Thursday, November 1, 2007

   Stage crew+8 comments=kinda happy

Current Time: 8:27 PM Current Mood: Weak/Cracked/Better than yesterday Current Song: Stay by Sugarland --**-- Oh, I forgot a quote. Oh well. I'm gonna make this SUPER SUPER SHORT, kay? Kay. Anyway...My day was definitely better than yesterday. I was actually able to focus on other things besides...that...well. *changes subject* Stage crew! You know, during a production/play, those people that run onto the stage and change the props every now and then for whatever reason?? That's what I'm doing! Stage crew peeps made me happy...They're so nice...Even though I'm the only freshman XD And EIGHT COMMENTS!! YAYY!!! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!!! I'm so happy! (Okay, not completely so happy, but that in particular makes me happy.) Tomorrow's Friday. Woot! The end of the week is near! Although I'm kind of scared...With nothing to do, my those thoughts might come back and make me hurt again. But I'll try to keep myself preoccupied so that doesn't happen. Oh, and I really loved all of your comments yesterday. They were all so nice and superly awesome! You may not know it, but you give great advice. ^-^ Muchos gracias (lots of thanks) to all who commented yesterday and all who are commenting today. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. XD Well, well! Exactly 9 minutes long to post. A new record (it usually takes me like a half hour xD) Adios for now. *hugs* Avi of the Day:

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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

   If it's not one thing, it's always another.

Current Time: 6:17 PM Current Mood: Uber-MEGA Depressed Current Song: Ready, Steady GO!! [FMA Opening] There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. -Friedrich Nietzsche --**-- Yup, yup. Changed my theme again. FMA. Hope you all enjoy it-I know I do. XD I've been watching a lot of FMA lately. I think I'm up to episode 12...Not entirely sure. I've been preoccupied. T.T Well, I guess what little good news there is should come first. Sakura is now leaving me alone. Like, REALLY leaving me alone. It's great. No more annoying people! ^-^ Ummm...It's Halloween. That's fun. Truthfully, I completely forgot that today was Halloween. As I said, I've been preoccupied with things. [Warning: Really, Really Long Post Ahead] When I start thinking about them, my head starts spinning...I feel like I can't breathe. Like all of these thoughts are crashing into each other in my head, and I can't figure out anything, can't figure out what it all means. My heart...it hurts. It's not broken, exactly, but it's cracked. Fragmented. It's...weak. Tired of trying so hard, of wanting with all of its strength for something it can't have. Tired of trying. That sounds about right. I have a diary. And I've been writing in it a lot lately. (I usually don't, but then again, my life these days isn't really as normal as I'd like it to be.) Last night, when I was writing (I wanted to come on here and vent, but my parents wouldn't let me) I sort of...almost lost control, I guess you could say. Like, I started writing and I couldn't stop. But, I really like how I wrote it...It portrays my insides right now so perfectly. So here it is: (Btw, if I'm letting you read my journal entries, that's a really huge sign that I trust you guys A LOT. More than you could imagine, I'd bet.) That girl he always talks to in study hall-I hope she knows she's really lucky. I hope she knows that there's someone there, every day, just feet from her, that would give almost anything to be in her place. That person would give anything to see him smile at her like that. And that person also knows that to him, she's just some freshman. She's just some random person in his Spanish class that's kinda ditzy and pretty quiet. But, this girl wishes that someday, he'll find someone that he has the same kind of feelings for as she does for him. She wishes, prays, even, that he'll be happy with whichever girl he decides to fall in love with. She also wishes she could find the same happiness for herself. So...Now you know what's going on. It might sound like a crapload of self-pity, but I seriously don't feel sorry for myself at all. I'm just sorry that I don't have the courage, the heart, or the ability to do anything about it. I know most of you would say "What are you thinking?! Go out there and get what you want!" That's exactly the problem. I can't. And besides, I have no chance with him at all. So what's the point? No guy in their right minds would ever feel that way about me. I'm...well...Me. That about sums it up. Heh...I hear all the trick-or-treaters outside. It's pretty nostalgic. I remember when I'd race through my dinner to jump into my costume and go after free candy, without a care in the world. Running down the street, yelling "Come on, Dad! Hurry up, you're so slow!" I wish things were as simple as they used to be back then. I wish I could go back to the time when I didn't care about stuff like this. When it didn't matter...Caring about someone so much until it felt like your heart would explode. The time when I didn't think about those kinds of things. *sigh* When it never hit you that you might spend your entire life loving someone from a distance. You might spend your entire life...loveless (no pun intended) because of your own lack of courage. Spending your life utterly alone and wondering what someone loving you in that kind of way feels like. Wondering how you'd react if someone (besides your parents) told you that they loved you more than anything. ................ *gasp* O_O Okay, my head's spinning again...I'm gonna shut up now. Way too in-depth. I'm not sure if I'll get to sites...I'll try. Although I doubt my gloomy-ness is gonna cheer anybody up. Avi of the Day:

