Friday, December 7, 2007

   Me and antonio
ok im having alot of thoughts...and debating on whether or not im staying with this guy or not..im gettin sick of his bullshi*....ive already got enough stress in my life i dont need him addin onto it...im just so confused
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Thursday, December 6, 2007

   please pray
for little gracie as best as you can....they say that this is their last round of antibiotics and that if this doesnt work they arent sure what else would....they are running out of options very fast..i cant lose her and i do NOT want to add a banner with her name on it for my "in loving memory of" section on my myspace profile..i have one for my ex, and 2 best freinds..i could never do it for my sister...so please PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!! pray for her....i dont care if you know her or not...she needs it
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Wednesday, December 5, 2007

   grace is still in the hospital
and im still going to be rather quiet till she gets out like i said before....i dont know if i told you that she had a negative reaction to her antibiotics, but when they first gave it to her they said it can burn kids vains, and thats exactly what it was doing, she went red from head to toe almost instantly, she got really itchy, and her fever shot up like a rocket, because they were giving it to her way too fast...but they slowed it down and she is doing better. i am going to see her again today...she was asking about me alot they said...and im miserable after seeing her like that....so please pray that she gets better....


deepest sorrows,
coon
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Monday, December 3, 2007

   please pray
my little sister is in the hospital again and has been admitted for her 3rd surgery. she is only 3 years old and her (along with my bro) are my life, i made a promise to stay strong for them, but its too hard. i was already depressed enough as it is and this made it worse..i cant only take so much pain and i am nearing my breaking point very quickly!!!!
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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

   happy thanksgiving
so what you guyz gonna do for thanksgivin??? im spending half the day (am) with my dad and his side of the family (aka my bro sis stepmom and his parents) then the other half (pm) with my mom and her side (her parents my aunt uncle and cousin my other aunt n her gf etc)
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Monday, November 19, 2007

   why does love lead to nothing but heartbreak...
i loved a guy....but because of the life he chose..i cant be with him....i had to leave him and try to move on....but its not working...now.....i cant sleep at night.....ive been depressed.....and i feel like i have nothing ~cries~ i dont know what to do....i feel like dying right now ='(
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Sunday, November 11, 2007

   well...
i am going to get off..its been a long night...goodnight everyone
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Wednesday, November 7, 2007

about a boy named brad
"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't...it never was."

-Tu Pac



I remember everything

Everything you did or said

I remember when you would hug me or kiss me

When you laughed with me when I was happy, or just held me close when I was sad

I also remember the promise you made me...the promise you swore to keep

Your promise to hold me close and never let go...and NEVER let go...

But you let go....you walked away and left me all alone...

And all alone I waited...I waited for you, hoping that you would come back...

I waited for hours...hours led to days...and days soon turned to weeks...

And there I was...still waiting for your return...

Weeks then led to months....and months led to years...

And I still waited for you...right where you left me...

I didn't give up...hoping you would come back and hold me like you used to....but you never did...

Weeks passed and seasons changed....but I still stayed there and waited for you

For two years I waited....every day saying that this would be the day you'd come back...

But...you never came back....I told myself I wouldn't give up...but when I realized you weren't coming back...I had no where else to go...no other choice to make....

And now! After two long years! You finally decide to come back to me...you finally decide to tell me how you truely feel...expecting me to feel the same...

But no...

I waited for you...and you didn't come....

You lost your chance...I didn't want to wait anymore...

So just like you.....I left....

And I NEVER looked back.
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and yet another one
You are living in a lie...a trap...
In a cage of your own emotions...
You tell me you love me...but you deny the truth..
You are hurting...your heart slowly breaking...everytime you say to me...
"I love you"
Why don't you just accept the fact that you do not truely love me?
I have...
The heart is a deceitful thing...you only think that you love me
And thus, you are believing something...that isn't real
If you love me...then why did you leave me?
If you want to hold me...why did you ever let go?
If you wanted to kiss me...why did you always turn away?
And when you said...together...forever...
Did you realize that forever...really isn't forever?
Like every piece of time...forever has an end...
So do not say you love me...do not say forever...
Because it is a lie...a lie you believed and allowed to grow...
You allowed it to trap your heart and consume your emotions...
and now...I'm setting it free...

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   nother poem
Here we are again...
After all these years...here we are...
We are older now...and more mature..
You've found love I see...and I hear you're engaged...
I'm happy for you...but...what about me?
You promised to love me forever...all those years ago...
But I guess forever...really isn't forever...is it?
You were always the only one for me...and I wish you could have said the same...
You tell me to move on...that was the past...
But true love...is not supposed to be a thing of "the past"...
True love is supposed to be eternal...
But wait...that means...
Then it wasn't true...I was just a place holder...
Untill you found her...the one you REALLY loved...
It took me all these years to see it...but now...
I do...
Love...is just a foolish emotion...
It only leads one to heartbreak...whether it's you...
them.....
a jealous friend......
anyone.................
Why did I fall into your trap?
Why did I believe that you truely loved me?
When it was just the opposite...well I've learned now...
And never again...will I be loves prisoner...

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