Monday, April 18, 2005

Everytime you start your car, it sounds like a drive-by runnin' past here.
More of the same, but... a bit different?



I dont remember the exact specifics of my dream, but the morbid parts, they're haunting me even though I really dont remember them. I just remember the feelings of the experiences and such; tis those parts that are sticking on me.


And about the guy from this morning: I was wearing a shirt that wasnt flattering, let alone the fact my sports bra is so old that my boobs are practically falling out; my pants are too big and basicly unflattering. I had my hair up and I was dressed for the gym. X_+


When the guy said that stuff to me, my mind momentarily went blank while my autoresponse kicked in, with the "Sorry, no." And then I was like "What the fuck? X_+", and then the overwhelming bit happend. It didnt happen for very long; only a minute or two at the most. But uh, yeah. I figured the guy was lying, or like one of those weird/freaky-sick/horny as hell guys that have a habit of trying to bother me most Friday nights, after class.


It reminded me of when in elementary/highschool, kids used to dare cute/hott boys to ask me out. They would; I would say no, because I knew it had to be fake, a joke, a lie, a dare. There had to be money involved somewhere; their pride at stake.

Most of the boys, they were extremely persistent. No matter how many forms of the word no I would use, they would beg and plead, like I was actually worth the effort. In the first few times, and the ones who were very good actors, I would wonder if it was actually possible, that somone that I found attractive would think the same of me, as well.


Heh. No matter how they finished their cruel perverted jokes off, there was always laughing and jeering involved. And I always beat myself up for even thinking or wishing.... anything I could have been.


In no way am I asking for pity, hell no. It's...just...what I remember. It's just what happend before, a long time ago.

Yeah, a long time ago, by immature pricks who, well, acted like boys. *gestures*

I also mean that if I go any further with what my head is stuffed with, well, the stuff in there is stupid; I already know it is. Hah, I know it's stupid to think the things that I am, and yet I dont/wont/cant stop? I couldnt help but let some slip here and there today, when I was with Sarah, and I think at this point she might want to hurt me, if not desire to cause at least some bodily harm. =X

Emo shit and whatever. You guys arent missing anything.


I'm still very raging angry, but mostly at Aleia for being a damn fool; an idiot, for wishing and setting herself up.

Hopefully, it'll be over soon.




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Abby Normal

As in:

Alright, then. Who's brain did I put in there?

I think they were named.... Abby Normal something.



Last night, I watched Young Frankenstien, by myself and in the dark, and after that, The Holy Grail, which is one of my favorite movies. For both movies I had to stifle my giggling, as...everyone else was asleep.


Maybe the fact that the kids put on some of Holloween II before they went to bed, before I put on Young Frankenstien, that I had yet another weird dream. By weird, I mean weirder than the usual 0_o


I dreamed that something happend in which I died. Somehow, I was in a dangerouse situation, and me dying happend pretty frequently, and it could be half prevented if I hiccuped. But because I didnt hiccup at a crucial moment, I died completely, meaning my ghost form couldnt hold physical things, and I couldnt talk to normal people.


The other person I was with died completely died very soon after I did, and for the life of me, I cant remember who it was =\


In the end, my dream was extremely morbid, in every way imaginable.


*shrugs*


So I woke up feeling funny-odd, and got ready for school/the gym. While I was walking to school I was listening to my headphones, so I was rather suprised to all of a sudden notice this really expensive looking car driving near the sidewalk and was following me. The guy inside looked as if he wanted to ask me something, so I took my headphones off and stopped. I figured he was going to ask for directions or something or other. He leaned over and said "Hey, my name is Cliff and I find you very attractive. Is there any chance of me having your phone number?"

I all of a sudden got a heavy feeling in my tummy and I automaticly said "No, sorry." The guy drove away, and I all of a sudden had to try to calm myself down. Everything, the whole situation, it felt like a slap in the face, and I dont know why.


It really upset me too, and I dont know the answer to that, either.


*Sighs and hugs herself tightly*


Over the weekend, I was talking to the girl that lives two blocks from me, Sarah. She noticed I was acting off (I never said anyone couldn't =\) and eventually, because I wouldnt tell her specifics, I felt kinda bad when she started to name names in this way.

Sarah: Maybe you dont feel like talking about whatever it is, because you arent close to anyone around here. Like maybe if, say *Insert name here* was standing right here *points to spot right next to us*, you would tell *insert gender here* everything.

