Tuesday, May 18, 2004

   -.- bleh

you missed a great momment in histery yesterday. I was happy and now I'm back into my inner dark self. I got some people I didn't know posting on my site yesterrday. Who the hell are they? no one knows. What the fuck are they? no one knows. How the hell did they get here? internet. Hmm. I feel kinda of specail....okay happy feeling gone now. ^^' That lasted for what four seconds. I think it was Sahkiryce-sama who signed my guestbook the other day and said (exact words, copy and paste): "Hey! I really love your site! I mean, the colors are just WONDERFUL and relaxing to the eyes ^_^ Because I'll just have to tell you, that white hurts my eyes for some reason =P I also wanted to say, thanks a whole bunch for signing my guestbook and leaving a meaningful comment. Because some people just copy and paste their messages which is really annoying! I say, if you REALLY want people to come visit your site, you HAVE to leave a nice meaningful comment in the guestbook and not advertise =P Right? But you didn't do that ^_^ I really appreciate that! Here, you deserve some Pocky hehe ^_^ *hands you some Pocky* Well take care! I hope to see you around! ^_^" I said to myself: people do suck and they shouldn't write "com sign my g/b plz. i'll add u as a friend. lat." god I want to slap them! I have such a large problum with beggers and INTERNET TALK! its so stupid you can just tell the person is lazy by the way they write, come on how hard is it to type 'you' instead of 'u' everyone takes the easy way out. I used to rp on the internet untill all I saw was 'u r so stupd, u type to much, u use to many wordz' Lazy ass bitches... okay I will shut up now before I start on one of my long ass lectures typing thingy. And classs is about to start, so i'll converse will ya'll later. (why I say ya'll is beyond be. My hillbilly heritage I do think) **** I am back in action! Not a POS (prisiner of school) anymore! ...well kinda because I'm still in the school. I have to wait for my bus that will be coming here in about thirty minutes. Right now I'm in the libaray. >< I spend a lot of time here, on the internet or reading EGM. I am SO glad school is ending in two days. not even two really more like one because they are both half days We get to leave early after taking our EOCs (end of course test). Then we have friday and half day monday. but screw that. I'm not coming they are just make up days. Who needs those when you already took the tests? who I typed alot...oh well. still got plenty more to spill. =-=-=- okay now that thats out of my system, I'll go back to what I was typing about earlier. No not the whole ' i hate the internet talk' but the guest book signage thingy. I do agree with you Sahkiryce, nobody should post an addvertisment for your guest book, thats just stupid. Its not a race to see who can get the most signatures. They should like compliment your art and your site and stuff. i don't really care if people sign my GB I just delete the ones that are stupid! thats always fun. I need to go back there and clense it again. Prolly getting full of stupid comments. Its not a billboard. >< yeah, no I feel like a total idiot. But i don't give a damn what you all think of me. >< thats just me for ya. SCHOOL'S ALMOST OUT! can't wait..well kinda I can because my mother will slaughter me, but hey my F is almost a D. heh heh almost -.-' it kinda sucks too because I have a lot of senoirs friends leaving and some who are staying beacuse they haven't passed yet. *sweatdrop* oh well but I am going to miss them all. All the big buttload of people. *sniff* its so sad. I hate senoirs. - I just now relized that all my friends that I have, have always talked to me first. Such a antisocial beast I am. I never really liked people, now that I think about it...I've always been a quiet distant kid. And those were the good times. ahh memories... ....nothing good came from those memories.Things that came to my head: 1] Dad 2] mom 3] death 4] alone 5] time inside my head Fester I'm such a festering wound. Fester. Fester. thats all I do. Please tell me somthing right out of the blue. I'm not good, not good at all All I do is bleed and cry someone just tell me why what am i to do. I'm on the ground in a sicking scream I'll crawl I'll crawl no one ever heard me sing My voice is just absent I'm a discarded shell I'm just a Festering soul fester, fester. thats all I do. hmm.. kind of random. Very. not even in a poetic mood. when I saw the word fester, my fingers just went loose and just typed. I don't care if any ones reading this. I kind of just need to get some shit out of my system. i'm not even talking about what I want to talk about. i'm not even gonna publish my mother's name apon this sanctuary. My best freing (purgatory as you might know her) wasn't at school today. So I've been an unopened box on christmas all day. I'm just writing things down as they come to mind nad I prolly havn't even posted what I origgnally wanted to post when I came here. I thank any one who accutaly read this whole thing through (yeah right who'd read it besides Bakuryu-chan and he never get's on here any more >< I miss his comments they always britend my dull day) you desevere a Pocky. yum strawberry kind... I still have plenty to say but I just save it for a rainy day. after all I am just a festering wound. What more would a festering do to the soul? Catch you all some other time. Just make sure you are running first. -Kuronekosama or falling. fallings always good. Like that one time I went high into the mountains and when I looked over the side of the lookout. My breath was caught in my throught and I was so amazed. But not the good amazed. The amazed that rots the inside of your stomach. I wanted to fall off, I wanted to see if it really hurt when you fell. So far away, and I was so close. i remember my eyes were out of focus and I wanted to jump and die so badly. i wanted to fall, or fly, I wanted to fall and never hit the ground. But at the same time I wanted to feel my bones shatter. My heart go fast as I neared the ground. i wanted to feel the wind and the smile that would spread acoss my face when I finnaly relized: 'death has clearly come to great me. Hold me in your arms sweet angel of death. I know there is no heaven nor hell. just hold me close and let me become one with your blackend soul, at least there I can find eternal happiness. The happiness I could not find on earth. The only happiness I could find would be if I was a guardian angel. Gaurdian of a loved one. Or within your darkend soul within i could fester with you, and feel your pain and you could feel mine too. We are, apparently, two sides of the same mirrior.'

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