Friday, October 8, 2004

*sigh*

My Sarah (Anatema) is gone. *is saddened* =( I know Tony is alive, as I saw a comment by him on somone's O, but that is the only reason I know he is. Ah well. On Sunday, I am being dragged to a wedding. Tomorrow, the bride to be is sleeping over here. For the oddest (unknown) reason, everyone is excited that I am going. 0.o;;; I was stuck with my cousin's music. He listens to...stuff. You know, the kinda stuff where your like "He has what where?!?" At least, I do. <.<;;; And I am still making up dorky screenames in hopes of accidently making a cool one. ;;; Suggestions are encouraged and very appreciated.

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Thursday, October 7, 2004

Studies show ghosts are calorific. Which might explain Pac Man =\

I want an air horn. Why, you ask? Because I like making lotsa noise, thats why! >:O So, yeah. If Sarah or anyone else hears odd freaky noises coming from the outside, fear not! It isnt a street riot (though...there might be, if I get a hold of an air horn <.<. Can't garentee anything.), nor tis it the end of the world. Or of Jersey City. It's just me. =) I will know by Monday, if I have the job. I think I might have gotten it, though. Aleia, the emoticon that represents you best is the Winking Face Well, hello there (wink, wink). Aren't you quite the flirt? Maybe you reserve your talents to the online realm where you can be somewhat anonymous and sly. Or maybe you're just great at turning on the charm virtually anywhere — online or off. Why shouldn't you? Flirting is an art, and when done well, it makes people feel good. Besides, it's fun and it seems to be something you're good at. Your clever comments and quick thinking make you a favorite friend. So, continue batting those eyelashes, winking that eye, and making others feel like a million bucks, hot stuff! Emoticon Test Me? Flirty? *tilts head* Aye, but who takes tests like these seriously? XD *remembers the neighbor girl* Nevermind, nevermind. <.<;; Aye, having major problems trying to make changes to my insane FASFA form. I will add more updates later. Edit: I have 2468 total visits. I mention it only because I like the way those particular numbers run. XD If you ever happen to stumble upon stories about my driving, disregard them, as they are all silly. And just stories. <.< FASFA is a rebelious system that works for the government T_T Everyone needs loud music to sing to. Aye, that crack at my driving (Honestly, my driving is not bad!) reminded me when I was a senior in high school. During one particular Chem lab, when my Chem teacher heard I was taking Drivers Ed on the road, he suggested to me that I drive a Dodge. I asked why. (Why did I ask?) He said so that when people walking on the sidewalk read the word 'Dodge', they will do so. Ha ha. Ha. Heh. u.u I remember a thingamajiger he told, to help us remember the Periodic Table abreviation for gold. "If somone takes your gold, you say 'Hey you! (Au)'" And for silver. "If you have silver, you arent rich enough for gold, which means you are in a not good neighborhood. (He suggested the projects u.u) If somone takes your silver, you say 'Hey G! (Ag)'" Can you imagine some old white haired farmer guy saying 'Hey G'? Oh, that was hilariouse. Kids would purposly (repeatedly >:| ) ask about how to remember silver. Bunch of dorks. *laughes* He was an interesting old guy, full of random stories of the "good 'ole days". And corny jokes, as well. *shakes head* Oy, and when kids would lift handfuls of droppers and fill them with water, and hide them in the lab desks. (My class was so full we had to use every single student and lab desk.) When he had his back turned, or wasnt looking, stupid kids would squirt random other people with them. For some reason, I was always a target for this one kid. 0.o And when I finally got the kid back, he fought back even harder. What the heck? It eventually ended up in a huge mess, with the kid blaming me, the teacher yelling, and me walking out of the room. It was sorted out, in the end. u.u But this is the same kid who would mix random chemicals in a glass beacker, and let it sit there and change colors. (For some reason he always set it near me. >:O) And when I tried to get rid of it/hide it/move it away, the teacher would see it, and the kid blamed me. (What the heck?!?) Stupid dork boy. At least I didnt get into any real trouble, meaning involving a pinkslip or something. Thinking about Chem class is making me remember the Photography club, which had a waiting list to join, and when I finally got in it, the camera had been broken. (In this club, you got to learn how to develop your own film :O ) ....Which I never learned. <.<;; During the Chem teacher's lab and free periods, the dark room was always occupied by a certain group of guys from my class. (Of course, the dark room having been built with the only entrance/exit in the back of Mr. Harper's room, he would be the one to teach it.)This wouldnt seem odd, cept for the fact the camera was broken, so kids werent in there to develop film. And it wasnt one or two guys walking out of there, it was always like four or five. I wondered what on earth they could be doing in a little room that could be dark/red light that took so much time. One time at the end of my lab class, three guys ran stumbling out of the dark room. The teacher, in normal fashion, paid no mind to them. (Why?) They zigged/stumbled their way out the door. Autstin asked me to come back there a second (I was very curiouse.) He held up a bottle, and said Christian (One of the guys who zigged out of there) thought the stuff smelled like apple, but he thought it smelled like strawberry. He asked me to smell, and shoved it in my face. I sucked in my breath and froze. There was a certain part of my brain, very top of my head, two regions that make an oval shape, that part felt like it had turned to burning ice. (I wanna find out what that part is responsible for, someday.) I sat down hard on the floor, stunned. My brain, nose (sinus?) and my eyes were burning cold, and my eyes were streaming. I felt like my head was floating high in the sky, and Austin's laughing sounded odd. After he left, and I recovered enough to stand by myself, I found the bottle was full of stopper stuff. You dump some in when you want your film to stop developing. I was so naive then. u.u Or stupid. >.< For some reason, I am remembering a show called Adam's World. I used to really like the show (It was aimed towards little kids) Very few, if anyone, will remember that show. Garenteed. *half grins* How come skin gets darker in the sun, while hair gets lighter?

