Thursday, June 24, 2004

.......
Sorry i havent updated in a bit. I havent been in the best moods. I duno...how am i human?! Why do i act like i dont care?! Kelly my buddy and the first girl for me to kiss and make out with left today and i can feel all the pain inside me but i cant cry. I dont see how i am human. Im going to go into an episode again today. I know i will. I have noone to talk to. At 10am is probly first time i can talk to someone. I hope Kelly is ok. She has problems like me and have episodes. If you dont know waht episodes are its where you get very mad and pissy and your very depressed and u wanna kill yourself. We both have seen each outher in episodes yet i realy dotn think i can help her but i try as i might. Next year in school will be hard for me. Cus i changed. Noone knows but Kelly and Brittany, but i changed. Im not taking shit from people like i used to all the time. Yah you called me gay and im bi fuck you. I dont care. Im going to have a bad attitued at school and shit around friends. But im still going to be my nice sweet self at home. Lol Kelly is starting to rub off on me its sorta funny. Iv been listening to depressing music seince 4am cus thats the last time i got to talk to Kelly. I can feel my eyes wanting to water but i cant cry. I feel all the pain and it wont go away. Its giving me a head ache and i cant sing even tho i cant. I passed up the biggest event of all summer with Kelly cus im a dumbass. We were making out and for sumreason i stoped. I dont know why, and then we didnt do anything cus i was in the beginning stages of my episode. Lol i bet everyone thinks im pethtic, well i am. Mom is going to be up soon. GC Boys and Girls is on. I have like a few music vids now. I said screw some of the anime and i got music vids. D00d Sublime is so awsome. Even tho a few songs are nasty its still good. Everyone i know has a realation ship like bf and gf. Well i do but my "gf" is in michigan and isnt comming back till the 27 of june. I mean i havent even seen her yet. We probly wont last long but its ok. I pitty Matt becuse he has never had a gf in his life. And he says he is so sexy and the girls where he windsurfs are all over him. BULLSHIT MATT! Every girl in school hates u becuse your an ass. Maby if u changed your personality to something nicer then they may like you. My new "mask" is going to be mean but ill be nice to girls. I dont care if people think im gay as long as i have girls that like like me im good. Screw them they can go fuck themself. D00d i can even get a bf. I duno why people call me ugly then after a bit they talk to me more. I sould post a pic. Im sure all u girls are dieing to see my uglyness. OOOO July 10th is when my best friend Brittany is comming down hopefully. DAmnit it feels like sumone is crushing my temples. Its probly becuse i miss Kelly so much all ready. I mean i dont talk to people much online and i dont talk to people who live anywhere near me.
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Monday, May 31, 2004

D00d i woke up at 10pm today. im liek not going to sleep till like 3pm lol. Im like talking on the phone to sakura-chan and listeing to SAkura Saku. Lol its hard to hold a phone on your neck for a long time like this. But u get used to it after like ummm 200hours on the phone lol. Its all hot in my house i cant belive it. Im going t to die. D000d nothing on tv. I feel sick. I duno why but i feel so sick today. Yesterday i ran like 3miles. Lol i didnt even know i did it. I was just running form 6th-13th street twice. Lol it took me a liek a nhour to figure out the mileage on it. Cus gay mapquest said i didnt have enough info to do it. SO i pulled random numbers and i got a guess at about how far i went. Lol yah so what it could be like 2.5miles but does it look like i care. Nuuu i dont. Lol iv watched so much yaoi in the past few days. I like set a record. Lol im allways listeing to depressing music that makes u wanna cut. Lol. Ok ill write more later im to hyperish. I cant wait till 6ish am so i can go running again. Lol i didnt see a sand crab yesterday. I just triped over a sea shell and fell on my face. Lol i need to take a shower i didnt take one yesterday and i have alot of sand in my hair and stuff. D00d when is my mom going to go back into her room. I wanna close my door but if i do she freaks out on me.
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Friday, May 28, 2004

