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Friday, April 1, 2005
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Dirty hot sex
When I heard that song on the radio, it made me laugh, just because the song is that bad. Not bad dirty.....well, a small bit of that, but more like bad terrible, enough so that I immediatly lower the volume or change the station completely, when I hear signs of it.
Oy, that song from Weezer, called Beverly Hills? I dont like that one either. I noticed the music beat sounds a lot like the song called Space Cowboy, done by The Steve Miller Band, and I dont like that song either. =X
http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/snoozalert.shtml
For some odd unknown reason, that makes me curiouse. <.<;;
[/random]
My sister sent me this link, and I found it rather amusing. Some of the expressions made me laugh out loud, thus maybe indicating a sick sense of humor. XD
If you click on the link at the end, you'll change it from amusing to dorky, so you've been warned.
http://www.birthdayalarm.com/CardForYou.jsp?MID=300&CardSendRecipientId=18245084&ChecksumNbr=3093856
I think everytime I listen to the Zeromancer CD, I am going to be off in Egypt, whether I want to be or not. As is what happend last night, when I put it in the portable cd player/radio that is really my aunts but I am borrowing without asking as everyone else does. =X
What happend is me only having a few songs that I really liked on some burnt cd's, and only a few cds from bands, I really really overplayed that one, when I was in Egypt. So when I listened to the cd, I felt like I was laying on the bed I slept on in the Karawan (the head of the bed was right at the window, the foot of the bed pointed towards the door that led to the kitchen/livingroom, and the one side of the bed was right next to the door that led to the small balcony)
Laying on the couch last night in the living room, in Jersey City NJ, for the weirdest reason I could strongly remember smells and sensations that were dimmed from time. Like the smell of the ocean (The Karawan, a huge complex of appartments, was exactly right next to the really long Port Said beach), the smell of the outside street things (Many hand and donkey pulled carts that sold stuff to eat; at times, the smell of fish was...very prominant X_+. Speaking of donkeys, they dont clean the streets very often. XD)
*cough* So yeah. The smell of the ocean, the smell of outside street things, the smell of the breezes that came from the ocean (Different from the ocean smell; sweeter, not so strong), and strongly remembering the cool night breezes that would gently roll over everything they touched.
I really liked the balcony, except for one reason during daytime that I abruptly (and rudely) discovered. I was dressing in the bedroom, when I felt compelled to glance out the door. The balcony is very private in the fact that unless you lean forward on the railing, no one can really see you. Just about all the buildings are really old, and all the tall ones were far away. Very private, the balcony, except that there is one window right next to it that belongs to a completely different appartment than ours. As I noticed when I was dressing.
Ew. >.<
But I loved it best at night. =)
Sounds like I need to get the pictures from Egypt up that I already ripped off the camera and resized but cant host because-forgot-how-to-link.
Somehow, even though I cant afford to use the bus one way to get to the gym, I somehow have to pay my way home tonight.
...Or walk home, because I honestly only have 80something cents in my wallet, and I cant withdraw anything from an ATM, because you can only withdraw in incriments of $20, and I dont believe I have that much.
>.<;;;
I have a huge Biology project to do, due in....4 hours! Watch me procrastinate! =D
Heh, about my 15 year old cousin, the one I mentioned in the last post. The evening I was getting sick, he was speeching me about things.
And let me tell you what he was speeching about, because you're probably dying of curiosity.
<.<
>.>
He was saying about how when/if (Heaven forbid the "when" part) he has kids, if he has for example, a boy and a girl, when they are of age, if he finds out his son is having sex, he will encourage it and deem it perfectly fine, as to if he found out his daughter was having sex, he would punish her heavily and/or kick her out.
Aleia: So it's ok for boys to have sex, but not girls?
Cousin: Yeah, of course!
Aleia: *half grins* And why is that so?
Cousin: Because the boy can take care of himself; girls cant take care of themselves or do anything. And for guys, sex feels good, while for girls it always hurts.
Aleia: Then how come girls want sex almost as much as guys do, if it hurts all the time?
Cousin: Because girls are really stupid. Everyone that's a boy knows that.
Aleia: So if it's good for guys to have sex, and girls no, then what are guys having sex with? Each other?
Cousin: Shut up, dont be gay. You're only saying that because you're angry that you're a girl, and jelouse that you arent a boy.
*throws up hands* That, among other things. I figured there wasnt any point in arguing with an idiot, lest people passing by couldnt tell the difference.
When I was in the bathroom throwing up, the dumbass took my cd player and wouldnt give it back.
He lost the headphones that I found lying about a short while ago, and when I found them this morning, they were broke in a way that you couldnt wear them.
Testing found that they were broke in a way that you cant hear out of them, so it doesnt matter much.
*rolles eyes*
Oy! And in the middle of the night I was really sick, I went in search of my bottle of Allegra-D. No matter how hard I searched, I couldnt find it. It's a huge huge pill bottle; I put it on my top shelf, and I dont understand how it couldnt be found.
And then I suddenly remembered how my cousin had fashioned a slingshot out of a huge pill bottle; and how he was frantic in scratching the prescription/patient name sticker off.
