Wednesday, October 13, 2004

RE Parody Chapter 1
Hey people here is the first chapter of our RE parody. I did with a few of my friends and I hope you enjoy it. If you think some of your friends on here would like it too please refer them to my site here so they can view it...thanks a bucnh.

BTW I play Jill and Wesker
==================================
Chris: Alpha team flies over raccon forest, searching for our compatries bravo team who disapeared.....sometime....where....hell i forgot

Barry: We are over raccoon forest!

Brad: Chris have you found it yet?

Jill : Shut up Barry....

Chris: You actually expect me to find something?!!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON!?

Jill : LOOK CHRIS!! *Points to burning helicopter*

Barry: Chris just accused Jill of doing drugs!

Barry: It's a helicopter!

Barry: I think it's burning...

Chris: No! I acused BRAD of being on drugs!

Barry: You did?

Chris: YES!

Jill : Chris look! *grabs Chris' face and puts it against window*

Barry: Oh my god! Jill just put Chris's face against the window!

Wesker : Whats going on here?

Barry: Wake up Joseph!

Barry: We found a helicopter!

Brad: *lands helicopter in a tree*

Joseph: You can't drive worth a shit.

Jill : BRAD!!

Barry: Joseph said shit.*giggles*

Brad: oops....

Brad: *jiggles the stick and the helicopter falls out of the tree and lands perfectly*

Joseph: I could probably fly this thing better than you...chicken heart

Jill : *Smacks Brad in the back of his head*

Barry: Joseph just called Chicken Heart "Chicken Heart"

Chris: This way team! *walks into a tree*

Barry: I think Chris is an idiot...

Barry: Chris just walked into a tree, which makes me think he is an idiot.

Brad: Moron......

Joseph: *sigh*

Wesker : *helps Chris up* Ok...we're gonna move out in a standered fan position because I don't know whats going on....

Joseph: I'll go inspect. *walks off to inspect*

Barry: I think Wesker knows what's going on.

Jill : I'll cover Joseph *follows*

Joseph: Barry, you're an idiot...

Chris: Alrighty! Take this flashlight wesker! *throws a flashlight throwing it at his face*

Barry: Joseph said I was an idiot.

Joseph: *searching the helicopter

Chris: *seraches tree bark*

Jill : *looks around absently at woods*

Wesker : *Planing*

Joseph: *finds detached hand with gun in it*

Joseph: *brings it closer to face*

Brad: *sings pop songs from the radio* She drives me craaaaaazy!

Joseph: *inspects closely*

Jill : *Gasp*

Joseph: What?

Joseph: I'm inspecting something Jill, shut up for a second...

Brad: Hit me one more time baby! do do dee do de do!

Jill : *points at hand being speechless*

Joseph: *sniffs hand*

Joseph: Hmm

Joseph: *licks severed wrist*

Joseph: Odd...

Chris: Hey, can I have that gun?

Barry: What gun?

Jill : *puts hand over mouth making gag noise*

Chris: oops...its a tree

Joseph: *drops hand and looks at it with a flashlight

Barry: It is a tree!

Wesker : Find anything anybody?

Barry: A tree! A tree! *runs madly at wesker and tackles him* It's a tree! *points at tree*

Wesker : Barry....there are thousands of them....*gets up and dusts himself off*

Joseph: *finally realizes what the hand is* (in that cheesy manner we all know oh so well)Ah! It's a hand!

Barry: Doggies!

Chris: AHHH A TREE!!! *runs into a tree* AHHH! A TREE! *runs into another tree* AHHH!!!!!!!!

Joseph: *Keeps staring at the hand in amazement*

Barry: The doggies are coming.

Wesker : Ceberus' uhhh...I mean KILLER DOGS!!! RUN EVERYBODY!!

Joseph: *gets closer to the hand and sniffs it again*

Jill : JOSEPH!!!

*dogs tackle joseph and begin ripping him apart*

Joseph: AHHH!!

Joseph: Ouch...AHHH MY SPLEEN!!

Joseph: Ohh, that was kind of nice...wait, no no stop!

Chris: Oooo a doggy! Can I pet it?

Jill : JOSEPH YOU DUMBASS MOVE!!!

Joseph: Ouch!

Joseph: Stupid dogs.

Wesker : *Fires at dogs*

Joseph: *looks at hand while dogs are eating him

Chris: Come here little doggy! Let uncle chris pet...HEY!

Barry: Wesker just shot at the dog.

Jill : *Fires at dogs* BARRY HELP!!

Joseph: *spits up blood*

Joseph: *does nothing to stop the dogs*

Joseph: AHHH!!

Chris: You let joseph play with the dogs and not me...i see how it is..

Joseph: MY BLOODY NUTS! YOU GOT MY BALLS! YOU BASTARDS!

Barry: The dogs are eating him.

Joseph: AHHHH!!

Joseph: *dies*

Wesker : No use in trying to save a man without nuts.

Barry: He has no nuts...

Wekser : LETS GO!!!

Barry: Go where?