5am XDDD
D00d i was talking to Sakura like all night and everything and at like 4amish she is all like. "When are u going on your run come over here and i shall feed jew. Thats an order!!!"So i bow down to her and tell my mom im leaving early for my run on the beach and i take the cell phone. At like 4:54ish i walk down my stairs. They were all slippery and i fell down the stairs. I like was "WOW d00d WOW" Then i got up so i start running. &th 6th 5th 4th 3rd 2nd 1st Minuetman 1st 2nd 3 rd 4th then sum roads i down know. Like at 5:25ish im at her house. I stoped like umm ::Thinks:: at the resort on cocoa beach cus i was out of breath and was dieing and she called. So i get there and she isnt waiting! Lol so im stuck with old people for like 5min. They were all looking at me. I was in all black with a chain around my neck. Then she came and everything and it got all insane.Lol we wer talking about yaoi and stuff like that. Chii. XDD We were like "Chii?" to people who looked at us. Ummm some dude came and got mad at us cus there were rocks on the side walk and he was like "Kid did u put these rocks here?. me"NO ama i didnt but ill pick them up." Then he left and i was cracking up. I usealy dont get to call people a bitch and get rid of it. Ehhh ill write more cus im on da phone.
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.........I recover from heart burn. Wonderful. Nice greasy tacos. Give me a damn heart attack why dont cha?::sigh:: Im supposed to be asleep. Well fuck it and fuck you mom. Stupid person. This weekish im going to try to get out of the house away from mom all i can. She is going to be insane person on me and probly eat me alive. Im the avg depressed ugly 13yearould BI punk d00d anime freak person. Yesterday i threw up becuse i had to much asprin i think. I duno i just took one and i guess i didnt know i took another befor that. Then i started to get a bad taste in my mouth. I wanted to die. I hate throwing up. I hardly get sick. Usealy when i do im like allmost in hospital. Most thing ill get is sore throght thingy or heart burn i guess. I guess hear burn is a neddle in your hear that like stops u from breathing much/moving and is very pain full if u do
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Wednesday, May 26, 2004

   ....................................
Why is it every fucking time i start having a good day/week somone has to mess it up?! Grrr i wont get into details but u know who u are. Owell ill just be depressed Kyotoko like i was all school year. Im watching Trigun again. I have such a head ache. I dont know if i took an asprin yet. I dun wanna take more cus it will make me sick. D00d did i se this one today. Does it come on at like 1:30. I think it does. Owell ill watch this till 5:30is then ill go takea run at the beach. The beach is kinda scary when its allmost pitch black. Lol yesterday i wrote Fuck you like 3times on the beach. D00d i must clean my comp desk off soon. Its to full of cans. n.n Some one told me i sould just kill myself becuse i am worthless peice of shit. That realy made me feel so good. So i said fuck you to everyone and i went to sleep. Noone cared if anyone cared they would of called me. D00d its getting worse. ARGG!! ::dies:: HENTAI!!! OMG!! I rember Chirs brought shemale porn into school and he planted it on James's backpack. The stupid teacher didnt get him in troble. But it was sooooo funny. We all like died. James looked so pissed at me. In 7th period he smashed my head on my desk. It hurt so badly. I just layed there with my arms over my head for all class. I was like dead. James kept kicking me saying i was faking it. I didnt cry i wanted to so badly.
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Sunday, May 23, 2004

WEEe i have a headache like hell. I got the second Azumanga Daioh ep today!!. I havent watched it yet Im watching a movie that is like all machines are killing people. Must find my knife brb
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Saturday, May 22, 2004