And it suddenly dawned on me, that without asking, the little retard had dumped out a whole bottle of prescription pills to make a stupid slingshot that he didnt even keep in the end.
Oooo. I could have hurt him in his sleep, I was so angry. >:O
But I didnt. Obviously.
Maybe dealing with him is what made me sick XD
...And now I am headphone-less, all over again. =\
We havent had TV in quite a long time. I mean, yeah, we have a TV, but it only has Arabic channels. So any news that I hear, I hear by word of mouth (Or actually being there, as the other day. Heh.), or if it's big enough news, a bit here and there on the radio.
I feel kinda funny; not quite sure why/how/whatever.
;;;
Oh! Last night in math class, the teacher chose me to administer the teacher evaluation stuffs while he had to left the room. Apparently, my class had to do them because everyone except one or two people are failing that proffessor's class.
<.<;;;
>.>
=X
Eh. I completely forgot what it was that I really wanted to say, but I guess I've rambled enough about nothing to make up for it, yeah? ;D
How about Lyra, as a screename?
Comments:
elfpirate
Member
Posted Today at 12:45 AM
i think i'd 'ave hit the li'l bugger, as well...an' then educated 'im.
i'd like to see those pictures o' egypt...i hope ye kin git 'em up soon...
Heavens Cloud
Member
Posted Yesterday at 12:00 PM
Your cousin is an idiot.
DeathKnight
Member
Posted Yesterday at 07:51 AM
I've heard dumb things from both genders so I'm pretty indifferent. Just another person, another view. Blind or not, they see it that way. Can't do much about it.
Lyra is still going currency in my head. Maybe my subconscious is telling me I desire money. Mmmm. *rubs chin*
*steals lunox's wallet as he walks away*
Muhahahaha.
Lunai
Member
Posted 04/02/05 at 10:18 PM
*points at Barson Samedi's post*
I'm so worried. I want you to be out, about & on your own come summer.
Japan86
Member
Posted 04/02/05 at 06:15 PM
I love that name. It is by far more sexy than marle.
Marle reminds me of Pokemon. O_o
I would of smacked and karate kicked your cousin till he was blue in the face and black all over
Baron Samedi
Member
Posted 04/01/05 at 06:06 PM
o___O;
O___o;
I cannot think of a single intelligent thing to say about this post. Your cousin's antics make me cringe, your fond memories of Egypt make me smile and the rest of it leaves me...something.
o___O;
MistressRoxie
Member
Posted 04/01/05 at 05:41 PM
You've been to Egypt? Or am I mis-interpreting that? Wow I'm stupid. >_>;;;
I also think your cousin is an idiot, and I could come up with numerous not nice-things to say about him, but since he's family, I uh... won't.
Allegra-D, huh? Me too! Well, usually clarinex, but not during evil allergy season. :o
Why were you er.... throwing up? That better not be something like bullimia or I'll yell at you. *glare*
And why is your TV only in Arabic? o.o;
Lyra is a constellation, as well as the main character in His Dark Materials, which I'm assuming you've read, or you probably wouldn't be suggesting that name. It's a good name. No offense, but I do like it better than Marle, which reminds me of a kid in my school - his name is Marlin. Sorry. Don't kill me! X_x
lunox
Member
Posted 04/01/05 at 05:16 PM
Your 15-year-old cousin amuses me, partially because he's the same age as me and partially because he'd fit in perfectly with the other half at my school.
Shinmaru
Member
Posted 04/01/05 at 05:11 PM
I don't very many songs with 'sex' in the title that have been good lol. I'm sure that they exist, though. Maybe in some far off land.
When I saw 'Lyra' I thought that it said 'lycra'.
Godel
Senior Artist
Posted 04/01/05 at 02:10 PM
If you're going for constellations, Camelopardalis is probably cooler, but Lyra's extra neat-o, nonetheless. : 3
If, according to your cousin, it always hurts for girls to have sex [with boys, based on the "don't be gay" thing], would that mean he'd be okay with his daughter sleeping around with girls?
Also, why didn't you hit him for being a sexist little shit? I'd have. u.u
You could always hang out at bars all the time; they have lots of TVs at bars!
There's this bar (brewery, really) in Toronto where you pay four bucks to get in and can then drink as much as you want, for no extra cost.
Unless you're visibly drunk; then, it's illegal to give you more to drink.
So, the lesson is: don't be visibly drunk.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
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Marketing Happy to all who want it.
After and a bit before, but mostly after I bought the lavender yesterday, there were times on the train, posting, and walking home that I felt suddenly dizzy. Dizzy like you suddenly couldnt tell up from down, everything decided to go all swimmy on you, and felt like you could easily float sideways. I figured it was because it was almost 4pm and I hadnt eaten anything yet, so I figured after I stopped over at Summer's house to see if I had to babysit that night, then I would look around the house for something to eat.
I get to their house to find Fox5 news camera people packed inside. *shakes head*
The mom told me that the day before, the landlord called the Jersey Journal and gave them falsified information for their article, about their kid in the hospital, the circumstances in which and what happend, ect. He didnt use his real name, so yeah. What a dork.