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Monday, October 4, 2004

*Does a dance*

Aye, still extremely confused about things. But that dream, wow. Still rockin' :D *does a dance* I think part of my solution is to go through the motions. Somone told me 'When in Rome, do as the Romans do.' Why oh why didn't I hear that sooner? Or thought of it myself? u_u Ah well. Me. Interview. Tuesday. 2 O'clock. Bath And Body Works. Hudson Mall, 440. *crosses fingers* w00t d00 w00t ^_^ Tomorow tomorow, I am going to NYU, to talk to an adviser of sorts about classes and such. My uncle wants me to go in person, in hopes that I will 'see something better.' *grins* It was heavily advised I go by the path train. I dont have apprehension from the thought of walking in NYC by myself. Even though I havent done it before. I am nervouse/anxiouse/squeaking/shaking about taking the train(s?)(eeeep o.o;; ) by myself. I am afraid of missing my stop, ect, being lost and ending up in some weird place like Hoboken, blah blah blah, getting on the wrong train to begin with, ecetera ecetera. You know how it is...with...trains. 0.o;; The other night, my 14 year old cousine asked me where a certain cd of mine was. I absentmindedly told him it was probably in my car. As he left the room, I fully realized what he asked. See, the thing about him...I finally got my cd player back, after I half asleep caught him sneaking it out from next to my bed. He had it for a week, before he grudgingly gave it back, even with constant reminders after the first few days. (HE TOOK IT TO SCHOOL. HE GOES TO DICKENSON, THE WORST HIGH SCHOOL IN JERSEY CITY, AND HE FREAKING TOOK IT WITH HIM. He is a shrimp punk with a smart mouth too big for him, anyone can take it from him! I would take my cd player from him, if I was able to find it. *fumes*) I have only had it for half a day, when he asked me that. Of course, he had run the new battaries out (In a week? What on earth was he doing?), and didnt feel like replacing them with his own, so I had to do so with mine. I asked him how he was going to listen to the cd. He glanced over his shoulder at me, and said nonchalantly he was going to 'borrow' my cd player. I asked him to please not to, as I had just gotten it back, and was going to listen to stuff pretty shortly. He shrugged and said ok, but the way he shrugged and walked away, the way he said ok, I knew he was lying. Aaaaanndd shortly later... I find my keys in a place I didnt put them, and my cd player gone. Punk kid went through my car, then blatently lied and took my things. I couldnt find him sleeping downstairs, and figured he was sleeping in the upstairs apartment. (Upstairs isn't rented out currently.) Inspiration struck me as I locked the front/living room door. >:D Bwehehehe, that'll teach him. Lock him out untill somone wakes up to let him in. I found out he was hiding in the furtherest corner of the top bunk, downstairs. Tsk. Did I mention he is way way too small for his age? Did I also mention he still has my cd player? Yeah, somone could have moved my keys/misplaced my cd player, but yesterday, he ran past me, cd player up to the loudest, screaming "Ha Ha" at me, and flew out the door. >:| Punk dork. I will (hopefully) get my things back from him someday. And revenge. Because this isnt the first time. <.<;; And the taunting was very much uncalled for. =X Where did Wrapped In Plastic go? =\ And why do people still think my name is Lea, even after I tell them it is Aleia? *tilts head* Aye, I added a bit more detail about my dream. *points down to post below* Yes, I am still psyched by it :D