Aleia: No, I believe I'd have the same attitude towards them as well. =\ *Explains about how she's oddly more open online than she is on the phone, and then moreso than IRL*

MyO > IM > phone > Face to face.

Most of the time, anyways.

And I think the situation and who it is I'm talking to helps. =X


And with everything. *Throws up hands*


But I felt kinda bad, from the stuff she said, the expression on her face when she said it, the hurt in her voice she did a terrible job of hiding. She tried to make the person she named sound like she pulled it out of the air, like it was completely random, but I can tell the way she said it that she'd been thinking that for at least a while. She's not a good liar. <.<


Heh. I have to go now, so I might end up editing this later.



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Saturday, April 16, 2005

On an active search for trouble


Walked home last night relatively late. I was so raging angry inside, my hands were clenched into fists, hidden inside my sleeves (It was also pretty cold out =\ ), and I believe I probably stormed home, as opposed to walked.

Oooo, I was so waiting for some bastard to call out “Hey sexy, come here ^_~”, cause I would have went there, and I would’ve popped him one.

So last night was the first time in….forever, that no one bothered me at night, while I walked home by myself.

Today, with smoldering anger inside and a much clearer mind, I believe that is an extremely fortunate thing. As much as I felt the extremely strong irrepressible need to pummel someone, being short, kinda small, and…not knowing exactly how strong I am and stuff, taking it out on the streets in the dark to an unpredictable male stranger really wouldn’t have been the best way to go about things ^.^ *Sweatdrops*

I was really tired and worn out, when I got home around 10. Read a book for an hour and a half, and tried to deal with all this stuff I have inside. I would say in the past month, I haven’t been able to feel much of anything on my own. I mean, I only feel things if there is a situation that I am directly involved in, and something happens that warrants a reaction such as anxiety or anger, or if some dumbass says or does something that strikes a particular something in me. And when I do feel any emotion, it feels…well, the best way I can describe it is that the emotion feels hollow, like an echo. Like I am feeling it from a distance, and it feels the only way to get over this high and dry point of the strong yet hollow emotion is to feel it fully, in its entirety, and because I am feeling it as from a distance, it is impossible. And so I am extremely frustrated.

And there isn’t any way to let anything out. Everything is trapped inside and growing worse and worse, and I can’t find any way that’s long term and not health endangering as a form of release. I want to cry when I am alone, I feel so weary, so worn and old and tired, but I can’t. It feels like I’m broken or something.

There are things about me that have started changing. How I feel about people, my relationships with my friends, the people I love; it feels as if, at least for now, my heart has pretty much taken a distant not very emotional handle, in dealing with them. Oh, I still greatly care about the well-being of the people I love; I just don’t feel very…emotional about them. Like if anyone was to suddenly turn on me, or say something hurtful, it really wouldn’t affect me much, and I half wonder if I would respond in a harsh callous manner. But I lack wit, so coming from me, it won’t be all that big a deal. At the most, it might amount to a pinprick, as opposed to the blows in the gut that I’ve been dealt before. *Roles eyes*

But it isn't that way fully, not yet. There are still little loopholes in that system, and as of this morning, it feels like my insides are working on that. 0_o

I’m fighting the urge to cut myself off from almost everyone I know. It would be mostly online people, because I only know a few people offline, and it would be much easier to avoid people online than, say, the girl that lives two blocks from me. I could avoid her a lot of the time, as she isn’t allowed over to my house/allowed to call (my uncle says, but I’m half afraid that might not stop her u.u), but the fact that she…lives way too close, I pretty much have to pass by her street go to anywhere, and she knows where I go to school/the gym I go to and stuff.

But that’s not the point. I wouldn’t be avoid people out of something stupid, like self pity. When I am like this, I can’t deal with most people. My temper is non-existent, as is my sociability. I really have no desire to talk to anyone; I have nothing to talk about. But because I somehow have an ability to mask things to an extent, I can deal with people face to face without going off on anyone or giving much away. Giving much away, meaning...I dont know. I'm oddly more open, when writing with my O, than I can be with people IRL, on the phone, or on AIM, when I am like this. It feels very painful, extremly forced to do otherwise.

