Saturday, April 21, 2007

I'm bored, someone AIM me...please?
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Friday, April 20, 2007

My dream is to write a book that will be remembered for it's greatest. I want kids a century from now to read this book and be like, "Wow! This guy was amazing." You know, like we do fro Shakespeare or Edgar Allen Poe. I want to join the pantheon of great writers. And in the magnum opus(greatest work) of my career I want it to read on the inside cover...

"My mother dreamed of changing the world, but she realized that it wasn't her battle to fight. Thank God for giving me a chance to achieve that dream."


:)
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Wednesday, April 11, 2007

*smile*




...Actually...happy...wierd :]
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Thursday, March 29, 2007

Hey I'm on a cruise with alphonse1099 at the moment and paying 50cents for each minute so you guys better read this lol

Anyway, I think I finally realize what I must do. I think I'm foing to stop being this emotionally dead person and start trying. I'm going to try to do what's right and to have fun instead of sitting on my lazy @$$ and hoping that something will happen. It's going to take an unprecedented amount of discipline, but I think I can if I try. I have to atleast try and maybe i'll get a little closer to my goal.

But not now. I'm on vacation.
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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

While reading another amazing book I realized something.
There is something that I need to accept, but I need it told to me plainly. There can't be any trace of doubt or worry in the answer. It needs to be succintly told to me.

*sigh* You know what? Even if she screamed it to me I wouldn't believe it. The only way i could hope to solve the problem would be to completely cut her from my life. But I can't do that...I don't want to do that.

Jeez, humans are stupid
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Saturday, March 17, 2007

I just saw a really good movie.
It made me think...a lot.
I need to get out. I need to go away.
Just to get away from it all.
All the responsibilities that I never fulfill.
When I think about it, humans are such selfish creatures.
Am i satisfied with my existence...yeah
Am I dong what I should be...no
Yet, I'm here. I know what I should do.
But, i choose not to. I do, what I want to do.
Don't we all. That's the choice that god has given us.

What an interesting creator we have.
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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

I misunderstood. She's not moving this year. She's moving after next year. I've still got tons of time. Thank god.

I really do love her.But my conscience is getting in the way.
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Sunday, March 11, 2007

WOW
Well, I never though this was going to happen in a years time.
But I actually have grown very close to gf in the 2 weeks we've been dating and I love her. And what makes it even more phonomenol is that that she love me to. This has never happened to me before. Well, like this anyway. It's actually mutual. I'm crazy though. I knw I am, because she's moving at the end of the school year and i'm going to be alone again. *sigh* Well at least I'll have all of summer to cope with it.

I am cursed.
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Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Isn't it wierd how one simple action can change your outlook of an entire day. I mean there was nothing making this day any better then any other day. Everything was happening as it always does. But in one motion, throwing caution to the wind, my entire mood changed.

It's was as if the truth of my actions revealed itself. I mean, I could always tell basically where it would end up, but now...I know. The action was a kiss. My third. And in it I could see the future. Like everything made itself known.

I know, that the girl i'm dating know. I'll fall in love with. I saw that in that kiss. Isn't that...interesting. How can something so simple be so important. But i also know that in a couple of months she's moving. Why i'm a setting myself up to fall?

A friend gave me the answer.
I had forgotten.
He said, "Because that's living. And you've finally started living again."
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Monday, March 5, 2007

Hey, How are all you?
A lot of...interesting things have happened.
You know how we learn things and change over time?
I'm beginning to learn something.
Pain is part of life. Do you know how long it's been since i've experienced pain. A loooooong time. It's because i've been safe you know. Safe in my cold fire while just about everyone else was burning hot. And what i'm doing right now, is well, finally starting the fire again. Finding my way out of the emotional purgatory i've been living in. But in reality i'm setting myself up for a fall. I know I am. Then why do I choose to all? What's the point?

Life is...wierd.
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