Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Bounjour mon cher aims ^^ I have a tiny little story to put up. I hope that's ok. I didn't want to put it in the articles section cause it's really not an article. I have no where else to put it, and it's just collecting dust in the abyss known as my computer. It's called "Spinning In Circles" it's one of the first things i wrote ^^ hope you like it. It's based of my boyfriend and me, but some of it is exagerated to make it sound better ^^

Have you ever put your arms out, palms open, fingers spread apart, and spun around in circles? The inertia of your arms helps you as you turn around, tugging at you and making you keep on spinning, even when your stomach twists and you feel like if it lasts a moment longer you're going to puke because it's just too much.
Then you loose your balance, fall down, and stare up at the sky. Everything around you is still spinning in a sort of dizzy confusion and for a moment it's actually worse than before, because now you're not moving with the rest of the world any more.
Once everything finally settles down and comes to a complete stop (for real this time), you're still lying there on your back and you don't remember the queasiness anymore, just that wonderful feeling of freedom you got from spinning around and around and you can't wait to stand up again and do it again and again and again...
So, yeah, that's kinda what love is like. Well, at least that's how it was for me. It was kinda slow at the beginning – not love at first sight, nothing that superficial or cheap. Nah, when I first met the guy I actually thought that he was sort of a jerk. He was one of thoughs popular kids, and I've never been all that fond of them; I've found them to be very annoying and arrogant. You know.
Things didn't start to really pick up speed until later, when I got to know him better. I just kept on bumping into him, he seemed to turn up wherever I went. Parks, moives, just... wherever. In short, I just couldn't seem to shake the guy.
So instead I just gave in and stopped resisting the tug, and let myself be pulled along from dislike to attraction.
And when I finally realized what was happening, it was too late because at that point I was going too fast and it was too much and I couldn't handle it anymore and I couldn't really stop, so I fell.
But, it wasn't the same as when I spin myself sick and silly, because this time... this time when I fell someone caught me before I could hit the ground.
And I suddenly realized that this was different and I wouldn't fall down, forget the bad parts, and jump up again and start all over with someone new. This was different, because I'd found someone who wasn't going to let me fall, someone who would catch and hold me, giving me a chance to catch my breath and sort things out. I'd found someone who would love me back.
All around me I see other people spinning around, playing with chance in hopes that they'll know when to stop, that they won't go too fast, or fall too hard. Hoping that they'll be able to get to their feet again and won't end up staying on the ground for the rest of their lives.
I cling to my anchor, and I'm glad that I've stopped spinning.

(comments please ^^)

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