So somehow, TV is getting involved. She was on the phone with the newspaper, telling them their side, whatever whatever.
Unfortunatly, I was caught in some of the shots, and I so hope that I am edited. I mean, the only people that are going to see the report are people in Manhattan and Northern NJ, yeah? *makes a face*
They didnt need me to babysit, and I am so glad, because I feel... sick. Last night and today, of course. Feels like my heart moved up to my head; prolly did that because I'm like a burning hot flame covered in ice. w00t w00t.
I go to school today, because I can still...kindasorta function. And my tummy already had emptied itself in ways it shouldnt, so yeah. The nautious waves have freed me! Yay! ^.^
And my throat is still sore, and I cant afford cough drops anymore. ;_;
That reminds me. I read my bank statement, and I wish I wasnt so...free yesterday, with buying the lavender.
*shrugs* Oh well, I guess I learned. Nothing I can really do about it now, so yeah. I was planning on buying headphones, but I cant now. The ones I was borrowing suddenly crapped out/died on me (I assure you, they weren't very good to begin with =\). Without music to work out to at the gym, I feel naked. Like if you were to go outside without your wallet. I need to get lost in my music, so I dont mind all the stuff that is associated with many hours of strait physical activity.
;;;
If my aunt is really ignoring me, to keep the peace, then shouldnt she tell me what she's doing when my uncle isnt around? I mean, with her attitude towards me, I half expect her to pick out my dirty laundry out from all the others, in the dirty laundry bin, and leave them still dirty in a special pile, for me to wash by myself.
....
I have three English projects I have to do, and no will at all to do them.
*Forces herself*
You know, come Monday, I foresee stuff happening.
Cant say whether it's good or bad, not yet.
My 15 year old cousin is a real stupid ass, as he keeps proving over and over again to anyone and everyone, but that's a rant for another time.
Comments:
Godel
Senior Artist
Posted 03/31/05 at 11:55 PM
I know what you mean about getting faint.
A little-known fact about Godel, even by most people who know her IRL: I have fainting spells. If I stand up for a long time, my vision goes, I can't walk straight or eve support myself, all sounds seem far, far away, and echo-y, even that of my own voice, and, eventually, I just fall down.
I can only assume it's a result of my mother having some weird blood problem that makes her faint all the time.
So, too look forward to, I have iron pills and arthritis! I love my genetics. : /
I find it so rude and horrid of any news channel to get involved in such a traumatic experience for the whole family.
Bastards. *goes off to find a repeating crossbow*
Hmm...from what I hear from other people, I have the most comparatively amazing set of cousins one could ever ask for. None of them are even annoying asses! : O
anatema
Senior Artist
Posted 03/31/05 at 10:35 PM
Please take into consideration that you got her into a shitload of trouble. I just wouldn't be so quick to judge her, is all I'm saying but hey, whatever floats your boat.
Baron Samedi
Member
Posted 03/31/05 at 05:28 PM
=
*mails you hugs, good-wishes, cough-drops and a washing machine*
=(
*and headphones*
Lunai
Member
Posted 03/31/05 at 01:15 PM
The thing with you aunt & the dirty laundry...that's how I knew things between me and my mother were strained, at best. Usually whichever one of us washed, washed both of our clothes. Came home one weekend to find the clothes hamper full of my dirty clothes and her clean clothes in the living room. That was before I got a job, mind you, so I couldn't even wash my own clothes at that point.
*hugs* I am really tempted to send you a money order or something. It wouldn't be until May, because I have to save for rent.
~Caitlin
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
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Slippery when wet
Oooo. Some things are raging out of controle, but what else is new?
;;;
The thing about the street cleaning, I remembered the night before, to move my car, but forgot because I was feeling really sick, and I was supposed to babysit for about two hours. I wanted to take a small nap before I babysat, but ended up sleeping for two hours and was an hour late for babysitting. I jumped off the couch and ran over, and the mom was still there, and she told me she didnt need me, that her husband was coming home from work.
She sounded kinda angry at me =\
I mean, it's understandable. I was never late before, though. >.<
Ah well. So all that made me forget to move my car, for the next day, and when I woke up the next morning, I went to try to move my car, and there was no space anywhere. I waited inside the house, for the machines to come, and you can usually hear them honking when they come near the block, but they didnt honk this time. Just as I saw them, I raced outside, got in my car, and started it. I was inside the car and moving it when the lady was taking out her electronic pad, and was writing it out. She isnt very nice; she does that to everyone.
XP
Aye. This morning, I woke up with a really really sore throat. =(
...Prolly because the past few weeks, I've been sleeping without a blanket, and wake up freezing cold. It's a good thing that I brought my own, the huge feather comforter that I bought long before I had a car, because apparently, my relatives arent big on spare blankets.
And somewhere along the line a few weeks ago, somone misplaced my comforter, and I havent been able to find it since.
*tsks them*
Oooo. This morning, I found a pair of raspberry red pants that I've never worn before, in my pile of clothes that I have next to my (broken) bed. (My organized pile of chaos that the adults frown upon <.<;; )
They fit very nicely =D. They are kinda too long, but I really like the way they cover my (navey blue and tan) sneakers.