With everyone that I live with wrapped in their own little world and preoccupied with everything else, they honestly won’t notice anything wrong with me, and if they do, they won’t think it’s that big and wont care/wont say anything. *Laughs* I’m being serious; my uncle doesn’t notice me unless I’m late or something, or he suddenly realizes that he needs to talk to me about one of the hundred aspects of myself that he feels I need to change, to be a better person, and my aunt has her problems and has to deal with 5 kids that mostly don’t listen to her. Unless something happens, like there was a few times that I woke up crying, and that scared the kids and they went and told their parents and my aunt would ask me if something was wrong. But thank goodness that didn’t happen that often, and it wasn’t like I controlled that or anything. =\

Heh. It’s fact for me now, that I can’t sleep until I am past the point of extreme mental exhaustion. Every night, I’m afraid I’ll make it till the morning, and I can’t go to sleep normal unless I take a lot of Benadryle or take a sleeping pill. The not able to sleep part has happened long before I started trying to take stuff to make me go to sleep, and I’m afraid I’ll become dependent or addicted to that kind of stuff, if I’m not already. =\

Geez, am I one piece of work.


I am going crazy, with all this excessive crazy restless energy that I have. I dont know what to do with myself or how to get rid of it; the energy is driving me out of my mind. It's literally making me not myself, not one bit.





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Friday, April 15, 2005

Once upon a time there was a little duckie.
And one day, the little duck went into the extremely dirty city called Jersey City.

The little duck could only think of one single word that could summarize everything about this odd city perfectly.

And so the little duck said “Quack!”

Nearby, a group of people that had heard the little duck started scrambling around in circles, hollering “Where?!? Where?!?!?”


Aye aye aye. Woke up early this morning from a weird dream (I’ve been having a lot of those lately; wonder why?) to the littlest cousin violently crying about her socks being ugly.

As she does every single morning. Actually, that’s how/why I wake up at 7am on school days <.<


Helped my aunt some more with the moving out of stuffs; rushed off to catch the bus, to catch the train, to catch the bus for a 45-50 minute ride that would take me to class.

Walk three blocks to get to the building, to have to sign an attendance sheet at the security desk because the teacher didn’t show up.

Had to take another bus back. u.u

*smacks forehead*

Actually, I feel funny odd right now, so I’ll leave off at that.

Prolly go to the gym tomorrow.

w00t.

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Thursday, April 14, 2005

Scootch over; you're hogging up too much of the island.
To set things strait:

No, I am not a feminist-Nazi. I abandoned the Amazonian warrior attitude at….

Well, a very long time ago. I was such a dork, back then. =X


I used the term “baby factory”, a derogatory term towards women, because it seems the type of women guys with that mind frame marry never had an original thought in their head, and aren’t in any danger of doing so, because they are the kind that follow their father/brothers/husband/version of religion taught to them blindly and without question.

In that manner, the women are pretty stupid. Oh, they could be brilliant acedemicly, as excelling with math and science runs very very heavy on my dad’s side of the family (And it skipped me! How could it have skipped me?!? *mild agony*)

In current day, the more “modern” guys let/encourage their daughters *cough* or nieces *cough* to go to college, earn some degrees, have a career for a year or two, then they are expected to settle fast for a good Muslim guy. Love isn’t a requirement for marriage; I’ve been told that by quite a few people.

Like my conservative aunt. In various speechings/talks, she’s told me that the only two important questions the girl should ask the guy is if he follows the 5 pillars of Islam, and if he smokes. If the first one is yes and the second one no, then there shouldn’t be any problem in me marrying him.

Aleia: What if he doesn’t want kids, and I do?

Aunt: It’s his will, his choice. You have to follow it.

Aleia: What if he wont let me keep my friends? What if he expects me to stay home all day, cleaning, cooking and sewing? And I’m only given a strict tight allowance for grocery shopping?

Aunt: If he feels it’s important, then he will let you do it. All decisions are up to him.


I wash my hands of the whole situation, because it’s extremely hopeless/pathetic on all different levels.

I mean, if I have kids, I plan on being a stay at home mom till the littlest one is in school. Secretly, I kinda look forward to that, being a stay at home mom =X

But I really don’t like the idea of being tied home. I would want to take my kids outside sometimes, yeah? And contrary to my uncle, my idea of fun isn’t grocery shopping. <.<

And…I don’t very much like the idea of asking permission from my husband, to do/buy anything. Not that I should be able to buy anything I want whenever, but especially if it’s the money that he is earning…

I mean, if I had a job and he had a job, some of the money from both of us would go towards bills and huge purchases.

