Tuesday, December 30, 2008

well...im in a good mood today. i have been better though. im very angry today. i was yelling at my sister all day. she came home from the navy like a week ago. and today she really made me mad.i told her i never wanted her here and she needs to go back where she was. i said some other things i choose not to announce. i feel kind of bad...but i also said a few things she needed to hear. today i didnt do much. i walked around town a bit. it wasnt too cold so i thought why not take a walk. i wanted to wait until it got dark....i like taking walks at night by myself. my sister got engaged. maybe thats why im upset at her....im not sure why i exploded. i really dont like him. i mean he kills animals for one. major mistake telling me that. another mistake was he told me he shot a chimpmunk with a shotgun. he also asked my sister to buy a thong...which totally blew me up. he never listens to her....he ignores her on the phone. me and him argue all the time...he hates it but i for some reason enjoy it....maybe beacause im smarter and i always win. now im ranting and raving about my anger towards him to you guys im sorry. i just really dont like him. i dont think i should say this but i hope things between them dont work out. i dont think hes good for her. maybe im just saying that because he isnt good for me? i dont know.....advice would be nice if you have any please? anyway i plan on going bowling with a few friends. im not sure when....we still have to make plans becasue i cant drive so i have no ride. anyway....i took a few pictures of me hanging out with my sister and christmas.


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Thursday, December 25, 2008

bonjour
merry christmas everybody! so how was everybody's christmas? i didn't get anything. But that's ok ^^ christmas isn't just about what's under the tree. I'm sorry i havent been on lately. I'v been in the hospital. But don't worry im fine. I'm just happy i was home for christmas. I was thinking i would be in there forever. I'm in a good mood lately. I'm trying to be happier. although my ex is telling lies about me. He told the entire school i broke up with him because im pregnant. It's a good thing everybody knows he's a liar.....nobody believes him. Anyway....i lost my voice completely. I can't even whisper it stinks bunches. i went to the mall yesterday. it was fun i bought alot of clothes....i almost bought a new snowboard. but i didn't have 300 dollars. It was pretty too. well i guess that's all i have to tell you. im sorry im a boring person and it wasn't a very good post. I love you all! *hugs*
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Friday, December 5, 2008

hola
well i stayed home from school again. my light headedness got alot worse. i passed out at home and im shaking as i walk. so its pretty bad. but dont worry it will pass. my dad had to go to the ER last night. i feel bad now because i made a mean post about him yesterday. i regret what i said. even though he is ok now it still scared me. i guess if it scared me i couldnt hate him as much as i thought. but i found out some interesting facts about my family. im related to lady from lady and the tramp...and the duchess...(the mother cat) from aristocats. pretty cool eh?
but anway i went to the doctor and i am underweight. im 16 and im 95 pounds. supposedly dangerous. for some reason i have trouble gaining weight. some people say its hard to loose weight but not to gain but it is hard.i was watching this ugly yet beautiful world all day today.its a good anime. even though im not into anime much anymore i liked it. some girls on my bus smoke weed. it really stinks. they asked me if i wanted any....everyday actually. i told them no of course. but i found out im helping them pay for it. one of them asks me for a dollar everyday...and the money adds up eventually so they buy the drugs. apparently im too nice to notice sooner. but i felt so bad after i found out. i stopped giving them money of course but i still feel as if i was one of the ones smoking it....just for helping them buy it. anyway i guess thats all i have to say. sorry for stating such pointless events. and thanks angel zakuro for your sweet comments. you always help me so much whether it seems like u r or not it helps.*hugs*
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Thursday, December 4, 2008

hola amigos
hola. im staying home from school today. i have an underweight problem. i get really light headed and pass out sometimes. i know im pathetic.but i dont want to pass out in school.
i broke up with my boyfriend. it was hard on me as it was for him. except he started crying? i felt so bad. but not after what he did to me. there's this girl he's friends with that i talk to sometimes. he told her that i blamed her for the breakup...but her name wasnt even mentioned in the conversation. so she stopped me walking to my class. she randomly started cussing and yelling. i asked her what her problem was. i told her i never blamed her at all but of course she didnt believe me. so i talked to my ex about it. i asked him to talk to her...he says..whats my other option. like he wasnt going to even try. so she wants to kill me. i might end up getting suspended for hitting her because she is pissing me off. im not really one to fight but she is pushing me. anyway as you can tell im having conflicts at school. and i never ever want to go back again. im also having troubles at home too. my dad hates me and i hate him. we never got along, even as a kid i hated him. well i cant even look at him anymore. and he always looks at me in disgust. the only person thats keeping me going is my brother. i feel bad becasue even he can tell im not very happy anymore. sorry i made such a boring post. but i could really use advice if you have any.