Wesker : GRRR *Slaps self in forehead*

*dogs turn to look at jill*

Chris: THERE! RUN FOR THAT MANSION!

Barry: There's a mansion!

Chris: *runs into a tree*

Barry: I'm going to run to the mansion!

Jill : *Runs to mansion*

Wesker : CHRIS PROVIDE COVERING FIRE!!! *fires shots*

Barry: *follows jill*

Chris: *runs to mansion...and runs into a truck* Damnit! Who put this fucking truck there!

Barry: *looks back* Chris ran into a truck!

Chris: *jumps over the truck and runs for the mansion*

Brad: *still singing to radio* Dumm ee dome hit me one more time!

Wesker : *runs in last and shuts doors then locks them* .....why is it that no one ever listens to me.....

Brad: *accidently flies away* oops...

Barry: *knocks on door*

Barry: I'm not in yet...

Wesker : OHH!! *opens doors*

Barry: You opened the door.

Chris: *misses the door and runs into the wall*

Jill : Barry are you ok?!

Barry: I'm walking in now.

Barry: *closes door*

Barry: The door is shut. This is a mansion. We have entered survival horror. There is no escape.

Jill : *raises eyebrow*

Barry: I'm hungry.

Chris: AHHHH!! *climbs wall rather than opening the door*

Wesker : Uhhh...survival horror...no escape heheheh...never heard of such a thing.

Barry: *turns to jill* Wesker hasn't ever heard of such a thing.

Jill : Barry are you hurt?

Jill : How is everyone?

Barry: I'm not hurt.

Barry: Wesker's eyes are glowing red under his sunglasses.

Wesker : *Fumbles for darker shades* Uhh...no they aren't.

Barry: Wesker just put darker shades on.

Wesker : INJECTION I DIDN'T DO IT!!!

Chris: *opens the door and walks into a dining room....and falls off to the first floor cutting his leg, leaving a pool of blood*

Barry: *turns to jill again*THE INJECTION DIDN'T DO IT!

Jill : Injection....hey where's Chris?

Barry: Chris is gone.

Chris: If I go this way....I should be in the main hall! *walks into a side halway* Damnit.. *opens another door and goes into a diffrent hallway* I think I fell into navigational hell.

Chris: Now lets see...how did i navigate in the air force......I shot at random things untill my people told me to stop and where to go..

Wesker : We should split up due to obvious reasons and search for Bravos and Chris who's seemed to slip away....

Chris: *starts shooting doors...the walls....the windows....a grenade*

Barry: We should split up and look for the Bravos!

Barry: I heard a gunshot!

Wesker : Jill go into the dinning room and investigate

Barry: Jill is going to the dining room...I'll go with her.

Jill : Wesker how did you know there was a dinning room?

Wesker : Uhh...I said don't go into that room....but now I'm telling you to.

Jill : Ok....

Jill : *opens door*

Chris: *walks into a room and gets sprayed in the face with bugsrpay* AHHH! *shoots figure in the chest*.

Rebecca: Ow! You shot me!

Chris: You sprayed me! fair trade!

Rebecca: Ow...my stomach hurts...

Chris: Quit your belly acheing

Jill : Wow...it was a dinning room......

Barry: It's a big room.

Barry: I hear ticking...

Jill : *Walks to burning fireplace and looks down* Look Barry...blood!

Barry: There's a loud clock over there.

Barry: Look, blood!

Jill : *looks sharply at Barry*

Barry: I'm going to stare at this and shake my head and poke at it. You go into that room *points at door on other side of hall*

Jill : Ok *opens door*

Barry: *shakes head* *pokes blood puddle*

Wesker : HAHAHAHA!!! NOW THAT THEY ARE IN THE MANSION THE DATA COLLECTION CAN BEGIN!!!

Wesker : Now all I gotta do is.....wait wheres my keys? *looks for keys* I need those!

Chris: *walks into a desk* Hey a type writer *looks at the paper in it* Uhh rebeca, have you been trying to save your progress as a porn story?

Rebecca: No...I haven't saved yet, so if I die I have to start over.

Chris: umm.....wait.

Wesker : *opens dinning room door* BARRY!! HAVE YOU SEEN MY KEYS TO THE MANSION??!!

Barry: *keeps staring at the blood, shaking head, and poking it*

Wesker : *reaches into pocket* Oh wait....ok nevermind... *dissappears*

Jill : Huh....Kenneth!!

Kenneth: Hey buddy, whats up?

Chris: *walks into a room with a big plant* Hey! A PLANT! *tries to feed it peanuts but gets smacked in the face* Ow...fucker!

Zombie: Ughhh *shifts toward kenneth with his arms stretched out*

Kenneth: what're you doing?

Jill : *Sees zombie like thing behind Kenneth with a horrified look on her face*

Zombie: *bites kenneth*

Kenneth: ouch...wait, hey...that...wait, no no that hurt...AHHH

Jill : AHH!! KENNETH!!

Kenneth: Jill?

Kenneth: Ow...

Jill : *Knifes Zombie in the head a couple of times*

Kenneth: AHH MY ESOPHA...*cough cough, dead*

Comments (2)