Sexi sexi pants, indeed. ^_~
I went to Manhattan today, after class, to visit my aunt. She had a sort of surgery to remove stuffs a few weeks ago, and got kinda sick last week, so she didnt stay over here the weekend, like she always does.
There is this neat little flower shop along the way, and I brought her what was called a French Rose. It's a very very pretty peachy color, and I figured it would make her a little happy. =)
Went to her appartment (the lobby is nice, like an expensive hotel lobby =O), up in the elevator, to find that she wasnt home. So I left the flower with the door guy, who's known her (and her relatives, like her brother, who visits; my uncle, when she married him; and her neices and nephews (my cousins and me) the whole time she's lived there (30 something years now, I believe o_o)
*half smiles* That particular door guy remembers me from when I visited before long time ago, back in 5th grade.
It's so weird to think, that my aunt is going to go live in Egypt. =\
On the way back, I stopped back in the flower shop and brought some lavender.
The lavender...oh wow. I am firmly convinced that honeysuckle and lavender are the best smelling stuff in the whole world, honest to goodness.
Sweet and spicy ^_~
...And really expensive '.';;
But oh well. It's not like I usually spend my money.
I'm trying to work on taking a more relaxed approach to things, tonot be so tense and anxiouse. I stress about a lot, I know.
Yeah, my situation currently is prolly just a bit stressful, but what I want to do is...not take a relaxed obliviouse approach, but to relax a bit, and keep aware of things.
*hugs her lavender*
The smell of lavender, it makes me happy for no reason. *grins*
Today, it's so beautiful outside.
There is a difference between wanted and needed, but I cant put the difference into words.
*whispers* If anyone has any good ideas for a good screename for me, please feel free to tell me <.<;;
Comments:
Shinmaru
Member
Posted 03/30/05 at 05:54 PM
I already took the best screen name in the world, so I don't know what else to suggest.
DeathKnight
Member
Posted 03/30/05 at 05:49 PM
I second MissusPoopyPants and-
*spontaneously combusts*
Heavens Cloud
Member
Posted 03/30/05 at 05:10 PM
How about MissusPoopyPants, just because I find it funny?
lunox
Member
Posted 03/30/05 at 05:05 PM
I love lavender, too. :3
Godel
Senior Artist
Posted 03/30/05 at 04:04 PM
Sometimes, flowers are just the prettiest things in the world. : )
There's a tailored lilac tree in our front garden, which is very fragrant in summertime.
I remember going to the Lilac Gardens, a couple of years ago, with my mom's friends.
Kilometers upon kilometers of lilacs...
Very pretty.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
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Something or other
Before anyone gets too excited, I think I am going to leave off at this name. Marle as a name doesnt sound like it belongs to me.
...as opposed to my old screename, which is bad, because the old one screamed/bled/flaunted/boasted n00b.
Woke up and got a ticket from street cleaning. *cries*
I hid it. What my uncle doesnt know wont hurt me. XD
*cough*
Aye! Last night, the backdoor steps led into a deep...pond of sorts. Really deep, I believe, if the 4x4 planks out there were floating freely. 0_o
Aleia: *opens back door to take a look*
Cousins: *jump out of nowhere and try to push her out* Tee hee hee ^.^
Aleia: *squeals, catches the handrail, and rwars* I cant swim! >:O
Cousins: Tee hee hee! ^.^
Mhm, I was so soaked, walking to school yesterday, but I got more wetter walking back. Honestly, it was like one giant relentless pouring bucket high in the sky.
I was wearing a heavy coat and everything, and all my underclothes were soaking wet. My shoes oozed water and made squishy noises, and when I came inside, my aunt made a comment to no one in particular about people dirtying up her house.
Goodness goodness u.u
This morning, my aunt spoke to me. I didnt answer at first, because I didnt figure she was talking to me, untill she looked right at me and asked again.
Like she couldnt say my name or anything. *rolles eyes*
She asked me when I had class today, and that was it.
Even if/when my aunt starts talking to me again, I'm not going to talk to her. I mean, I am going to be civil, but that's about it. She's broken all trust I've put in her, from listening to something as stupid as letting somone else pick and choose who you may and may not speak to.
I mean, what kind of person allowes other people to dictate that kind of thing about yourself?
I mean, from the way my uncle has described things, I know pretty much exactly who he doesnt want me to talk to, but I still do it anyways. Not because I am being rebelious; it's pretty stupid and useless to rebel just to cause trouble, but because he doesnt have any say in who I can keep close, in who I can confide in, in who I can trust/love/converse with, ect. No one but myself has the right to choose who I can care about, yeah?
Edit: I forgot to mention! I dont mind what anyone puts in the comments box; put whatever you want.
Just if it's not funny, just plain weird in a way that doesnt make sense, and is spammy, then I know where you live, and I'll catch ya when you arent looking.