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Sunday, October 3, 2004

Rockin'. :D

Today, I was pretty tired, and took a siesta around 3 or 4-ish. It has been almost forever that I had a dream that I didnt immediatly want to forget. Eh, I think it has been almost forever that I actually dreamed (as opposed to nightmared <.<;; ) It was today that I had the most awesomest adventure. :D For some reason, a lot of it is slipping away, and I remember bits and peices still, but oh wow! I remember there was an element that was different shades of grey and silver. It was an element that you cant get from earth. It was shaped like a thick pin, and was a good three or four inches long. Even though it was very solid, it somehow was swirling/morphing grey and sparkly silver. If used in a certain way, you could channel your chi into negative type engergy. There was a certain living shadow type thing that fed off negative energy and needed a humanoid host to carry out what it wanted. The shadow thing wanted to do something, something that it really shouldnt be allowed. I dont mean something stupid and cliche, like taking over the world for its money and riches, I think something more like creating a hell on earth, because it lived off and enjoyed watching agony, and immensley loved inflicting horrendouse kinds of torture. And there was a guy who was promised to be spared from the inevitable, if he became a willing host. The only way the shadow could succsessfully merge with the guy, is if they had the silvery pin thing, and this plant that can grow out of rock. The plant was one of the few left. The leaves were navy blue with blood red veins, with a midnight purple stem. When cut in the wrong places or bruised, it bled black, and became useless. What I had was the stem ground into powder. In that form, it could only be kept in an organic container, or it turned to ash. Needless to say, it was extremely delicate. And somehow, I was in possesion of these two things. (Unfortunatly, that part of my dream faded away already =\ ) I kept the plant powder in a small empty whole coconut shell, by the way <.<;;; I had hidden the silvery element in a bejeweled skelaton key, which had to be kept on my person at all times, for stuff you will see later. The tiny coconut had a string tied to it, and it was hidden under my shirt. <.<;; Ok, ok, I had it hidden in my bra. Now shut up. >:O And I had a kick arse motercycle! :D It was pretty small, pretty fast beyond all belief. It didnt make rip rouring noises, it more..purred. It moved like fluid. There was a certain thing it could do....let me try to explain better. I could be racing through a forest, and not be afraid of running into a tree. I could be cutting across a people-packed crowded marketplace, and I wouldnt be afraid of hitting people. If I drove off a cliff, it could kinda....fly. In my dream, it felt more like a living, breathing thing, an animal of sorts, instead of a machine. And I knew all this happend partially because of the correlation of the key and me, and then me and the motercycle. Another thing I remembered was I had really really cool boots. Very comfortable, I might add. :D And I had a long coat, like Robin from Wolf's Rain. It was a thin dark brown leather, very soft, kinda light, but it still had a little bit of weight to it. It had all these pockets, pockets that had awesome nifty things, like the handiest pocket knife, a very strong torch three inches big, stuff like that. I dont think I had time to fully explore the coat, in my dream. =( In my dream, I had (my dream figure) of a female (which is good, because I kinda am one. I think I would have been devastated had I been a guy. No offense. <.<;; ) I was light on my feet, fast and nimble, graceful. When I ran, it felt like I was almost flying. That was the only thing that made me kinda sad when I woke up, because I can be such a klutz IRL. =\ I also couldnt run fast/anything realistic in my dream to save my butt. T_T There were these... points, places, rips. They were invisible, of course, and couldnt be felt, detected by machine, ect. But I knew where they were, intuitivly. Because of the correlation between the key and myself, I was able to pass through these....wormholes (!!!) and arrive at different places, different worlds, within seconds. The guy mentioned a while ago was after me. (Of course u_u ) My job was to not let him have the two last things he needed.... And to find the one person who could help me. He was a wizard of sorts, and knew how to destroy the shadow, and the guy, for the guy at this point isnt normal, and is more possessed than anything. It also doesnt help that the shadow guided him to access to magics and temporary great power. *darns the shadow with knowledge* The problem was, I didn't know where he was (which is why I was traveling worlds to find him ) And I knew I wasnt looking for a grizzled old man. I only knew he was young, like 20-ish. I think I would know who he was, if I saw him. Of course, my dream ended with no real ending. I woke up while I was evading the guy, and looking for the wizard. Someday, I hope to pick up where I left off.

