Thursday, August 17, 2006

   So here it is...
So here I am once again at my computer.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about my life at the moment. I have wondered a few things lately.

#1. why do I always end up kicked in the ass by men?
I have this "friend" named Charles...he flirts like crazy with every girl he meets. He thought I was going to give him some free booty and when he found out that I wouldn't give it- the asshole stops talking to me. I would say that it's pretty obvious what he wanted. It seems that I am not the only woman he has done this to and he really needs his ass kicked.

#2. Why is it that every guy that I am friends with seems to pity me?
I have several guuy friends who find it necessary to tell me things like, "You are a very beautiful person inside." or "You will find somebody who will love you as you are." In other words- they think I am a porker and ugly. Come on guys- you don't have to pity me anymore. I know the truth. I mean- I look in the mirror and see it.

#3. I will be fat forever.
It seems that my body wants to be fat and I don't really like it but I can't afford the meds I need either.It's true that I have been gorging myself for a few months due to my use of food as comfort. Maybe I will lose some weight at college...I hope...

#4. It seems that the guy I thought I loved...well I don't. In fact- I pity him for chasing a dream and I will really pity him if it comes out that it was all a lie. But at least I know that he's not the type to lie about his feelings and run to me for comfort.

#5. My crazy "friend" will never leave me alone. I don't write back or call so why won't she give up? Well because when we were friends(I mean when I was her friend), I did everything for her. I protected her and took care of her when she was sick. I even wiped her ass one day when she was so weak from the shits...the bitch shit all over the couch and guess who cleaned it up? That's right- I did.

#6. It seems that I have met a few people online just like the crazy bitch. I have this one guy friend who thinks that he should get all these sexy photos of me...um no...
He says, "How about one where you lean back and spread your legs while clothed?"..um how about no?
I think it's funny because he says that I am sexy...I think he's pitying me...yes yes fat is sexy...ugh no...
Why do these people enjoy using others?

#7. I am sad to be alone and yet I am not. I would love to find someone- but every time I met someone interesting...I get screwed(not literally). I get picked on because I am a virgin and almost 32. Do I care? Nope. I am old fashioned and want to share my body with someone I love- not the whole world. SO I may never have sex- so be it...

I guess that's enough..I need to go to bed.
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