I mean, post whatever, nothing should be done in regards to "What if Aleia's uncle reads this and she gets in trouble? =O"
Just so you know. *nods*
Comments:
Lunai
Member
Posted 03/30/05 at 02:14 PM
I love ya, sweets. I really want you to get out of that situation. And I want you to move away from your uncle as soon as possible. *grr, argh*
Hey, if you change screennames again, can you send me a PM? I wanna keep in touch.
Heavens Cloud
Member
Posted 03/29/05 at 07:20 PM
Thats good, fuck your uncle. Fuck him in the ear with a dirty French prositiute's fungus ridden, decrepit dildo.
By the way, I see a pattern forming with you and tickets from the street cleaners. Why don't you move your car?
satan665
Member
Posted 03/29/05 at 07:05 PM
wow I had no idea that you were marle!
anatema
Senior Artist
Posted 03/29/05 at 06:42 PM
As I've told you before I don't think your aunt betrayed you as much as she's trying to keep the peace. I don't think you should take that attitude with her because she did get into a lot of trouble and I'm sure she's just waiting for things to smooth over and your uncle not to watch you like a hawk so yea. That's my logic.
Japan86
Member
Posted 03/29/05 at 06:31 PM
lol
CRandomHero
Member
Posted 03/29/05 at 06:05 PM
*sees your comment* Silly girl. _^_
Your uncle smells, turning your family against you like that. *rawrs him old school*
Marle
Member
Posted 03/29/05 at 05:53 PM
"No one but myself has the right to choose who I can care about, yeah?"
Yeah! >:O
Monday, March 28, 2005
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Emo Girl strikes back!
Run away, run away!
Hmm. I am figuring the best place to start would be….last Monday, where I had left off.
…Because starting from the beginning, everything will make sense! Or not! =D
Although, starting from the beginning till now will take a while, so…the post will be a little on the long side. Just a tad. ^_~
But yes! Anyways!
Brief summary of last Monday: Went with aunt to mall, watch movie, was warned heavily by my aunt not to write anything about movie in e-mail; criticized the ways my uncle’s mind works.
Tuesday: Took a nice long walk with my aunt to the mall/mini mall area, relatively close by car, from where we live. She brought me a pair of sneakers, because I didn’t have any; a pair of sandals, because *gasp!* I didn’t have any of those either; a pair of pants, some hair stuffs. I am extremely positive that the total came out relatively high, and I was feeling really grateful towards her, ect. Walked home; my uncle came in the house a few minutes after we did. He started yelling at my aunt, telling her she was irresponsible and childish; not fit to raise kids or keep house. Their yelling ended abruptly at the slam of the front door, as they had both went outside.
After a few minutes, I peek outside, and hear/see nothing. I figured I better do something constructive that doesn’t involve being inside the house, just in case. So I go and move my car from the other side of the street, for next time there is street cleaning. Just as I finish, my uncle is locking the front door of the house. He sees me just as Summer (One of the kids I baby-sit) and her dad see me from their backyard, and call out my name. Summer’s dad is saying he wants to talk to my uncle, and suddenly, what my little cousins had said to my uncle rushed into my mind.
Cousins: Summer said not to tell anyone, but her dad doesn’t like you!
Uncle: *laughs* And why wouldn’t her dad like me?
One cousin: I dunno. 0_o
Other one: Oh, I know! Because you kicked Aleia out of the house.
My uncle finished locking the front door, and in an angry voice, told me to never babysit for them again, to never talk to them again, to pretend the family doesn’t even exist. Heh, I guess he was thinking about the same conversation as I was. He muttered something about how everyone in the house was out of control, how everyone lies, and there is going to be control or else people are going to be leaving.
He got into the van, just as I noticed that Summer’s dad was on the sidewalk, walking towards us. My uncle obviously saw, and the tires on the van screeched as he rushed down the street. Summer’s dad had a confused look on his face, as he explained to me that he wanted to talk to my uncle about how he heard that our upstairs was empty, and if he could rent it.
Aleia: ;;; *wipes sweat drops*
I knew my aunt was gone, to pick up the kids from school. Further inspection showed that I had my spare keys, which don’t include the house keys.
And so Aleia was locked out of the house.
Keeping in mind the stern, almost scary warning her uncle had just given her minutes before; she went to Summer’s house.
Her mom told me about how her husband half joked with her the other day, saying that if Aleia’s uncle kicks her out, she could live with them as a live in nanny of sorts.
*half smiles*
Summer’s house was where her aunt called half an hour later, extremely angry at Aleia.
She was telling me that my uncle had yelled at her about going to the movies, waving around papers, saying he had proof, he read and printed it out himself. She had told me not to write anything in my e-mail. I didn’t listen, and now everyone is in trouble.
And then it hit me. My uncle telling me not to tell people how I feel, what/how I think, my problems. Him knowing about the movies.
He wasn’t reading my email. He was reading my O.
….I don’t know if he’s printed out every single entry that I’ve written that he has read, but he did print out the last one.
I don’t even know what he does/did with them.
But what happened, happened.