Eh. I guess I mean to say is that I don’t like the idea of being like a 5 year old with a 50-cent allowance, and needing one quarter more to buy something small for themselves.


*Looks at time*


Gotta finish 4 English projects. >.<

English projects = Painful. I don’t know why, but it’s hard to force myself to do them. =X


Edit: My cramps are so very much overwhelming me in constant persistence-ness right now ;_;

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

From the bottom of my inflatable heart
Ack. I was so incredibly sleepy tired this morning. My uncle woke me up with the usual "Don't you have school today, Aleia?"

Let myself oversleep a bit, got up, mad dash, rush rush rush, walk walk walk steep uphill and narrow-ish back streets...


To find that the proffessor didnt even show. Class was cancelled by default.


I found that happend last Wednesday too, when I was sick. So inside, I'm torn. There's "Damn, a break comes along and I'm not here" and then there's "Yay, I catch a break when I'm really sick, cause he wasn't here!"


I wonder if word got out before this morning, because only like 5 people even bothered to show. *shrugs*



I had a strange dream, in which I went to different countries. I remember strongly going to Germany and maybe even Ireland, but I remember it was more than that, mostly in Europe. I dont remember the details of what I did in the different countries, when we landed, but I remember listening to the local music and buying a few cd's.

Oh! And how we got around from country to country. Somone I know was flying a small private airplane. I think at certain points, it was me who was doing the flying, and it felt like driving a car...but not quite.

And when we'd get low on gas and stuff (Drinks and food and...bathroom breaks 0.o), we would fly low and stop at a hanger, where me and some other people would go in to get stuff started and ready, so the airplane could get fixed up and whatever else needed done.

It seemed most of the places were warm, as when I left the plane and went around I was wearing shoes with no socks (I hate doing that, wearing shoes without socks u.u) and pants and a shirt. But there was one time I got out of the plane, and it was blizzarding fiercly, and I was really really cold, but not as cold as I should have been, it being a blizzard.

In all honesty, I think at that point the kids were leaving for school and left the doors wide open. I was a teensy bit awake at the time, and...somehow remember it.


....What? It was very chilly this morning. <.<;;;


*Cough*


I dont remember who exactly was in my dream, but I do remember my uncle leaving me behind when he took everyone shopping, because everyone shoved all their things under my bed, and so he assumed I left the place a mess with my things.


*shrugs*


You know what? About a month or so ago, extremly soon after my mom's dad died, my mom told my aunts and uncles what happend, what her dad did to me and my sisters.

And it fucking pisses me off that it was then that everyone finally believed everything I've been saying all this time, without a trace of doubt in their mind.

I found this out, because one of my aunts was talking to me, and she said "Oh yeah, I was talking to your mom the other night, and she confessed to everything that you said, that everything you said really happend."

Aleia: ......So this whole time, no one really believed me?

Aunt: Well, there was a lot of doubt, because no one else besides you said anything. But we believe it now, because your mom admitted to it.

Aleia: *Softly crumbles inside*

What, is it secret family beliefe that I'm a chronic liar, or that stupid that I'd spin stories on such a grand scale?


It's great to know that I never had any validity with any of the adults. Maybe that's why my uncle always has and still does treat me with heavy mistrust.

Uncle: And where were you? >:|

Aleia: ...I was at school. 0.o;;

Uncle: Lies! Quite telling your stories >:O


That kind of mindframe brings to mind some sort of fucked up Hadith concerning adultery.

From what I remember, I read where the book said "Rape is only validated when there are witnesses to attest that what occured was indeed rape. If there are no witnesses, then it isnt considered rape, and is thus adultery. If the woman accuses the man of raping her, and he denies it, and there are no witnesses, then it is adultery, and they should be punished as accordingly."


Something like that. But it really pissed me off. And there had to be like two or three witnesses to the occurence, to say whether it was rape or not. Bloody hell.


Know what? To hell with the adults. I think the only people that believed me when it was important were the few friends I told at the time.


And I guess that's all that matters.


Oh, now that I'm thinking about that stupid Hadith, I think that the way Islam portrays poligimy is complete BS. It's ok for guys to have muliple wives? So he can have his own private harem/baby factory, mass produce tens upon tens of kids, raise the moms to raise the kids to be good Muslims, the kids grow up, and thus spread the religion.

