Tuesday, March 27, 2007

should I?

you can visit [ here ] I don't think I should be feeling like this, should I? Should I? I mean I didn't even know him, so why should I care? To me, and my sheltered life, he was no one. To me he was just another one that was there, that I needed to move so I could get to my next destination. Everyone does it everyday. So why should I care. I met him once. He was eating cake, or some sweet stuff in the library, and he seemed so happy. So accepting. Why do I care? I shouldn't, but that doesn't change the fact that I do. I do care that he's gone. I wish I could have changed it. I wish I could have been there for him. I wish I could have stopped him, or even talked to him about it. Even when I don't know how to deal with situations like that and I end up just brushing it off and ignoring it. I wish that we never would have had spring break. Maybe one of us could have done something about it one that Friday. So what if he was trying to call out to someone and they weren't listining? What if he was silently screaming inside for help? What if... No one answered. No one knew what was up. No one knew. No one. No one knows why. Maybe it was his time? He seemed so utterly beyond his youth's comprehension. So maybe acctually he knew what was going to happen when he did it. He knew why he did it. He knew that he was going to be missed. He knew what was beyond death and wasn't afraid of it. He did this to reassure himself. Reassure that he was real. He discovered this, only to hurt others and effect people who didn't even know him. He left a wake of questions and confusion. I suppose this brought about the relization on how fragile life really is. How easy it is to end yourselves, or even someone elses. We are butterflys slowly evolving into our most vunerable state. Most of us stay in the catipillar or pupae stage. Only the very select few grow and shed their shell and become something beautiful. However, as we grow into this state we become the most weak. There, we are unable to overcome our own problems or even others fears. As a butterfly is most beautiful, it is also weak and almost always fails. Think of it not as a failure, but as a retreat. In the end, the butterflies always win. As they know the true treat that life brings. No matter how awful it may seem, the butterflies see it, in the true cut; as a diamond, not the wad of coal everyone else sees it as. As I read it, I felt as if I was doing something I shouldn't. I was doing something that was frowned down upon. I wasn't doing something right. I still feel that, to a certain extent. I also feel as if I'm doing something extraordinary. It's locked. I know that, we all know that. You wanted it that way. So why pry? If you really wanted this, then I know that what you did was right. -kuronekosama On Friday, March 23, 2007 some one died.

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Monday, March 19, 2007

add on

I added another wallpaper. Don't worry, save your time, it's the one in the current scene of this page. Also as you can see, I changed the layout. To Sahki: Thanks for luck! And I'm so glad I'm awesome. ^^ [EDITness]: Sahkirice! I sware I'm not copying your colors! I just really like this picture and I needed a color change, I've been purple for too long. :)

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   Panda says: *chomp*

She likes to chew on the computer. ^^' For some reason I'm watching the Power Rangers. It came on and the remote is so far away... - Well I poked around at the digicam and it still doesn't work, so on my list for tomarrow's activies is fix the scanner and find the super old other digicam. I don' know even where to start looking for it. Watch me find it and not be able to find the USB cable. XD Wish me extended luck. -kuronekosama

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Saturday, March 17, 2007

^^

I got a ferret today! Exciting~! She's a little bundle of energy. I named her Panda. Her ears, paws and tail are black and she has a small mask. If I've ever seen a living thing that resembles a slinky, it's her. She's on my lap asleep right now. The cats love her, and their curosity intrigues them. They want to play so bad, but she's a little safety curious. She only goes near them when they aren't looking. Spring Break is nigh! I say it's already here though, even if the school says it starts on Monday. I'm going to try and fix the digital camera. It's broken, so if I mess it up more it can't hurt it. And if i fix it I can show ya'll everything I've been doing. :) I'm going to go do something now. -kuronekosama

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Thursday, March 15, 2007

^^

I'd love with a passion to take a photography class. Don't know how I could, seeing as I'm graduating this semester and it ends in May. I've got the creative bug~ I've been making crap like crazy. I wish I had a digicamera to show you guys! T^T Clothe scraps now litter the house, not like they didn't before. As I have no where to put them, nor the sewing machine. It sits at the diningtable. It cries: "Sew with me! Sew with me!" I then turn and sob, as you see I have to go to school tomarrow. Spring fever is high, last day till spring break... XD waaaa~! i have no idea what i'll be doing... o.O -kuronekosama

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

x.x -has died momentarly

I can't believe how much work this paper is. It's driving me insane. I worked on it for an hour tonight and I only got one typed doublespaced page done! ONE! bllaahhhggghhhrrrr. that was my pathetic noise. - This girl in art asked me to draw her something for $5.00! I was so excited! Yes, i know it's not that much but this is my first,er, commision (?) EVER!! I am very happy. She wanted a chibi picture of Chi. I can't draw chibis worth crap and I told her that and she still didn't care. Yahy! ~ happy sqiggly marks~~~~! - Me and Jewish Payphone went and frolicked through the dafodills at the park today. it was fun! We also took tons of pictures. Wasted a whole roll of film. What fun. I want to do it again. I want to test out some black and white film, I bet it's really nice. I love black and white so much. ^^ - In art I'm doing an easycut of a lolita(ish) girl I drew. Shes purdeh. (thats country for pretty) For the longest time I had no idea that pretty was spelled 'pretty' not 'preety' o.O I had been spelling it 'preety' for years. silly me. -kuronekosama