After running home, getting yelled at some more by my aunt, feeling…unworthy, stupid, for getting her into trouble for stupid things I had written, things I had done, getting her into trouble for stuff that was completely my fault; after doing a regrettable stupid thing, calling Anatema Sarah and asked her to do me a favor by changing the password of my O and turning it off (I figured the AOL parental controls saved passwords, and my uncle wouldn’t be able to read anything from my O, if it was turned off), and then having two of my cousins help hide me in the closet, where I resided for a few hours till my aunt came back from my girl cousins softball practice and the youngest boy cousin snitched on me to her as to my location, after she yelled at me for acting like a little kid, hiding in the closet from a guy who can only yell at me, I hid in the boy’s bedroom and fell asleep.
Wednesday: I called Summer’s mom, asking her if she was joking, when she said about me living with them. Arrangements were made, stuff and stuff.
After my aunt calmed down, she told me that she knew my uncle visits every single site I go to.
*grins* So if I’ve ever visited your site, he’s been there. Not that it matters, but yeah.
Heh. It was then that I realized my uncle had to have done something so that IE and Firefox wouldn’t work on his computer anymore, so that if I wanted/had to use the internet at all, I’d be forced to use the heavily rigged AOL parental controlled account. It happened rather suddenly, and for no apparent reason at all… *shrugs*
Later that night, as I was going through my things so I could pack only what I needed, there were ambulance and police sirens practically at our door. I didn’t pay any mind until me and my cousins heard that the noises had parked very close, and the red and blue lights were dancing in our hallway.
They had parked in front of Summer’s house.
Kayla the three year old was playing with the new stove they had gotten. The house was packed with people, so the mom didn’t see her as she opened the oven door, climbed and stood on it, and then the whole thing tiled forward. There was a huge pot of something boiling on top, and in the end, 80% of her body is covered in 2nd and 3rd degree burns. She doesn’t have any skin on her back, and the doctors don’t know if she’ll be able to walk anymore, her legs were that badly burnt.
My uncle mad an exception for me to babysit that night, while the mom went to the hospital with her kid.
I figured I prolly shouldn’t move in, with all the stress they are going through, legal things and child services investigating and stuff.
Thursday: Went to the gym and babysat some more.
Friday: Was headed towards the gym, but ended up babysitting from 1pm-9pm. Was offered $5,000 to participate in a greencard marriage.
Mhm. $5,000 would cover to get my car fixed to almost new, with a good amount of insurance backing it up, along with getting me good and far away from here, with a nice place to stay for a month or so, till I get a job, and it will help me pay for school, if I end up having to pay.
But my morals wont allow me to say “Hey, I married for money once!”, so Aleia politely refused.
Let alone that the practice of greencard marriages are illegal.
(Greencard marriage is when a foreigner “marries” a resident of the US for at least 4 months, so they can get their greencard, which enables them to live in the US legally. I put a “” around the word marries, because you don’t have to live with the person you marry. But there is a big risk of being investigated, so the risks are rather high. You go instantly to jail, for a very long time for that kinda stuff.)
Saturday: Was going to go to the gym, but ended up babysitting from 11am-1am.
14 hours strait of babysitting, in which many things happened.
It is confirmed that:
- The parrot they have, it must be a lesbian bird. It’s attraction to me and only me isn’t usual, not one bit. It clumsily flapped off the top of the fridge and onto the couch, to try to eat/bite my hair. And when I was sitting in the bedroom, talking on the phone, the bird waddled in, weaving through the crowd of little kids to climb up the bedsheets, to try to bite my shirt, prolly so she could crawl up to my shoulder. Or the top of my head, for that matter. After she bit my shirt, I squealed and ran away, and she chased me in the silly way that birds run.
After I calmed down, I put my hand down and let her perch on my arm, as always, so I could put her back up. She wouldn’t stop sidestepping until she almost reached my shoulder, and when I finally got her off of there and onto the top of the fridge, she immediately clumsily flapped down to the couch, waddling towards me again. -.-;;;
It can be confirmed by a few people that I react to the combination of surprise + roaches. *shivers* u.u
Sunday: Got yelled at by my uncle for babysitting until 1am. Good thing he didn’t ask me if I was getting paid for any of this, because I’m not, and it might make him angry, forcing him to yell at me for letting them take advantage of me (He’s speeched me about that before) They aren’t taking advantage of me; their kid is in the hospital, and the dad is going to have to take the next two months off from work, to stay with her while she is in there, so the mom can take care of the rest of the kids at home. I think they are going to run into a little bit of financial turbulence, so whatever. I don’t care if they don’t give me anything, honestly.
Even though from now on, if I want/need anything, I can’t get money from my uncle to get it. I mean, besides food and a place to sleep. *bites lip*
My aunt told me, the reason why my uncle has been reading my O is because he wants to know what I am thinking, how I work inside, so he can try to fix me.
My uncle wants to break me down mentally and try to make me into what he wants me to be.