Honestly, there's this guy around here, he has 4 wives and like 20 kids.


My uncle and his sister believe firmly into it. The reason why it's ok for guys to have multiple wives, and not for women to have multiple husbands?

Because the guy with multiple wives, all the kids are his. It is easily known who the mother and father are, in that scenario.

With the girl with multiple husbands, you cant tell who the father is, and chaos and corruption of family values will ensue.

Plus it makes her look like a trashy street girl, with all those guys. I mean!

It makes her look not that good, in the eyes of the people is what I meant. *nods*


Seems religion is mostly tailored for guys, mhm?

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Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Things are so bad that even the pet rock ran away.
It currently lives comfortably amongst the dandylions.


One time during a conversation, I was half singing along to a song on the radio, when the other person exclaimed "What's that horrible screeching noise?!?!"

Aleia: Rwar! Shut up! >:O

The same person has recently told me that my voice puts people to sleep, and if I ever have an insomnia problem, to tape myself rambling and play it back to myself. But before I played it back, I had to make sure I was in a safe lying down position, so I wouldnt suddenly fall over and say, crack my head off of something, get a concussion and bleed to death.

All this, from the sound of my voice. *roles eyes*

And when I went to refute that point, they quickly interupted me with "Oh, what? Sorry, I was sleeping."

I admit, it was pretty funny, but that doesnt change the fact that I need to learn...Stuff.


*Goes off to find a teacher of Stuffs*


Anyways. Good thing I never take anything they say seriousely. XP


Aye, I believe I am going to be helping my aunt on Wednesday, with moving things out of her appartment. So I might have access to AIM or something, late afternoon.

Maybe maybe.


To prevent rambling in emotistical mode, the post pretty much stops here.


Everyone: But Aleia, you're always either emo, feeling funny and or feeling off. And a lot of times, all together at once! =O

Aleia: *Beats Everyone with a bat* STFU =D

Yeah, you too.

And while you're recovering from the beating, STFU. ^.^





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Monday, April 11, 2005

The Great Basselope


The Basselope owns you in all ways possible, and you know it.


*Sigh* When I said about how you can’t paint a picture of someone only using paint one person has given you, I wasn’t referring to that in an extreme literal sense. I meant that in no way can you correctly judge someone by what one person says about them. Hell, you can’t really judge anyone by what people say alone, by gossip, their “reputation”. The only time you can correctly make a judgement about someone is if you talk to them, get to know them yourself.


Sometimes, I wonder if I am as see through as a piece of glass. If I am predictable, if I am run of the mill common.


Sunday, went to the mall, to get headphones for my cd player.

Aye, my one and only cd player. My aunt found it in the van. Funny how it got there. Somehow, I had two rechargeable batteries in there and one of them….escaped? I bet it’s somewhere down the road, hitchhiking by now. Tsk!

Took along a friend to the mall, the one that lives like two blocks away. Her sister came, and it was a pretty interesting time.

Oh Ken, I smacked ‘that girl’. I told her I had to smack her; she asked why and from whom, and she immediately answered her own question. She stood there with a brave face, braced herself, and said “Ok, go ahead!”

Aleia: Stop it, you can’t do that! >:O

But I got around to it. I don’t think she really learned anything, so oh well.

That reminds me. She’s currently acting in a way that reminds me pretty much of my attitude when I was….13, until I was….16?

*cough*kindasortaveryimmatureinanamizontypeofway*cough*

It’s excruciatingly painful to watch/be witness to, and I’ve told her so. u.u


I know my uncle is very, very racist. So I still don’t quite understand my reaction of “Oh my goodness, I can’t believe I’m hearing him say this”, as I sit there and hear him make extremely racist comments.

Ah well. *shrugs*


You know, sometimes when I talk, it seems no one is listening. I get frustrated and feel like yelling, and then it seems no one is there.


Odd stuff, odd stuff.


Lately, I’ve been thinking about Heath and David, two kids I knew from elementary, when I first moved from here. When I first met them, we were 11 and 12, and they were much shorter than me. Of course they eventually (And pretty quickly, I might add) grew plenty taller than me, and that became a source of amusement for them. *wrinkles nose*

*Remembers an incident, during lunch line*

Heath: *talks about something*

David: *adds to conversation*

Aleia: *has to look up, when she talks to them, and adds in her two cents*

David: Hey Heath, did you hear something?

Heath: Maybe; it mighta been just a squeak noise

David: Maybe it was just the wind.

