's going to find out she can't make assumptions about her son - though I'm not sure when.

I'll bet everyone who knows I used to post every day is wondering where I went for the past several days. Well, it was nowhere ^_^. I didn't feel much like posting about my brooding thoughts after you already got the message. I had to get rid of the nasty thoughts by accepting them and denying them altogether. Some of you may see this as "unhealthy" and some of you may not care one way or the other, but at least I'm my contented and happy self again. By the way, overtime and hanging out with friends works really well for forgetting things. I also got to talk to one of them about it - sadly, he's in the same boat but its much tighter and more uncomfortable if you understand the metaphor.

Replies to comments:

A-zak: Thanks so much for the comment. I know there are other people who haven't had girlfriends for longer than I have that aren't gay either, but a real example sure helps a lot ^_^.

Ninja Lover: No, it makes perfect sense. What usually happens is Dad is more protective of the daughter, so he forbid her from having a boyfriend (Dad's are usually way more protective). Mom usually wants everything to be perfect for her children, and that won't happen -_-; She expects everyone to be "normal" and have "normal" relationships when she thinks the time is right. In short, parents love so much its not fair.

Woo-san: Wow, that's a long comment. It's going in the long comment on Krusty's posts hall of fame. I seriously enjoyed reading it whether you felt like you were babbling or not ^_^ I understand what you mean, and I've been waiting for love to hit me for many many years. I've made promises to myself and kept them, but its at some expense to my happiness (glad I have some to spare...). Don't worry about my depression, it goes away pretty quickly. I'm so glad my posts don't support such a view of myself either - I'm not gay...

Baptistgirl: I'd say it, but then my mom would at least feel bad for making me go through this stupid worry and depression. I won't have that, because then there will be more feeling sorry and I'm not sure I can handle that (my mom is not like me when it comes to depression).

Kitsune-san: Oh dear, youmake me blush ^_^. Yeah, my own feelings seem to be second to everyone else's - its nice being low maintenance to yourself. I don't tend to concentrate on whats not right with me, so maybe thats why I can get over this sort of thing so quickly. I'm pretty sure you're right about the school thing. When I look at my yearbook (I never do...) I notice that all the kids from my elementary school had fewer friends unless they were jerks or jocks (in which case, I'd say about half were actual friends). For some reason it just ended up that way, and there's nothing I can do about it, and any sports I would have joined would have just made me unhappy.

Iruka Sensei: No violence is necessary ^_^ But thanks for the offer. I know the "downsides" to having a girlfriend that's one reason I avoided that kind of relationship for so long too. Now, I can "afford" a girlfriend so to speak, but that hasn't changed anything yet. I'm kinda weird though - I like being told what to do ^_^ if it's not ridiculous...

Thank you all! You give such good advice, I almost consider everyone here my therapists XD.

notes on work

I might have a lot of overtime tomorrow, so I probably won't be able to post again. To tell the truth, I'm not sure I'll be able post for awhile... (don't worry, just a few days probably)

The poor new guy (yep, they hired another guy after me) starts on Thursday and we have a project due Tuesday, so he is given about a ten sheets to fix the day he starts. We're putting the project in print tomorrow, so that means MANY mistakes will be found and more drawings will need to be finished before the end of the day. Well, its Sunday, so I don't have to worry about that ^_^
*turns off brain*

I'll see you later then! Thanks so much for your comments!
[Krusty]
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