Grrr i feel all the rage in my body. I dont know why im so pissed off. Im telling my friend all this kuso and its making it worse for sum reason. I just wanna go for a run but its past curfew and if im caught ill be liek arrested. 2:30 right now. I played a game for like 2hours and only got to 2nd lvl. I had to do it and lose no guys. Its not my fault. Im going to clean my knife. Its like probly nuuone will see my cuts. I know i probly wont cut but nuone gives a damn. Im not saying any names but u have pissed me off in the past few days. Well maby u wont come back to this school or u may. And i allso bet u read my little diary thiingy in my note book durning the exams. I dont care. Its your fault. GO BURN IN HELL. Everything. Im only getting hurt. Like 4 people are leaving this weekend. So tired. Pains in my chest and sholder. Duno why. Maby im having a heart attack who cares. My pulse is like 100 again. WEeeee im going to die. Lets all have a god damn party. "Kyotoko is dead!!" It will be a national holiday. All wars would stop for that one day to party becuse of my death. People at shool and on the internet tell me just to die. I think they are right. I mean why not....noone will miss me. I dont have a GF or anything. I have like 4 friends and like 2 or so becuse im kinda like making them made/them making me mad. GRrr well fuck it. I may write more if i feel like it
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.........
"With this knife, ill cut out the part of meee, the part that cares for you. " Smile empty soul. My friend is telling me to commit suicide. I dont know why. Im in a pissy mood and people arnt helping. Im worry to death about Chiyo. She has been all pissy in the past days. DAmnit, i wish i could cut. Cutting right now would be so good. Its been so long. Damn it is such a bad habbit. Yet it is something that brings u back to do it. GRrrr everyone is pissing me off. People fucking telling me im in a pissy mood. Ya know what people. TELLING ME I AM IN A PISSY MOOD WHEN IM NOT MAKES ME MORE PISSY. Grrrr I cant punch anything for sum reason when i punch anything my hand hurts like hell. Even soft punchs. Well i havent punched anything in like 4weeks. Im all sweaty right now. I sould go to bed soon. But no school so fuck that. Im sorry for all the cursing im just in a bad mood today. Its only 2:05 and im pissed. Arggggg i need to stop thinking it only makes things worse. My sholder hurts
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Friday, May 21, 2004

lol

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Very High
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Very High
Antisocial:	Moderate
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Very High
Dependent:	Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

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/\_/\

What will God say to you when you die?
Name
Age
Religion
You will say:	See I knew Elvis wouldn't be here...
He will say:	You thought you were alone... Nope. I saw you masturbating!
How much do you deserve to be in heaven? - 20%
This quiz by megalomein - Taken 980 Times.

New! Get Free Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

WOOOOOT DOOOOD!!! There is nothing to do. MY first day off of school and im bored as hell. Noone is on. I have noone to call. ARg im going to die!! HELP ME!! My games are boring i cant seem to get a few to work cus my comp is too "advance" it says. Well i think it jsut doesnt want me to play it cus it knows how bored i am. System of a down. Im listing to Chop Suey n.n Im going to die. Nothing is on tv. WHY ME!!!?!?!? Arg i cant go to the beach yet and i dun wanna go alone. Maby ill call paul and see if he wants to go to da beach. He probly isnt even home. MY mom is such an ama. Its like she thinks i know everything about marching band. My gosh she is like "Give me all the days u will be comming home late." God that got so annoying. Yesterday she tryed to start kuso with me on the phone at the band thingy. My neck hurts and so does my back. Stupid peeling skin. Its like all itchy ::scratch::. OMG SOMEONE IS ON. Ok dont panic deep breaths. In out in out. Wtf he just told me to jack off. Ok.....Why does like everyone tell me to do that when im bored?! God people are such hentais ^-^. Not meh. Im a goood boy. I never do anything wrong. Lol all lies. I seem to do everything wrong. Give me something to do and ill mess up on it. Its like allmost 8