I am stubborn, but he is too, and I am very much dependant on him. I couldn’t hope to be so lucky as to be kicked out; if I pull a stupid move, he is going to pull something in return. He watches every thing I do on his computer, so I can’t really go online much, if at all, using his. He looks at all the snail mail everyone gets. I already know a bit of my phone conversations are listened to from on my side, so I am cynically looking for the day I find a different phone in place, one that can record things. (You don’t know him. I believe it can honestly happen.) It is silently confirmed that my car will never be fixed, so I can’t go anywhere. Once school is out, I won’t have anyone to talk to at all, and at the end of June, most everyone will be at Egypt, for the whole summer. I’m not allowed to go much outside, and he’s told me he doesn’t want me to have the friends I’ve already chosen, so me talking to anyone is already breaking one of his rules. And so I will be stuck here, cut off from the world and practically alone with him, so he can change who I am, the way I think, my lack of religion. It’s all about the religion, in the end.
Another thing I figured out, the reason that my uncle doesn’t want me to have a normal job is because if I have money, then I can leave. No money means I can’t leave, which means that I have to stay and be dependant on him.
Oh yeah. On Friday, I woke up when the kids were getting ready for school. I asked my aunt if she was going anywhere, and she said she was going to the store, as she had a long long list of important things she had to get. I told her I would come along to help her, as I feel hugely in debt to her, for her buying me the things I needed, then getting her into huge trouble from the stupid things I did. My uncle overheard and pulled my aunt aside, telling her not to take me, to drop me off at the gym. (It was 7 in the morning; the gym doesn’t even open until 9-ish) He said I wanted to go along because I wanted her to buy me more things. He told my aunt she needs to put distance between herself and me.
…..
That hurt. A lot. ….Very much, actually.
I noticed that for the time being, my aunt and uncle have made up. I also noticed that my aunt has been acting rather distant from me this weekend. I don’t know if that’s in my imagination.
I don’t know if she believes him, but I know it isn’t in my imagination that she is acting kinda funny towards me, in the way she is avoiding talking much or in depth to me. I mean, she could be very busy, when I try to talk to her.
I still feel hurt and betrayed. =\
Heh. I don’t think I mentioned about how my uncle picked Sunday to be angered at me for everything that happened in the past week, telling me that I know perfectly well what happend. That there is no trust in me, for putting what happens in the house out on the internet, for anyone and everyone to read. He asked me if I could imagine his surprise, to see all of his wife’s problems on the internet, because I had put them there. That there is a lot wrong with me, in my head, for doing/thinking/saying the things I did.
Among other things.
Oh yeah. He yelled at me about associating myself with people who use bad language (Of course he doesnt want me to talk to anyone ever again, because everyone is immoral and bad! =O). I figured after he read my O, he took a look at the comments you guys left. Him being angered at the comments left has had me curiouse as to what you guys said. *grins*
Hmm. So I guess that’s what my uncle is telling my aunt, that I put all of her problems online. Nevermind, I don’t think I’m imagining her off-ness towards me.
I found it a little bit amusing, when all my cousins and my aunt told me last night that they could hear my uncle’s voice through the floor, when he was yelling at me. They didn’t ask what I was in trouble about; they had just kinda commented on it.
Kinda like it was to be expected? =X
All of the kids have picked up on their parents’ mood and attitude towards me. So I woke up Sunday with a huge bruise on my arm, because my dumbass cousins wouldn’t stop punching me, and then running away, giggling.
Cousins: *call names/throw things/poke with sharp objects/hit/punch/kick* Teeheehee! ^.^
I made a move, to try to make them leave me alone, but then the youngest sticks out her tongue and says that if I smack any of them, she’ll tell her dad. She knows she is the favorite, ect ect.
So all of Sunday was spent being mostly ignored by adults, and picked on by little kids.
God, it felt like highschool all over again.
This morning, everything is going in full swing. I woke up almost late for class, and everyone in the house is now officially full out ignoring me. Actually, waking up late for class was my fault. I was awake earlier, a bit before the kids went off to school, because my youngest cousin wouldn’t stop pulling on my hair and whispering in my ear that I am the shaytan, that I’m the Ginn. Her mom came in and caught her, and just told her to quite playing around, put your shoes on!, turned around and left the room.
Me: …..
Everyone now, they look right through me; they talk above my head. I feel like an outsider inside the house, a stranger; I don’t belong.
I only have 7 weeks of school. I have to stay here for at least 7 weeks longer, to finish school, to keep my credits.
But I don’t know how I am going to leave, and I don’t know where I can go, where I can stay.
I am thinking Job Corp is really an option. If I stay at a friend’s house, it is going to take money I don’t have to get there, plus I would be imposing heavily on them and/or their family, after a while. There isn’t any guarantee that I’ll get a job, where ever I go.
The skin disease I have, from the patterns I’ve observed, it goes crazy out of control when I am extremely stressed. It first started and appeared when I was 12, when I was first sexually abused, and it was all crazy until the doctor injected stuff. It was quiet until I was 18 and finally broke down, and it went all crazy until I left my mom’s house.
Last night, I saw something similar in a completely different spot, and it’s practically all over the place, there isn’t any cure for this and I don’t know what to do about anything. Even if there was something I could do about it, I don’t have money to do it.
Aleia = Stressed out beyond all belief.