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Monday, October 22, 2007

   *dizzy with lack of sleep* ahhhh....

current time: 6:25 PM current mood: TIRED current song: i'm with the band by little big town [no quote today] --**-- yeah, i changed my theme again. XD i found this wallie and i really liked it, so i changed it. and the song, too. carrie rocks! "sometimes, that mountain you've been climbin' is just a grain of sand...sometimes, what you've been searchin' for forever is in your hands...and when you learn that love is all that matters after all, it makes everything else...seem so small." as you can see, i'm also way too tired to even capitalize what i'm supposed to be capitalizing. this computer is REALLY pissing me off. it's being REALLY REALLY slow. it took me forvever just to get to this page! >_< (so i won't be getting to sites today. even if my computer was going at its usual speed, i probably would'nt get to sites out of exhaustion anyway.) well, my day was kinda crappy, seeing that i just found out someone i know (i'm not calling sakura my friend anymore because she's hasn't really been my friend at all lately) is a total lesbian. O.e alright, before you get all offended, i have NOTHING against any kind of bisexual people. that has nothing to do with it, in this case. it just adds to what she's done...alright, the girl she was making out with at homecoming (which was a very enjoyable experience by the way, i had a lot of fun) had a boyfriend, and SAKURA has a boyfriend too! when she told me all of this, i was like "WTF?!" not because she was making out with another girl, but because she's friggin CHEATING on her own boyfriend without a care in the world. and her excuse is "well, he's a forbidden boyfriend, so it doesn't matter!" WHAT KIND OF AN EXCUSE IS THAT?! just because your parents don't know you have a boyfriend doesn't give you the right to treat the person you're dating like that. (at least, in my opinion.) so, i've had ENOUGH. first, she betrays my trust by not caring at all about my other friends. second, she totally embarasses me whenever i'm around her (and not in a good way. the little reputation i had in study hall has now gone up in flames because of her) and third, it's clearly evident that she couldn't give a DAMN about me. and now THIS?! i'm taking care of this, and i'm taking care of it NOW (as in tomorrow, since i don't see her till then.) i've deleted her off my devART, blocked her on there, deleted all the emails she ever sent to me, deleted her email address off of my contacts on my email program (i have microsoft outlook) and deleted her phone number off of my cell phone. not to mention, iv'e gotten rid of every note she's ever passed to me in study hall (i usually keep stuff my friends write/draw for me) AND i've deleted all of the phone call records she's made to my phone EVER. (in other words, i went back through my 'missed' and 'incoming' calls and deleted her number every time i saw it.) so, just by looking at these things, there's no sign whatsoever that i ever knew her. she will no longer be talking to me by tomorrow (and fortunately for you, folks, you're not going to be hearing about her ever again after tomorrow.). i'm usually not the type to end "frienships" (if you could call my association with sakura a "friendship") so meanly and abruptly like this, but she's gone too far this time. i am SICK and TIRED of her bugging the crap out of my friends just because of me. it's not gonna happen anymore. she's crossed the line, and she will NOT be stepping over it again anytime soon, let me tell you that right now. wow, guys. thanks for listening to this ridiculously long rant about my hatred of sakura. i know it was probably really boring. but you have no idea how much you guys mean to me! (i'm serious about this.) all of you, ALL OF YOU, are amazing and great friends, and i love you all TO DEATH. never forget that, okay? i feel so lucky to have all of you still here by my side even after i haven't talked to any of you for so long. i'm truly really grateful. THANK YOU. *uber-mega-super-glomps each and every one of you* thanks again guys, i love you, and i hope you all have had a great monday. if i'm not back soon, then have a great week for me, okay? XD see ya around. *MORE HUGS* sayonara until next time! avi of the day: [there isn't one XP]

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Friday, October 19, 2007

   Tumbleweed!

