Thursday, September 29, 2005

Communicating through implications



Most people I know from the places I used to live have been telling me lately that it’s starting to get cooler outside; chilly at night. It’s hard for me to imagine such an occurrence, because the only way I can tell it is fall season here is when I found an acorn on the sidewalk, on the way to class. *grins and laughs*

Yeah. This is the first time that I’m living in an area where there isn’t much variety weather wise. Everyone here is telling me it’s fall, and there’s even orange, red and brown leaf shaped paper cut-outs on boards and windows, but it’s still in the 90’s and such, so you can understand, as a native of the ideology that fall = cooler weather, my biological clock is muchly discombobulated.

It’s not that I mind the heat; in all honesty, it barely bothers me. It only gets me when it is extremely humid out (and even then, I can live), or if I am stuck in a place where there is no air conditioning along with no air circulation or no open windows.

For some reason, the only class I had on Thursday is cancelled… Thursday being today. =X I have absolutely nothing to do or planed… today, and it’s going to feel really strange, to have absolutely nowhere to go during a school day.

I think I figured out the reason when I am overtly stressed, among other things, why I strongly want to be by myself, and yet at the very same time, I still strongly desire to be around other people; to be around friends. When I feel a certain way and I am around other people, especially people I feel comfortable around, my guard, the wall I put myself behind kind of loosens, and I think I am afraid of falling apart in front of other people. I can’t let people see me that way; I can’t let anyone see me weak like that. I guess I have a slight mistrust in people in general; I do know that I don’t want people to see my weak spots, because then if someone wanted to hurt me, they would know exactly or pretty much what critical spots to hit to bring me down.

As it has been done before, more than once. I still have scars from them.

But I am glad I figured it out, because now I can fix that problem. I could have forced myself to act a certain way, as opposed to appearing standoffish/emo by holing myself in my room most the times, but I think it would have been stupider to force an action without knowing why it is that way in the first place; to not be able to foresee the possible repercussions that could happen.

In my opinion, anyways. =P

Yesterday, I pet a live armadillo. They were surprisingly cute, but the one that I encountered had either a drooling problem or a drippy nose. XP

On a completly unrelated note, I learned I love spicy hot food. =)

I also gave blood, and I still feel really crappy. >.<;;;



The other night, I was coming back from the library. It was almost 1 am, and in my hands I had all 9 printed papers of my big important English paper. As I was walking along the pathway that leads to my dorm building, I was looking up at the sky, marveling at what few bright stars I could see. All of a sudden, I hear an odd noise, and immediately after I am shot violently in the back of the head with a strong force of extremely warm water. A split second after, I was whopped on my leg, and all my papers got splashed.

And I was soaking wet.

As it turns out, the sprinklers come on at certain times of the night. They come up out of the ground, and since they are black, they were hidden pretty well in the darkness. So I guess my timing was perfect. Or sucks right on schedule, as usual. XD

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