Just a wee little bit. *holds out fingers a smidgen apart*
And there you have it.
Edit: I've observed interesting observations that have me thinking.
No, I'm not going emo on everyone. It's just interesting to notice.
Everyone: Ooo, Aleia is being all cryptic and emo!
Aleia: STFU ^.^
Comments:
Godel
Senior Artist
Posted 03/29/05 at 03:38 PM
Ah, crap. Methinks I've called your uncle a few bad names before. *swt swt* Sorry for getting you in trouble and all, but now I really mean it, more than ever!
I wonder if he read one of my rants about religion/sexism/racism/homophobia/whatever or something.
Great. Now you've got me feeling all guilty.
*hugs j00 real tight* I wish I could be there for you more than just leaving some hopefully-uplifting comments via the internet (which seems to do more harm than good, in the long run...), but I'm kind of stuck.
I guess the one thing I really can't emphasize enough is that it isn't your fault. You are way entitled to a better life situation than this--don't feel guilty about things that are innocuous at worst.
And don't worry about what you're doing to other people by taking action--it's become too clear that they shouldn't merit your concern.
Just do what is best for you, even if it does mean being crazy-drastic.
Life is too short, as it is--why should it suck so much more than it inherently has to?
*hugz0rz*
anatema
Senior Artist
Posted 03/28/05 at 09:36 PM
I imagine the reason why your aunt is being distant with you is because it avoids a plethora of problems that there would be if you guys were close. I haven't called you since we last talked because I'm not sure if I should, but you know I'm always here. With that said I haven't quite talked to my dad yet, actually I'm just waiting for you to make some form of a concrete decision. And that your uncle doesn't want you to get a job doesn't mean you can't. And then there are loans, magical magical loans! I'm getting one, we can be loan buddies!! Take care, silly girl and remember that even if he does cut you off we're all waiting for you to cut him off. Don't worry, he can't hurt you and like your aunt says he can only yell at you. Maybe I'll telephone you this weekend, you tell me what you want me to do ::nods::
The Vampire Ed
Member
Posted 03/28/05 at 08:17 PM
I wonder if your Uncle managed to catch the comment I made when I called him an asshole. I bet that would have been a Kodak moment seeing his face while reading that.
Sorry to say it, but your Uncle is a dick. I wish you didn't have to put up with bullshit like that(OHHHH!!! I CURSED!!! YOU SHOULDN'T TALK TO ME!!). Well, hopefully you won't have to be their much longer and when you finally do leave I've got my fingers cross hoping you'll find a better place where you can be appreciated as you should. Well, hang in there for now and just think of the freedom you will eventually have. Hopefully that'll help get you through this nonsense your Uncle is putting you through.
Japan86
Member
Posted 03/28/05 at 06:36 PM
I hope that you get things sorted out soon.
Ken is right...maybe marle isn't the best nickname, lol
*thinks of what to call you also*
SasukeUchiha
Member
Posted 03/28/05 at 05:22 PM
I have a very strong feeling all will work out for you in the end and you will come out on top. Call it a hunch ^^.
DeathKnight
Member
Posted 03/28/05 at 04:43 PM
Evil? No. Psychotic/paranoid? Probably. Hah, friends who use bad language- all of us are pure, happy people here. No bad language at all. 0=)
Just keep your chin up. You'll get out of this [but you might be somewhat jaded from all of this shit].
I dunno. I'm definitely not calling you Marle. You need a new nickname. *walks away muttering to himself*
Lunai
Member
Posted 03/28/05 at 04:39 PM
I am about ready to send you money in order for you to get out of there.
love,
Caitlin
CRandomHero
Member
Posted 03/28/05 at 04:18 PM
*hugs* The things I'd do to your uncle aren't supposed to be said in public. So... just know I'm outraged at him.
Love you, girl.
hEvN
Member
Posted 03/28/05 at 03:13 PM
Okay.. so let me comment on this one by one.
1. Gah. So it was you! You're the one missing. That's why I've been checking out my friends list over and over again and found out Mimmi and James turned their myO off but... it's really you I should be looking for. *hugs so tight*
2. I'm terribly sorry about Kayla. Maybe the family needs you more to stay with them. That way you can get the hell out of that place and just help the other family. But I hear trouble when you move in their place. -.-
3. "My uncle wants to break me down mentally and try to make me into what he wants me to be."
That is a fucking load of bull fucking shit. You're uncle is an evil man. He may not know it, but he is. He pollutes the minds of people and controls them to do what he wills. He's doing everything to break you down. How selfish and heartless is that?? *nervous breakdown*
I hope you never listen to him. I'm begging you to never listen to him at all. I swear, if I had the money you'd be out of there in a snap. Forget about finishing school. There's no hope in that house. You need to get out of there fast. It's hell in there and I feel so depressed and I'm worrying about you so much. I can't help but cry as I read your post.
I love you Marle.
*comforting hug and doesn't let go*
Mimmi
Senior Artist
Posted 03/28/05 at 03:12 PM
I love you :3
Now get your game plan ready so you know what to do when school is up. I'd hate to think about you staying there for more than what's needed ;_;
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