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Friday, March 9, 2007

   I am trying to feel better. :)

Me and my mom got in a fight this morning. She yelled….and I ignored her. That’s not the best way to start my morning. I’m a little unstable and I wanted to come on here to make me feel better. - Sorry Sahkiryce, I’ve been reading, I just haven’t read the one today. I’ll get around to it, I’ll read it at midnight most likely. GTK your artworks is good. Very nice. - I went to the store yesterday morning and I saw a little guy, he’s a dogtoy mind you, he was a dollar and I bought him. Now I carry him around a lot. I named him George. I think he’s a lemon. Although I’m not to sure. I’m going to buy a digital camera so I’ll show you guys eventually. We got my Senior pictures in the mail. The look okay. Kevin likes them, but he likes anything with me in it. :) I also got something in my eye yesterday. It took at least two hours to get it out. I was afraid that I got a splinter in my eyelid. But I remembered childhood advice and I got it out. At least I think so, I never found it, but my eye doesn’t hurt anymore. I have a 5-8 page paper to write in english, it's on Victorian Fashion. I just got done with my Plague paper. Blah. -kuronekosama

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Saturday, February 24, 2007

o.o

Right now all four of my kitties are laying on me. Two on my lap, one on my feet, and the other on the back of the chair/my head. I'm like drowning in a sea of cuteness. - I'm still sick. It's not like it hurts...it's just annoying. I have to blow my nose and cough every few minutes, or drown in snot. I want to go to the thrift shop...or to the mall. If I go to the thrift shop then I won't spend as much money. Me and my friends have found so many cool things there: Geta, Ryo-ohki plush, Alf, Saloir moon manga, some funny little japanese things...knitting needles (like 10 pairs!) for $1 dollar. And then there is so much more, I found one of my favorite hats there too and a nice pair of riding boots. - When I'm blogging, I try not erase things or repair them, because they 'sound stupid'. I try to make things as they go. I believe that makes you understand more of me. My foot is asleep. -kuronekosama

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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

   :O

I made three plushies. Now I say it's time to start making them for real. My next project is Chi. - I'm doing a report on the Black Death. I'm excited. It is a very fun interesting subject. The plague doctors are a nice touch. I'm thinking of making a clay figure of one of them for one of the visuals. Everyone thinks they are evil! >:D Makes me happy. - I'm hungry. I need to eat lunch. It just so happens that I'm on Fee Waver so that means I can eat for free, or reduced...but I don't have anyone to sit with. So most likly when it gets warmer, I'll start eating lunch outside that way I don't have to sit next to people. My master plan. I ate some crackers earlier...and I have an orange ...but I can't eat an orange in the library, or in my next class. So I'll just wait till after school. It's not that far off. - Kevin said we can walk to Big Lots this afternoon. I'm happy that I get to finnaly get out of the house, even if it is walking. Besides it's rather nice, around 50. So that's not bad. - I'm sick again. I just got over my last cold, just last week. Darn my weak immune system! So, be happy that you can't get my germs through the moniter. *coughs in your general direction* bwahahaha. I'm so evil. My plan is to cough around and get all of everyone sick so that they will cancel schools. I doubt it will work though. Besides, I'm not that evil. Or am I? -kuronekosama

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

^-~

Happy Valentines day, everyone! I hope you had a nice one. - I just finished my poem I had to write for english. We had to make up a prologe silimar to 'the canturberry tales'. At least it wasn't in iambic pentameter. I've never really understood that stuff. Because depending on how you say it, it could be lotsa stuff. English is weird. Currently a Pucca marathon is on. I'm watching a bit of it, but I'll have to go to bed in a minute. As you see, I'm tired. Tomarrow is my friday, as we have Friday off for some glorious reason. Anywhatever reason it makes me happy, most likly some prepresident's holiday or something. - I don't really know how to make a 'shop site' if that makes sense. We learned how to do it in my webpage class, but we didn't go into depth about it. Like the submit buttons have to be conected to a server or something. We didn't go that far. And we made it with Dreamweaver and I don't have that program. I could have one of those ghetto e-mail shops, but I'd rather not. To me it seems so unprofessional and...shady. o.O I just randomly picked up my checkered black and white paperboy/poorboy/chouffer/whatever hat out of my dresser and have been wearing it sence I got home. I feel special. I did have my octopus plushie safteypinned to it, I wonder where Octy went? I'm tired. I ish going to bed. and i have to take a shower in the morning. I forgot to take one tonight. blaaaahhh. -kuronekosama

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