Current Time: 5:59 PM Current Mood: Tired Current Song: The Good Kind by The Wreckers Anime guys don't break your heart...And they give you cookies! ^-^ -Koma --**-- Howdy do, ya'll. *yawn* I'm much more tired than usual today, it sucks. Sorry I haven't been on the past couple of days! I had lots of homework, and then I had to babysit, so yeah. But I guess it doesn't really matter, cuz I only got 3 comments anyway...>_< Just kidding. So, Homecoming's tomorrow! Exciting, right? XD I'm usually not the type to like dances and all of that, but I'm actually kind of looking forward to it. I get to hang out with all of my friends! And hopefully avoid Sakura at the same time! XD Jeez, we went through a LOT of crap to get all of our plans for Homecoming down (there's 9 of us) and we finally came up with a plan for dinner and everything that satisfied everyone, and we just ended up going back to square one anyway. So there's two separate groups now-Me and two of my other friends, and then the rest of them are doing something else. The other group is just so utterly determined to argue with everything that we come up with, we just sort of gave up on them and let them do whatever. Everyone wanted to go together, but it's kinda hard when 6 out of the 9 people are being noob sauces...T.T But they're still my friends. xD And I still love them. I'll just be kind of glad when this whole ordeal is over. *sigh* More news...Enrique's in my group for our Spanish project!!! O///////////////////O AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! We're doing a fashion show...T.T (We're learning clothes and stuff like that in Spanish.) OMG it's gonna be SO embarassing. Me...MODELING?! What has this world come to?! (I am NOT the most graceful person in the world. This is gonna be disastrous.) *shudder* I think I'm gonna change my theme to something Halloween-ish today, and I'll be getting to sites too. See ya around! *hugs* Avi of the Day: **EDIT**: Sorry, folks, I won't be getting to sites today like I said! My comp's being REALLY slow. T.T"

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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

   Homecoming plans+Loveless=Confusion o.O

Current Time: 8:04 PM Current Mood: Confuseded/Dreamy Current Song: Stellar by Incubus A fatty bit of the bacon just twanged me in the face. Hahaha. You don't say that every day. -Emmah --**-- Howdy do, ya'll! I only have a half hour on the computer (lol) and my computer is being really slow, so I'm not sure if I'll get to all the sites today, soooo...^^" Let me explain about the subject! Me and my friends are all going together to Homecoming (seriously, I wasn't planning on going at all but they kept bothering me about it...T.T) and we're trying to figure out what we're gonna do beforehand! (It's this Saturday, apparently.) I am so confused. One person says we're going to someone's house, and another person says we're going to another person's house! And then somebody else says we're going out to dinner! o.O So I guess we'll just have to wait and see how that goes, right? *sigh* Part 2: Loveless OMG the first volme is confusing me SO much!!! Is Ritsuka actually Loveless? What's a fighter unit? Soubi's a fighter unit, right? And he used to serve Beloved...Correct? He has that weird scar on his neck. But then the Breathless people are like "Ahhh!! Soubi's serving two masters at once! How disgraceful!" and then the next thing you know, you're reading about how Beloved is indeed DEAD. So wouldn't Soubi only be serving ONE master if his old one was dead? (And he is serving Loveless/Ritsuka...Correct me if I'm wrong.) I'm not sure I like Ritsuka or not. He's kinda mean, (and a little um...should I say...*coughobsessedcough* with his brother (Seimei??)) and not to mention, he becomes friends with total strangers WAY too easily. Same with Soubi!!! Seriously! He was with him for what, an hour or two?? And he's like "I love you, Ritsuka!" Is it just some weird fighter unit/master reaction or something that makes him feel this way or what?! GRAH! Confusing manga really gets on my nerves. I slowly become obsessed with trying to figure out what it all means...But then I just end up asking someone to explain it for me. In a way, it's kinda fun, trying to figure it out. Ya know what I mean? But let's change the subject before I won't shut up about Loveless. Study hall is SO EMBARASSING these days. My annoying friend (who I have deemed 'Sakura') is in that class, and she WON'T FRIGGIN LEAVE ME ALONE!! Not to mention, Enrique's in that class too...(FYI: Enrique is indeed NOT his real name, it's his Spanish class name. I never use real names on the internet for security reasons...Not that I don't trust you guys or anything. ^^") Anyway, what was I saying about Enrique? Ah, yes. He sits like right next to me and Sakura (whom I unfortunately sit next to) and....o///O Heh...He gives me butterflies in my stomach whenever I look at him...And I can feel my face turning red as I'm typing this...So I'll shut up now...^-^ So yeah, that just makes it worse. Enough of my complaining for the day, eh? Hope ya'll had a good Tuesday and I'll probably see ya tomorrow! *hugs* Avi of the Day:

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Monday, October 15, 2007

   No school today!

Current Time: 8:37 PM Current Mood: Pretty good Current Song: Comatose by Skillet A friend is someone who will help you move. A real friend is someone who will help you move a body. -Unknown --**-- Howdy do! Gomen for not posting yesterday, I wasn't allowed on the internet. So I could only work on typing up my story...T.T Yeah. I'm in a pretty good mood today...We didn't have school! (Teacher in-service thingy.) And we have a 2-hour delay tomorrow, so this week's gonna be real short. For which I am thankful...XD Mom went to the store today, and I had to watch the puppy, right? So she doesn't eat/chew anything she's not supposed to. So while I was doing that, I watched TV. I WATCHED TV!!! In case you didn't get the hint, I almost NEVER (and I mean NEVER) watch TV (at least not anything anime-related. I watch Toonami on Saturday nights...^-^) Yeah...I watched Hannah Montana (that show's hilarious XD) and Life With Derek...(Which isn't really that bad, but Hannah's better.) That's right, folks. When I decide to watch TV, what channel do I watch? The Disney Channel...Fun stuff. xD Besides that, I finished xxxHolic volume 4 today, and I'm starting the first Loveless tomorrow. So far I'm only on the third episode of xxxHolic, but I'm surprised at how relevant it is to the manga. The manga, of course, is always better in my opinion, but for xxxHolic, I think they might actually be equal...o.O Lol. Like, there's some anime that is SO much different than the manga, you know what I mean? Like FMA...And Furuba too, although not always. I forget what episode it was, but there was this one part in the Fruits Basket anime where Yuki, Tohru, and Shigure are talking about what Kyo could possibly be doing in the mountains, and Yuki says something like "Meditating under waterfalls and fighting bears?" and there's this random visual of Kyo under a waterfall in his dojo outfit karate-chopping a bear. HI-YA! Something like that. :P I think that's it for today. See ya! *hugs* Avi of the Day:

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Saturday, October 13, 2007

   Volunteering at a garage sale=boring

Current Time: 4:09 PM Current Mood: Alright Current Song: As If by Sara Evans All people want is someone to listen. -Hugh Elliott --**-- Hello all! Happy Saturday! You know what that means...*drumroll* DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! ^-^ Well, I did kinda have to do something today...See, my school holds a garage sale every fall, and since I'm in the school's volunteer club (it's called Interact) I signed up to help out with it today. It was so boring!!! >_< There wasn't really anything to help out with. They're just like "Oh, just go around and pick up stuff that's been dropped on the floor and stuff like that." Well, that was done in like a matter of 5 minutes. T.T At 1, the brown-bag sale started though, and that made it a little more interesting. We had to stand at the door to the gym and pass out brown bags to people who wanted them (all of the stuff you could fit in the bag only cost 5 bucks when you went to pay for it). It was me, one of my friends, and Kevin...Kevin was OBSESSED with passing out the bags. When someone didn't want one, he was like "NOOO!!! Please take one! Pllleeeaaaassseeee?!?" OMG it was hilarious. And then when people took one and gave it back, he'd throw it back in the bucket, mumbling "just adding more to my shame..." XD There were cupcakes, so all of us were even MORE hyper than usual after that. We had to go take down signs, and we were like running around and racing each other to the next sign. We were like "NO! MY SIGN!" XDDD Lol. I'm happy though, cuz we get credit hours for volunteering. I need at least 2 for Health class, and I was there from noon-2, so I'm good! ^-^ On to other subjects. Who said they didn't know how to get to my fanfiction? I think it was Angel Zakuro...Okay, here's a link to the first chapter, and I think you'll be able to find all the rest of them from there-just click on SharinganShadow14... Chapter One! Okey-dokes...Hmmm. I think I'm gonna go watch some Naruto and xxxHolic until Mom gets home. Wait, screw that. She just pulled in. *hugs* I'll be kinda busy later though, cuz we're having a family-sorta bonfire get-together kind of thing tonight, so yeah. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get to sites! *more hugs* Sayonara! Avi of the Day:

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Friday, October 12, 2007

   Frecuentemente!=

Current Time: 6:14 PM Current Mood: Depressed T.T Current Song: Benjamin by Sanctus Real You can't find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well. -Carrie Fisher --**-- See! I told you, didn't I? The MCR one wouldn't last for very long...XD It's back to xxxHolic and Yuko-san again. I really like this theme, I hope you enjoy it too. ^-^ I do really like that song, though..."Teenagers scare the livin' shit outta me!" Lol. Of course, I have nothing against teenagers/emos/gothics but you know...The song just makes me laugh. XD Anyway, today was a little better than yesterday. A little... Um, if you commented here yesterday, you'll know about Yuiko and Sakura...After the incident yesterday, they've just been getting more and more on my nerves. I say "Well, I'm kinda mad at you right now, because you made a promise and you broke it...Even if it was a silly little promise, you still broke it, and one of my other friends paid for it." And they just go along like I never said anything like that to them at all. THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME SO MAD!!! Yuiko is so...Self-centered. When I'm with her, I feel like she doesn't listen to me at all...Like, the only reason she even talks to me is because she knows I'll listen to her when she talks. T.T It's like the only reason she wants to be friends is because I like anime. I was like "alright" at first, but now I see it more clearly. That's all she ever talks about...T.T" I mean, YES, I LOVE anime, but talking about it constantly gets really annoying. Me and my other friends are discussing it...They've been saying that those two are REALLY getting on everybody's nerves, and believe me, my friends do not complain often, so I'm taking them seriously. I do have good news, however! We got a new doggie!! <3 It's a puppy!!! It's a tiny little weiner doggie...A girl. Me and Dad wanna name it Lily, but Mom and my brother are like "No, Sunny!" Does Sunny sounds like a girl's name to you? Didn't think so. XD I also have Chapter 4 of my story up on DeviantART if you've been reading it. Just wanted to let you know. *nudge nudge* Can you go read it...?? Nah, I don't deserve it. I've been a horrible friend on here lately...No wonder I'm only getting like 2 comments a post. Psssshhhtt. I'm gonna try visiting tonight, though. Screw that. I WILL!!! I PROMISE ALL OF YOU!! *a dream is realized* That's all. Sayonara! *hugs even though a lot of people probably hate me now* Avi of the Day:

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Thursday, October 11, 2007

   Hey.