Heath: Yeah, prolly. Anyways, what were you saying?

Aleia: Rwar! That’s not funny! >:O

Heath and David: *Laugh and continue the conversation*


Around this time, it would be that I’ve known them for 9 years now. That’s a long time to know someone, outside of immediate family.

Funny thing is, there are a few people that I’ve known for, say, around a year or two, and I know those people more intimately than I know Heath and David. I feel like I barely know them, now that I think about it.

Time can be pretty irrelevant, when it comes to knowing someone.

And it’s funny how certain aspects of people never seem to change.


....I kinda realized the cd that my cousin deftly pitched God knows where, it had...really good songs on there. Like Everlong and Perry Mason, to name a few. I dont think I have them anywhere else, asides from that cd. =\


And now they're gone for now.


But I will (try) to get my songs again!


Because music means a lot to me. Indeed indeed.


A few months ago, it was almost dark, when I was walking home from class. I was walking down Sip, lost in thought, when I accidentally kicked a rock. I watched in awe as the rock was flipping and skipping in place. I really enjoyed myself, kicking it down countless blocks, till it developed a tendency to skip off into the heavy traffic, where I had to rescue it quite a few times. For safekeeping, I nestled it in a small niche between these two Arabic stores, and every time I pass by, I check on it, to see if it’s still there.

I showed my rock to my friend, and where it was stored. It struck me, while I was showing her and telling her about it, how I could come off as really….weird. Or eccentric. *laughs*


My friend, her sister and me were walking past the store yesterday, when we saw my rock was gone. =\


Ah well. If it was meant to be, it will be.

With my luck though, I’ll find it again because someone woulda thrown it at my head or something XD


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Saturday, April 9, 2005

Dizzy wayward coaster rides

- What makes somone qualified to give advice?




- You can't make a picture of somone only from the paint one person has given you. Everyone is all sorts of different shades; some colors can be seen only by certain people.


More tomorow, maybe.
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Friday, April 8, 2005

It's always better when there's feelings involved





Tuesday: What did I do Tuesday? Feels like forever ago. Oh yeah, went to English, took a practice end of exam test. Got out of class much much earlier than expected, because of that test. On any other day, this would have been great! More time for Aleia! But not that day, because I promised someone that I would meet up with them at 3pm, after my class.

So I sat around, waiting. After an hour, I wondered if she had even left the state she was living in previously. I mean, when I had talked to her the week before, she said she was coming back home on Monday, and I never checked to confirm if she had even come back to Jersey City…which would be a small minor detail that would prevent her from meeting me after class, yeah? =P

I haven’t seen this girl since….October, November? And the first thing I could think of to say to her was “I don’t know whether to smack you or hug you”

How sweet am I. *roles eyes*

So we hung out and saw the movie, Sin City.

Which rocked my socks a million times over. I loved too many things about this movie. I am not one to say that I like action films, but this one…wow.

Yes wow. It was that good. You should watch it. *nods*


Wednesday: Woke up and….was completely sick.

Oh goodness goodness. *shakes head*

Heh. I ruined my perfect attendance, by missing school. And yesterday too, I might add.

I know, I know, missing two days and…four classes isn’t going to kill my record. And I have forced myself to go before, when I was really sick and could still move and whatever. But I wanted to make an almost perfect record, because in case some of my grades aren’t that great, when I transfer, the college I wanna go to would at least… I dunno. I’m weird, shut up.

*sighs*

I was freezing cold all day. Some of the kids that came in the house were like “Aleia, are you crazy?!?!? It’s boiling hot outside, and you’re inside covered with two heavy blankets?!? What’s wrong with you?? =O ”

Aleia: No, it’s not hot, it’s freezing cold! Shut the door please! And why are all the windows in the house open?!?!? *Whimpers and buries herself in the blankets, huggling the radio*

Radio: Wow, it’s so warm outside today, about 70 degrees, it is!

Aleia: LIES! ALL LIES! >:O


*cough*

I was told by my aunt that I maybecouldakindasorta had a high fever. With nothing in the house to combat it, I guess I eventually dealt with it myself. Yay for my immune system! ^.^

I would have guessed I had a fever from…the various times that I blacked out. Honest to goodness, in the past few days, I didn’t fall asleep, I just rather suddenly went out. And then I had all these insane dreams (If you could call them dreams) stuffed full of….weirdness, conspiracies, and more! All very vivid, packed with non-stop action, and fused with people I know, online and off.