[x] Part 1 -- The Basics [x]
What's your name? :::	Kyotoko
Birthplace :::	germany
Age :::	13
Age you act :::	uhhh duno
Current location :::	cocoa beach
Eye color :::	brown
Hair color :::	brown
Right, lefty or ambidextrous? :::	ambidextrous but for what....
Zodiac sign? :::	leo
Height? :::	umm like 5'5
[x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x]
Your heritage/nationality :::	duno
Your hair :::	is dead?
Your fears :::	ummmm preps
Your perfect room :::	uhh duno
What you practically do in a day :::	sleep
[x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x]
Words you overuse :::	baka yaro!!
Phrases you overuse :::	burn in hell prep
Your first thought when you wake up :::	Grrr why didnt i die!!!!?!?!?!
Your greatest accomplishment :::	putting meh food behind meh head
Something you want to do :::	sleep
[x] Part 4 -- This or that [x]
Pepsi or Coke :::	root beer
McDonald's or Burger Kings :::	taco bell
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera :::	Brittany powell
Chocolate or vanilla :::	vanilia
Adidas or Nike :::	cheep shoes
Black or white :::	white
Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) :::	bills
Burgers or hot dogs :::	WEENIES
Egypt or France :::	ummm japan
Rock or rap :::	metal
[x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x]
Smoke :::	nuuu
Cuss :::	HELL YA
Sing well :::	XDDD nuuu
Sing in the shower :::	yes
Talk to yourself --a lot-- :::	YES YES YESo.o;;; alot in class
Believe in yourself :::	no
Like taking these longass surveys? :::	sure got nothing better to do
Play an instrument :::	flute and trumpet
Want to go to college? :::	ya
Want to get married? :::	ya
Want to have children? :::	ummm if i dont have to raise them
Think you're a health freak? :::	nuuu
Get along with your parents :::	FUCK NO. MOM IS A PHYSCOPATH AMA!!
Get along with your siblings? :::	nuu
Think you're popular :::	Oyes i just have like people walk up to me and say i hate you
[x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x]
Gone out of state :::	yes
Drank alchohal :::	yes
Smoke :::	no
Get high :::	no
Done any drugs :::	no
Eaten an entire box of oreos :::	yes!
Been on stage :::	yes
Gone skinny dipping :::	no
Been dumped :::	yes
Dyed your hair :::	no
Stolen anything :::	YESYESYSE DOLLOR STORE!!! XDD
[x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x]
Craziest :::	ummm sakura
Loudest :::	deborah
Most shy :::	chidori
Blondest :::	deborah
Smartest :::	chiyo
Kindest :::	duno alot
Best personality :::	chiyo
Most talented :::	chiyo
Best singer :::	umm chiyo i think
Most ghetto :::	MEEE!!
Drama Queen ((or King XP)) :::	ummm sushi
Pain in the ass :::	deborah
The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style)):::	deborah
Funniest :::	sakura
Best person for advice :::	ummm sakura or chiyo
Dependable :::	chiyo
Trustworthy :::	sakura
Druggie :::	deborah
Most likely to end up in jail :::	deborah
Person you've known the longest :::	chiyo
[x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x]
Last dream :::	i died
Last nightmare :::	everyone hated me
Car ride :::	mom was buzed
Last time you cried :::	today
Last movie seen :::	uhh dun rember
Last movie rented :::	lol dun rember
Last book read :::	Cowboy bebop
Last word said :::	rawr
Last curse word said :::	fucker
Last time you laugh :::	yesterday
Last phone call :::	yesterday
Last CD played :::	none
Last song you listened to :::	evanescence My immortal
Last annoyance :::	duno
Last IM :::	PaintballTgr [8:42 AM]: we only had to do 250
Last weird encounter :::	today
Last person you hugged :::	like i havent hunged anyone in like 3months
Last person you yelled at :::	deborah
Last time you wore a skirt :::	ooo let meh tell ya
Last time you've been evil :::	today
Sarcastic? :::	no
Last time you fought with your parents :::	yesterday
Last time you wished upon a star :::	never
Played Truth or Dare :::	years
Spent quality time alone :::	everyday
[x] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [x]
Are you talking to someone on AIM :::	yes
Do you feel lonely :::	yes i wanna kill my self...
Ever TP'd someone's house :::	YES XDD!!
How about egging someone's house :::	i have XD
Do you not like dislike not like me? :::	I LUB UUUU!!
Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? :::	THEY SUCK RAP SUCKS!!
Yo Momma :::	have her
Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? :::	welll i did....
What do you think of George Bush? :::	so sexy lol
Any secret fetishes? :::	lol
Do you like to wear chains? O_o :::	yes
How many languages do you speak? :::	4
Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! :::	XD bring it on
Glad this is over? ((Say yes and I'll stalk you =P)) :::	yes STALK ME

Bored? ((Over 100 questions)) brought to you by BZOINK!
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