Thursday, June 24, 2004

.......
Sorry i havent updated in a bit. I havent been in the best moods. I duno...how am i human?! Why do i act like i dont care?! Kelly my buddy and the first girl for me to kiss and make out with left today and i can feel all the pain inside me but i cant cry. I dont see how i am human. Im going to go into an episode again today. I know i will. I have noone to talk to. At 10am is probly first time i can talk to someone. I hope Kelly is ok. She has problems like me and have episodes. If you dont know waht episodes are its where you get very mad and pissy and your very depressed and u wanna kill yourself. We both have seen each outher in episodes yet i realy dotn think i can help her but i try as i might. Next year in school will be hard for me. Cus i changed. Noone knows but Kelly and Brittany, but i changed. Im not taking shit from people like i used to all the time. Yah you called me gay and im bi fuck you. I dont care. Im going to have a bad attitued at school and shit around friends. But im still going to be my nice sweet self at home. Lol Kelly is starting to rub off on me its sorta funny. Iv been listening to depressing music seince 4am cus thats the last time i got to talk to Kelly. I can feel my eyes wanting to water but i cant cry. I feel all the pain and it wont go away. Its giving me a head ache and i cant sing even tho i cant. I passed up the biggest event of all summer with Kelly cus im a dumbass. We were making out and for sumreason i stoped. I dont know why, and then we didnt do anything cus i was in the beginning stages of my episode. Lol i bet everyone thinks im pethtic, well i am. Mom is going to be up soon. GC Boys and Girls is on. I have like a few music vids now. I said screw some of the anime and i got music vids. D00d Sublime is so awsome. Even tho a few songs are nasty its still good. Everyone i know has a realation ship like bf and gf. Well i do but my "gf" is in michigan and isnt comming back till the 27 of june. I mean i havent even seen her yet. We probly wont last long but its ok. I pitty Matt becuse he has never had a gf in his life. And he says he is so sexy and the girls where he windsurfs are all over him. BULLSHIT MATT! Every girl in school hates u becuse your an ass. Maby if u changed your personality to something nicer then they may like you. My new "mask" is going to be mean but ill be nice to girls. I dont care if people think im gay as long as i have girls that like like me im good. Screw them they can go fuck themself. D00d i can even get a bf. I duno why people call me ugly then after a bit they talk to me more. I sould post a pic. Im sure all u girls are dieing to see my uglyness. OOOO July 10th is when my best friend Brittany is comming down hopefully. DAmnit it feels like sumone is crushing my temples. Its probly becuse i miss Kelly so much all ready. I mean i dont talk to people much online and i dont talk to people who live anywhere near me.
Comments (1)