Saturday, November 29, 2008

Hi everybody...
im posting early today.i can pretty much guess how my day is going to be anyway...im not feeling too happy so im just going to stay in my room for the rest of my life.iwrote something the other day and i wanted you guys to read it and tell me what you think....no lying.i want the absolute truth even if its bad.ok?

waking up to see that everything is okay
the sun shining through my window pane
walking through the beams of light
feeling everthing is so right
then your screaming voice
chased away my sanity
only bringing tears
loosing grip,i fall
am i too lost to be saved
surrounded by darkness
i hear the whisper of the wind
lost inside myself for hours
asking god if everything is make believe
with a tear in my voice i ask why
why am i being swallowed up by my own thoughts
i look around the darkness
and i find you
standing in the corridors of pain
you dont know me, but i know you
i try so hard not to think of you
i try to run but i cant move
i try to scream
to breathe
but your taking over me
has no one told you im not breathing
dont try to fix me im not broken
i try to wake up
suddenly i know im not sleeping
you smile
i feel your cold,lifeless hand touch my chest
as you pull out my empty heart
as my last tear falls i say
you are my suicide
as you catch me falling and smile so warmly you say
i am your savior

ok sooooooo my opinion as my very first of writing anything ever.it sucks...tremendously.but i thought why not try.anyway i dread going back to school next week. im going to break up with my boyfriend but im having complications as to how im going to. iv never broken up with someone before and i dont want to be mean about it. i still like him but i cant think of him as anything other than a friend.so i want to break up with him but also keep him as a friend...if thats possible.so any advice would make me sooooooo happy.i think this is one of my longest posts ever.im sorry its so long.i was going to stay the night over at a friends last night...because she somehow realized im not feeling myself lately so she wanted to make me feel better. shes really sweet but my dad was being a jerk and wouldnt let me go for some reason i dont know why.but i can tell she is really worried and i feel bad about it. i try smiling or laughing when she is around.so that helps a little.i dont like being sad because it isnt me.hopefully it wont last forever.anywho enough of sad talk. Christmas is coming around the corner. what are you guys going to do for celebrating? i know its still a ways away but im excited and just want to know.well heres another picture of me.i think i have a baby face in this one its ugly.


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