Sunday, November 27, 2005

Cicatriz ESP / I've Defected
Mhm. To make a long petty story short, for the past month, my room mate has purposely made things extremely difficult for me. She would purposely pick fights with me, and I would end up leaving so I wouldn’t make matters worse (Especially when she started in on her phrase of “I’m the wrong person to fuck with” and I almost let slip “Prolly cause you’re fucking everyone else”) Haha, no kidding.

So I would purposely walk around campus for hours upon hours at a time, as my body and senses were flooded and overwhelmed with anxiety stress hormones I desperatly had to let loose in some form, and if I came back too early the dumbass would sit up strait in bed to argue with me some more. So of course, with my new found schedule, it was rather difficult to function as a student, as I was stressing and couldn’t sleep for a few days at a stretch, then crash and burn along with not eating regularly at all. Not to mention concentrating was hard, and not being in my room/library always being stuffed to the max kind of made doing homework and things an impossible dream or something.

In one of the bigger arguments that we’ve had, she expressed that she was angry about how she felt bad for me and would invite me to go places with her and her friends, and now what is it with her friends being my friends?

I thought it was really funny how it never crossed her mind that we couldn’t be friends with the same people at the same time (ZOMG =O); even funnier the fact that all the people I know (most of them by coincidence knowing her as well) I met through other people, or by random chance. Only one person I got to know better because of her and that was because when we went to the UTSA party, there were six of us all together in our group, and three got drunk. The other half, which consisted of me, another girl I knew, and the other one I didn’t, ended up talking/bonding most of the night (and wee early morning), and after rescuing three really drunk people from a party that was raided by cops soon after we left, how could you not get closer? ^_~

But yeah. In the whole past month, she's been playing mind games with me and a group of other people, so for a while there, I was extremely paranoid and felt I couldnt trust anyone. Eventually, there was a confrontation and it was then that it was figured out what had been going on. (A stupid "she said that you said so and so about me" type of thing, and because the same things were being said to other people, when there was casual talk, there was a sort of tension that wouldnt allow other things to be brought up.)

The past few weeks, my room mate has taken to threatening me, telling me that she is going to get me kicked out of the room by telling Residents Life and the RA’s that I have slashing tendencies (haha, there is obvious proof against that, as there aren’t any visible cuts anywhere on myself), telling them that I make myself throw up after every time I eat (eh, not something easy to prove or refute), I have mood swings and they make her scared (wtf? Mood swings? Where? 0_o;;), amongst other things. She went on to say that because she is a senior and me only a freshman, that she has much higher priority over me, and to quote her “I can get you kicked out as easily as your first room mate did” (Haha, remember the room mate I only had for half an hour?)

Stuff and stuff. This went on for a bit, exception being I went ahead and explained my side of the story to Residents Life and to our RA, so things would be documented in case something big would happen.

I love my gut instinct.

Last Thursday-ish, I go to my room to get my wallet and her friends walk in behind me like nothing. They say they wanna talk to her, and I tell them that she isn’t there. Friends were waiting for me downstairs out front in a car, and while I was getting my wallet, they went and made themselves at home on her side of the room. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that she went and made a divider wall with her bookshelf, dresser drawer, her TV and her desk, making the heavy tension in the room visible. She had a whole lot of glass stuff on top of her bookshelf, and it kinda made me nervous cause now her rickety bookshelf sat in the middle of the room, with no wall to support it, and all the glass things on top looked to be for easy falling.

Anyways. Leave the room with her friends in there. *shrugs* I was in a rush and there was no way I was going to or could possibly physically make them leave.

I come back to and empty dark room about a half hour later, and to make things short, I noticed a few things of hers on my side, which led me to realize other things, which made me notice the huge pile of glass under my bed, and all the things missing from her side. I go strait to the RA, and soon after my room mate follows. When the RA goes to call one of the higher up people from the Residents Life office, to ask how to handle this, my room mate tells me about how I am going to wish I never did this; that this could easily be counted as the biggest mistake of my life, she was gonna make me pay dearly, ect, and goes on to tell me about how deranged and mentally sick I must be to do such a thing to someone who’s never done anything to me.