Not that I remember any specific details of any of them. But from how I am still a tad weirded out by them, it’s a good thing I can’t.


During one of the million times I ran to the bathroom, my cousin took the radio I was using.

I figured, “Well, I wasn’t there, maybe he didn’t know I was using it.” So I politely asked him if I could have it back. He refused to even acknowledge my presence, let alone my voice.

Oooo, if I wasn’t so sick, I would have hurt him.

*Smacks forehead* Who am I kidding, besides myself?

*Rwars* >:O


Speaking of my cousin, he took my cd player without my permission (Ha! Like I’d let him borrow it ) and I haven’t seen it in…weeks. When he first received the cd player given to him for the holidays, he announced he didn’t like it and was going to sell it. No one has seen it since, and he’s been using everyone else’s.

And because that little punk boy is a hustler (He hustles money regularly from his siblings on a routine basis, especially from the two girls), I’m half afraid that he sold mine. I couldn’t prove it if he did, anyways.

Heh. He took out the cd I had in there, in my cd player, the burnt cd that had over a hundred songs, and pitched it somewhere in the house so he could put his 50 cent cd in.

Of course my cd is lost, and most likely broken. It’s how things happen, here.

I honestly can’t think of what to do, besides put up with it till I can leave.

*is extremely frustrated, beyond all belief*


To clarify my last post, I did get the check. What the lady had given, it was the only thing left of all the papers that should have come with it. *nods*


Last night, just like the past few previous nights, I had a vivid weird dream. At one point, I know I was talking in my sleep, because I half woke myself up with it. *grins and blushes*

But what I wonder is if anyone was awake to hear what I said. I mean, I just remember it was a part of my dream…that I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to know about, let alone hear what I was saying. *blushes deep red*

I mean, what if one of the adults heard me? Well…if one of them did, I’m sure that someone would have said something to me by now.

Unless they are too embarrassed…

*dies*

I don’t remember what it was exactly, that I said, but I know that it isn’t anything that I would want public, because of the feelings and... stuff... that I remember distinctly, when I woke myself up with my talking.

;;;


…At least I don’t snore? =X


Remember how the kids I babysit have an evil vicious bird? Around the time that the tv people showed up at their house, animal control came and took away their cat and the bird.

Aleia: Yay for the absence of the bird! Makes my life and babysitting so much easier! =D


I walk in the house Monday, to “Wooo, I see someone sexi!” kind of whistling.

The bird is back. And whistles at me every time she sees me.

Oh, she does it randomly, but much much more so if and when I am around. As it was observed by the mom. u.u


I was taking a shower when I heard an abundance of “Woo, sexi!” kind of whistling, which almost made me fall out of the shower, taking the curtain down along with me. It was then that I realized that the bathroom window is right next to their back yard, and the bird was outside.

….

*glares*


In the past few days, I have been shot down inadvertently by two different people, but of the same family. I mean big time ownage. Just came out of nowhere, BAM! Twice or so by the girl that came back, and once by her mom, last night.

*Winces* Geez….


Aye, when me and the girl were leaving the theaters Tuesday, after watching the oh-so-kickass movie Sin City, I saw a poster where someone was doing a remake of this other kickass movie, called The Pink Panther, with Steve Martin, I believe.

My first reaction was to smack my head against the wall, moaning “Why fix what isn’t broken?”

But doing so wouldn’t accomplish anything productive, and it would just look way too weird in the end. And I couldn’t bring myself to explain my actions to a security guard, if one happened to walk past me in the middle of my chanting.

People, people. You can’t out-do the great Peter Sellers.

Steve Martin kinda annoys me, methinks. o.-


Lesson of the day: The originals are almost always better.


Almost always, because there are exceptions. Just not today. ^_~



So the summary of today’s post is:


- I need to get myself to the gym. =\

- Contrary to the M&M motto, M&M’s melt in your mouth and in your hand.

- I need to stop thinking along the lines that I have been lately =X

- You need to watch The Pink Panther series, the one with Peter Sellers and not the new crap.


And there you have it.



Did you know:


A 70 million year old Tyrannosaurus rex was discovered in Montana. The scientists have found soft tissue that hasn’t been fully fossilized, making cloning a distinct possibility.

Jurassic Park, anyone? <.<;;

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