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Saturday, November 29, 2008

Hi everybody...
im posting early today.i can pretty much guess how my day is going to be anyway...im not feeling too happy so im just going to stay in my room for the rest of my life.iwrote something the other day and i wanted you guys to read it and tell me what you think....no lying.i want the absolute truth even if its bad.ok?

waking up to see that everything is okay
the sun shining through my window pane
walking through the beams of light
feeling everthing is so right
then your screaming voice
chased away my sanity
only bringing tears
loosing grip,i fall
am i too lost to be saved
surrounded by darkness
i hear the whisper of the wind
lost inside myself for hours
asking god if everything is make believe
with a tear in my voice i ask why
why am i being swallowed up by my own thoughts
i look around the darkness
and i find you
standing in the corridors of pain
you dont know me, but i know you
i try so hard not to think of you
i try to run but i cant move
i try to scream
to breathe
but your taking over me
has no one told you im not breathing
dont try to fix me im not broken
i try to wake up
suddenly i know im not sleeping
you smile
i feel your cold,lifeless hand touch my chest
as you pull out my empty heart
as my last tear falls i say
you are my suicide
as you catch me falling and smile so warmly you say
i am your savior

ok sooooooo my opinion as my very first of writing anything ever.it sucks...tremendously.but i thought why not try.anyway i dread going back to school next week. im going to break up with my boyfriend but im having complications as to how im going to. iv never broken up with someone before and i dont want to be mean about it. i still like him but i cant think of him as anything other than a friend.so i want to break up with him but also keep him as a friend...if thats possible.so any advice would make me sooooooo happy.i think this is one of my longest posts ever.im sorry its so long.i was going to stay the night over at a friends last night...because she somehow realized im not feeling myself lately so she wanted to make me feel better. shes really sweet but my dad was being a jerk and wouldnt let me go for some reason i dont know why.but i can tell she is really worried and i feel bad about it. i try smiling or laughing when she is around.so that helps a little.i dont like being sad because it isnt me.hopefully it wont last forever.anywho enough of sad talk. Christmas is coming around the corner. what are you guys going to do for celebrating? i know its still a ways away but im excited and just want to know.well heres another picture of me.i think i have a baby face in this one its ugly.


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Friday, November 28, 2008

hola again
wow im making more posts then ever im really proud of myself. anywho...thanksgiving was terrible. i dont like turkey and i ended up cooking everything for my family. with my mom yelling at me the whole time.sometimes i just want to drop dead. the only good thing was i talked to my sister on the phone all day.shes in the navy working as a firefighter so i havent seen her in a bazillion and 2 years. and i heard from her boyfriend that she talks about me all the time. i feel special. i was teasing her alot yesterday. her boyfriend has a bunch of ex's on his myspace and i keep telling her she's just going to be added to the list. and she isnt being her own person shes just following trends. i have told her for 16 years...be your own person and be the trend setter not the opposite...usually the older sister tells u that stuff but not with us i suppose. i feel like im being a bad sister. anyway i took a few pictures of me myself and i. in my opinion they're all ugly. im only showing one. ill show you the others later ;)


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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

hola el ninos
ok really late to make a post but here goes.
i went to florida cause i had stuff in storage now im back in virginia unpacking and re-arranging my room.it sucks much i must say.i think im going to break up with my boyfriend....i know im a heart breaker. lol im just kidding im ugly.i skipped school all week.which i wish i hadnt because i hate skipping.lots of work to make up.
i hate high school.but it gets you into collage.the collage i want to go into is a private art school.Full Sail University.i plan on majoring in music recording or graphic design.i guess thats it im not one to do long posts sorry.
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Saturday, November 22, 2008

hola mi amigos
ok i have good news and bad news.ill start with good news first. i got a boyfriend.his name is alex. major sweet guy. iv made new friends after i moved to virginia and iv never been happier.
iv made a myspace finally. its myspace.com/koolaideli if you want to chat.
bad news is i moved again...away from my friends and it sucks ....alot. i actually cried. but i only live like 40 min away from them. it isnt the same as going to school with them everyday though i miss them sooooo much.
my sister is in the navy so she doesnt live with us anymore.its empty in my house now.i have no one to argue with. so all in all im really lonely and bored.
i guess thats all i have to let out. thanks for the comment jason really sweet.
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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

sorry i havent posted for awhile...iv been grounded.aparently for being too depressed.i start school the 25th.im real excited.i moved so im going to a new school. its a real small school.my graduating class is a class of like 12 people.well heres a most recent picture of me myself and i.....yes i know ugly u dont have to tell me.well anyway byebye! thanks for any further comments. =]

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Sunday, July 6, 2008

ello people
hello...how is everyone?liz is very sick.liz doesnt feel so good.didnt sleep much last night...again.liz is very sorry for her sad mood lately.thanks again angel zakuro for being the only one to comment.your such a nice person.
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