I got fed up and frustrated with her spewing BS and told her that there was no use in arguing with her, cause she was going to believe what she wanted to believe and that was that; that it would take an act of God for her to change her mind. She quickly became offended that I used the word God and was going to tell me off for it (she tells people that she is a devote Catholic… I’m going to stop there, just cause it’s safer that way), and then the RA came back. My room mate was yelling in the hallways that I am mentally sick and she’s now scared for her life, and we ended up having to go back to our room just cause she was yelling so loudly.

Just as soon as we got to our room, she started bad mouthing me really badly in front of the RA, saying things such as “You broke all my sentimental things! Oh look, my pictures are still up on the wall; is it because it didn’t occur to you to take them down and rip them up?”

Just then, her friend that was in here before called, and then my room mate went into about how her room mate went and broke all her things. Of course he didn’t say anything. *rolls eyes*

Whenever the Residence Life person came in is when she started the tears and her act. My room mate started off with “I don’t know who did all this, but me and my room mate have been fighting for a long time now, and she’s the only one who had the keys to here…”

To my mild surprise, my room mate from that to how Aleia has violent mood swings and they scare her; to how Aleia slashes herself up and she’s scared about how if she can do that to herself so easily then she can easily do it to other people (like her room mate when she’s asleep); to how Aleia makes herself throw up after every time she eats and how she (my room mate) never ever sees her eat and how Aleia goes to counseling and doesn’t that seem like something is wrong with Aleia and she (my room mate) is and has been really scared for her life and that’s why Aleia should move out tonight immediately because she’s scared for her life and such.

Yeah, she really did mention that more than once, the “scared for her life” bit. To be honest, that part did make me angry cause she knows better, spewing out lies like that.

The Residents Life person went on to say about how if I was going to counseling that it was none of her business and that she just violated confidentiality laws right there by talking about that. She went on to say about if she (my room mate) honestly felt uncomfortable around me that she could stay in a different dorm that night until this whole matter was resolved. They couldn’t make me leave the room, as it wasn’t proved that I violated anything; there wasn’t proof yet that I had broken those things.

Ha. That made her visibly angry. She started raving about how she wasn’t only scared for her life, she was scared for her things and didn’t trust me to stay in the same room with her things and all by myself.

The Residents Life person asked me what I thought a solution should be, as I am a part of the whole ordeal.

I said I figured that both of us should leave the room for tonight, and then my room mate interjected with “Well, she’ll still have the key to get in here!”

We were told that if we agreed to that proposition, we’d both have to surrender our keys for the night.

And so we were told to pack what we would need for the night. My room mate went and called her parents, and basically told them the same things that she had just told the RA; that her room mate went and broke all her things, that she’s mentally unstable and that she’s scared for her life and the school refuses to do anything about it and she is going to press charges against me.

I told them I was going to stay at a friend’s room. Had to give a statement to campus police. To make another long story short, I ended up sleeping in one of the lounges with a friend who was babysitting a guy who got really really drunk that night, and he wanted to make sure that he didn’t throw up and possibly choke and die from it.

<.<

But yeah. In the end, her friend confessed to it, and she wasn’t angry at him. He has to pay for damages and such, but whatever.

I never expected an apology from her, and I never got one. *half grins*

Her friend, who has a reputation for being a rumor rat, and an instigator from my own experience, did apologize and hugged me, both which really startled me. X_+

My room mate wrote a really mean/nasty post on her Myspace about a someone. She never said any names, but everyone knew it was about me. I didn’t read it personally; a whole lot of people came and told me about it. She made a lot of mutual friends angry at her, so yeah. A few were going to write comments, but they couldn’t cause she deleted that post, and posted about how the devil was testing her waters and asked forgiveness from God.

I think it’s funny how she makes it a point not to apologize to me.

Uh, stuff I ended up doing Thursday, Friday and Saturday night brought up a lot of… stuff. I don’t know how else to describe it.

I was asked to go to the dance that the school is going to have.

School is out in two weeks. For winter break, they close down the dorms, which means if I don’t find somewhere to stay soon, I’m.. kind of... out. Screwed. In trouble, big time.

There was more I was going to say, but my head is stuffed and muddled and I have a whole bunch of papers I need to get started on, as they are due tomorrow. >.-

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