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Random things learned the hard way. - If you don't have expectations, you can't be dissapointed. - Underthings shopping is best done alone. - If above rule is violated, extreme embarassment is a prerequisite prior to exiting the store. - Don't moon/flash/flick off a group of kids from a tough neighborhood, then proceed to run to your house. They will know where you live, and that can never be good. - One of the enlightening/entertaining things about living with somone on the jerk side is you get to see obviouse lessons in action, without being an actual physical participant. Like lesson said above. - One of the negative aspects of living with somone on the jerk side is that they seem to always be running home. Fact aside that you have to put up with them on a daily basis. <.<;; - When in Rome, do as the Romans do, no matter how much you really don't want to do it. Things come back to bite your butt in ways you would have never thought or expected. - Sometimes, you need to be hurt very badly to get things through your head. - The less people know, the better.

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Saturday, October 2, 2004

Purple, Orange, Green. Silver, Blue, Red.

When I was little, everything was black or white. Good was good, bad was bad, there was no middle ground. It was very easy, as you did what was good, you avoided what was bad, as there was consecuences for doing bad. Things happen, and you suddenly realize, that if you looked more carefully, the black and white blurr enough for there to be a discernable grey. Enough grey to make you think, to change some of the things you thought before. And then one day, BOOM! Suddenly, everything seems to be grey, and you dont know what to think anymore. Everything, the seemingly solid structure that you grew on and based and judged everything in your life, to make who you are, doesn't seem to fit you anymore. It seems very foreign, kind of shakey, even. There are the old ideas and such, but you are afraid to take hold of them, as it seems foreign, yet familiar, and might burn and sting when you touch them. And the new....you cant even fathom the new and different yet, let alone see what they are. You are constantly reminded by hundreds of happenings throughout the day, happenings of all sizes, that you are kinda hopelessly lost in the shades of grey. And it just isnt a good place to be hopelessly lost. And I wonder, how are you supposed to get out of all the grey? Is there black and white anymore? Of course there is grey, there always will and should be, but once you get here, can it ever get to where it is managable, like it seemed before?

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Friday, October 1, 2004

And would you believe?

"I think somone stepped on my heart. It is all smushed and bleeding, and it hurts amazingly so. ;_;" "Well, you shouldn't have left it lying on the floor like that. >:O" The past few days feel mushed together, like a really bad dream. In the past few days, the most I stayed awake was last night (morning?) for like 5 hours. The happenings in those 5 hours adds to the weird nightmare-ish dream quality of the past few days. 0.o Aye. And I noticed that when I send pms to people through MyO, it cuts a lot out, for some reason. Which makes for confusion all around. Apologies to all. Anyone who follows Egyptain culture sucks. >:O

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Tuesday, September 28, 2004

If I could make a career out of fretting and worrying, I would be a trillionair T_T

Bleh. I have been worrying about people, situations, stuff in general, and...I dunno. I think some of what I am being all stupid about is for naught. Then I get angry at myself, for revealing how dumb I really am, letting on I was worried about somone who was a tad depressed, writes stuff, deletes it, and then goes into gaming for a few days. ~_~ I mean, I am stupid that way, because I was worrying about somone who is fine. I havent asked them yet, but it is always the same answer, everytime. I mean, I am worried about other people and things, but this is just an example. Sometimes, I could just kick myself. But I am entirely too tired, so instead, I berate myself mentally. Yes, I know, just by me saying that, I just showed, again, how stupid I can be. >:| I am in this odd way today because I think I have been sick from worrying and being hurled down a road 60- 80 miles an hour for 5-6 hours at a time, for two days straight. And....last night, I was reading through my old stuff. Old convos, mostly. In some particular ones, I came off as a whiney little brat. In some of them, I used 'lol' a lot, to cover how hurt and heartbroken I was. But it made me sound so incredibly stupid, instead. ~_~ So, yeah. Methinks it is safer for me to be offline for a long while. Safer for everyone else, that is. <.<;;;

