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Friday, May 13, 2005
Cinaminaminamin
Today is the last final, and then I am done with school.
Not like I’ve said it a million times already, but yeah. =P
The other day, someone I know was trying to describe someone to me. They went on to say “Well, you know how if you were to only see a picture of them, you couldn’t say that the person was all that attractive; they could even be described as ugly. But if you met them in person, there is just something about them that makes them very sexually attractive, enough to make you go wow o_o”
What I’m trying to say is really hard to describe, but do you know what I’m talking about? I’ve been thinking about those kinds of situations lately, and I wonder what it is exactly that makes a person like that have that kind of attraction; what is it about them that shows through? Is it from a part of their character; their personality? The way they carry themselves; their body language? From my experience, a person that has the factor that I’m trying to describe has more attraction than someone with just a pretty face.
The past month or so, food and eating are sticky situations for me. Now it’s just a once a day chore I kinda dislike doing. I’ve been sick the past week or two, so I can rarely ever taste anything unless it is in some sort of extreme (really hot and spicy; really salty) and any small amount of food or heavy drink (Like a milkshake) makes me feel sick and nauseous and stuff. But you know, it is my fault for letting myself slip back into old habits. It’s all about the mentality; physical comes later.
In all honesty, anorexia and/or bulimia are never worth it. There are better ways to go about losing weight. One time I lost 30 pounds when I went through quite a bit of my anorexia/bulimic cycles and when I was caught and finally settled myself to eating normally (I rarely ever ate junk food, and I didn’t have access to McDonalds or stuff) I gained it all back so easily. I hurt myself for nothing. And if I kept going through the cycles, I prolly would have ended up in the hospital for malnutrition and a host of other problems, so yeah. How you lose weight has to be permanent life integration, and obviously, anorexia and bulimia aren’t. Well, I guess they could be seen as permanent integrations, but doing so will cut your life really short and not give you much time to enjoy your thinness, yeah? 0_o
And it’s just hard to get yourself out of. If you let yourself go past a certain point, you can’t do it yourself and then things get really complicated.
There is so much more I could rant about this, but my bio final is near, and I’m sure you’ve heard enough.
Just…something I had to let out. *nods*
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