Current Time: 7:51 PM Current Mood: Not good, that's for sure Current Song: Teenagers by My Chemical Romance None but a coward dares to boast that he has never known fear. -Ferdinand Foch --**-- Well, as you can see, no more xxxHolic theme. XD I decided to change it to randomness, but I don't think this one'll be up for too long. I just like the song. XD And I thought the other theme looked too busy, but a Yuko theme is definitely in the very near future. I don't have very much longer to type this, so I'll make it short, okay? I really truly apologize for not being on AT ALL this week. It was like, every day after school this week, I had some meeting to go to or somewhere to go with my parents, and then I'd have to do my homework, and then I was WAY too tired to do anything else, so yeah. I didn't even have a chance to get on the computer most of the time! >_< I'm having a really crappy day today. One of my friends is really pissing me off. T.T Alright, we have this room called the Commons in my school, right? It's like a cafeteria/socializing place kinda thing. There's a table me and my group of friends always sit at before the bell rings in the morning. So, two of my friends (we'll call them Sakura and...Yuiko) were already there when me and 2 of my other friends came up. We had some teachers to go see before school started, so we're like "We're gonna leave our stuff here on the table, okay? Can you guys stay here and watch it for us?" and they're like, ya know, "Sure, we'll stay and watch them till you come back." So we left, and a couple of minutes later, we came back. They were gone. And so was my friend's $40. Before you jump to conclusions, we have made ABSOLUTELY sure that Yuiko and Sakura didn't take the money. But I'm still really pissed at them, because the money never would've been stolen if they had never left, like they PROMISED they would. They said they would watch our stuff! So, I don't trust them anymore. This has happened a couple of times (well, money wasn't taken any of the other times obviously) so yeah, I have no trust or sympathy left for them. They're kinda still my friends, but I no longer trust them with anything. I guess it just really upsets me because I want to be able to trust them, ya know? They're my friends. Friends are supposed to trust each other, right? If I think hard enough, I realize that this fact doesn't really bother me too much. Just kind of a little thing in the back of my mind. In other news...my friend from my old school called (you know the guy one I was talking about the other day, I dunno if you remember) like yesterday or something like that. Well, he called sometime this week. And we got to talking about our plans for Halloween, and he's all like, "You should come back over here for Halloween! That would be so awesome!" But I said "Well, my parents probably wouldn't let me, ya know?" Cuz my "old neighborhood" is BAD. (My neighbor was a drug dealer. ^^) So his reply is this: "They should let you! Trust me, if we go walking around, and we run into someone I don't know, I'll protect you, okay? I will protect you." He said it kinda nonchalantly, right? Yeah. My Reaction: O///////////////////////////////O *thinking, DID HE JUST SAY THAT?!* *uber-mega-blush* OMG...(Can you tell I have a crush? You should've noticed by now...XD) Uh-huh. I think that's all. Sayonara! (I won't be getting to sites, by the way. >_<) *hugs* Avi of the Day:

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Saturday, October 6, 2007

   MANGA! WE MEET AGAIN! XD

Current Time: 4:36 PM Current Mood: Happy/Sad Current Song: Suga Shikao Sanagi: xxxHOLIC Movie Theme Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead. -Charles Bukowski --**-- YOOOO! (I've had a habit of saying that a lot lately.) I hope you're all having a great weekend so far! Mine has been going pretty well...T.T We had to put my doggie to sleep yesterday. >_< She wasn't getting any better, so yeah. It's kinda weird not having her around...She always used to bark like crazy all the time and now it's like dead silent...o.O I guess it takes some getting used to. My parents say that we might get another dog soon, though. ^-^ I love doggies! By the way, I'm not a cat person at all. But I love nekos! XD Speaking of neko-ness...I had a gift card for Barnes & Noble, so me and my mom went there today! I got this HUGE manga that consists of xxxHOLIC volumes 1, 2, and 3. Then I got volume 4 and the first Loveless! I felt kinda bad about getting Loveless, since it says on the back "Older Teen: 16+" but the temptation was too great...I couldn't resist the nekos...^^ So yeah, I haven't even started HOLIC yet, and I'm already obsessed with it! The art is AMAZING. Does anybody know if HOLIC is an anime? Or is it just a manga? o.O And Loveless, too. Cuz I wouldn't mind watching those anime... I went to a football game last night! The Superbowl of my school district: Southview vs. Northview! (Hard to imagine a rivalry, eh? XD) I go to Southview (we're the Cougars :P) AND WE TOTALLY POWNED THE NORTHVIEW PEEPS!! 16 to NOTHING!!! *cheers* We scored the first two touchdowns in the first quarter...And then we got two more points in the last one, lol. Poor Northview...Beaten by their rivals...For the second year in a row...XD I have to go, I have manga to read and some fanfiction I have to get started on. (My friends made me join this fanfiction-writing thing at school, where they give you an anime pairing and you have to write a fanfic about it. Mine's only gonna be a one-shot, but I really have to get started. ^^) Oh, and I hope you like my new theme, too. ADIOS! *hugs* Avi of the Day:

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