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Monday, September 27, 2004

My coffee is so strong it just winked at me. 0.o

I apologize to Tony a million trillion times. I'm really really really sorry. I really hope he gets my message, because...yeah. =\ My uncle gave me a huge dissertation about what I should do about my future. He is pushing me to do 'more' with what I want to major in. He explained that childcare is something anyone can do, and why do I want to lower myself to such a common job like that, when I can be a doctor or a nurse, something that earns a lot of money? He wants me to at least try most programs that a college would offer, to see if I wouldn't like anything 'better'. I tried explaining my point, but there is none to be had. All the work, money and effort I put into my school is wasted. I am not going. He wants me to take classes at NYU. I really really hope he lets me major in what I want to, which is still Child Management. I argued my point about my major enough that he got sick of talking to me. I will see what happends later, I guess. Went to bed at 2, woke up at 7am. Rushed around, got ready to go to PA for the funeral. I wanted to meet up with Sarah (anatema) first before I went, and we decided to meet up at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Dropped off my aunt in NY, made my way there. Spent half an hour in vain looking for a parking spot. Had to park in the museum parking lot (In the end, it was a $25 charge ~_~ ) Sarah, her sister, and her cousine (Leela) finally came. It was really fun hanging out with them, but I was really out of it. I dont think it started off that great when Sarah found me sitting on the bench, practically asleep (Didnt get much sleep, and had to take Benadryle T_T ) and had to tell me who she was. In all honesty, I dont think I would have recognized myself if I had a mirror X_+ Yeah, I can really dork it up, no? I didnt act myself at all. I was really distracted, worried about...stuff. Very quiet, and when I did open my mouth, I think most of the time I said stupid things. I think I made a really bad first time meeting IRL impression =\ When I left the Met at 3pm, I found myself good and lost for three solid hours in NYC. Mapquest somehow has it so there is like 5 different 5th avenues to choose from, labeled by numbers I dont understand, of course, and I had obviously chosen the wrong one. Finally found my way by accident. Arrived very very late. I have to call the people I need to call tomorow, as the last thing I need to top off this day is by rudely waking people up to tell them I made it. It hurts to remember today. I think it will, for a while T_T Tomorow, wake up at 6, drive 45 minutes to buy pantyhose, drive back 45 minutes. Get ready, go to viewing, funeral at 11. Whenever it is finished, right away I have to start driving back to NJ, as I dont want to put out David's parents any more than I already do(I am staying in his sister's room. All the kids are away at school, so I am the only kid here.) When I apologize for putting them out, they insist that I am not, and they are glad to have me here. Heh. I am going to go, as I feel like I am burning up, and dont feel well at all.

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Saturday, September 25, 2004

Shakalaka Oreyoo

At the end of today, for reasons I have no idea of, it hit me hard how long and hard I have to work to put myself through college. I mean, yeah, nothing is easy, but for some reason, I feel so tired and weary when I think about running myself out again at a low paying-hard labor job, to put myself through college and run myself out through that, saving tediously and maticulously all the while, then after college, work untill I die. Hey...sounds like a life plan! =X My mom wants me to come to the funeral. I dont know what I want. I have to decide quick, as if I do go, I have to leave early Sunday. And if I dont go....I dont know. I might regret it? Might disappoint the whole other side of the family? If this year was named after me, it would be called The Year of the Black Sheep. u_u That guy is garenteed to be there, and I really dont want to see him, especially in such close proximity. I am not scared of him, I am more scared of what I will do when around him. Somehow, I believe back-handing a widower at his wife's funeral could only make people biased. I, uh.... yeah. <.<;; There are some minor things I need to sort out. Eh, and a few big things, but I somehow know that those arent going to be any clearer than they are now for a very very long while. I have to end this post with w00t squared, just because I saw it in Sen's O, and it highly appeals to me. *can't make the squared sign* *fudges it* w00t (insert squared sign)

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