Saturday, September 11, 2004

Choking on irony isn't easy.

I got to play Literati against Shin ^_^ I think it was mostly by luck with random given letters that I scored 170 against 160. Tisn't true that I am sheltered because this is the first time I have ever seen Dumb and Dumber. It, uh, means that I don't watch movies. Much. At all. *winces at antics* =O!! aleia85: Dont let the bedbugs bite. OtakuSennen: I'm sprayed with insecticide. OtakuSennen: So I hope they do. OtakuSennen: HEADS WILL ROLL. >:| aleia85: That doesnt sound healthy OtakuSennen: But it makes your head feel happy. For some reason, I cant stop tumbling downwards. I miss my woods. And my kitties. And my siblings. I miss them the most. ;_;

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Friday, September 10, 2004

Rwar >:|

I am quite angry. Quite raging angry. And...I want to break down and cry. And I don't know exactly why. But I can guess at some of it. And it is so freaking stupid. Honestly, what's wrong with me? In my sleep, did my cousins or siblings accidently hit me on the head with such force I am rendered cripplingly stupid forever? Or was I lucky enough to be born this way? Rwar! >:O I am leaving for Manhatten tonight. Leaving Sunday for PA, wont be back in NJ untill late Wednesday. Hopefully. I have to brave my mom alone. Please wish me luck. I most likely need every bit I can get, and then some. Heh. T_T

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Thursday, September 9, 2004

Take me out to the matinee

It has been raining pretty hard for the past...day. Or so. So. The basement is flooding. I guess it wouldnt be that big of a deal, except we have to put boards down to walk, because the water is getting kinda high. Tis also where my uncle's office is. Which is where the computer is. And I saw a few roaches swimming in the water. Freakish things, they are. So, yeah. I am kinda scared of the water, especially water in the basement. I am talking to somone, and I am getting angrier and angrier, because I am making a complete fool and idiot out of myself. How come I don't know when to shut up? Is there lessons I can take for that? Or is it an instinct thing that I only lack? >:| DeathKnight V4: *pinches her cheek* DeathKnight V4: little aleia-weia doens't know what kenny-winny is talking about. DeathKnight V4: how cute is that DeathKnight V4: =^.^= Ramblings of a Kendork. It made me laugh. *half smiles*

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Wednesday, September 8, 2004

Franz Ferdinand rocks my socks.

Just so you know. You know, I dont think I want to go to college this year. Not that I have a choice, but most colleges have terms that start in winter. But I still dont want to go. I wanna take a real break and have fun. I highly doubt I really would be able to have that much of a break, or that much fun, because I would have to get a job to have money to have fun. Vicious cycle. The only way to cheat the vicious cycle is to totally mooch off my relatives, but I cant do that. One of the things I learned, living with my mom, is that I have to depend completely on myself. Applying to college: Myself. Driving 2 1/2 hours through places that her mom knows a bit but I have never ever been before, to get to my college?: Myself. Financial aid? Myself. Taking care of Aleia? Myself. That is why it is very difficult for me to accept help from anyone. You honestly wouldn't believe how difficult it is for me to let people help me. It is the same struggle I fight when people give me compliments, or gifts. Especially expensive gifts. It is Egyptian tradition to give girls gold as a present. When my uncle made me pick out some gold earings, it was so hard for me to accept them. Of course I took them, I had to, because they were a gift, but before we went to the jewlery shop, I kept telling him it wasn't neccessary, I didn't need them. He gently told me it was bad manners to turn down a gift. That was the only reason I accepted them as I did, but inside, I was struggling, and outside, I was blushing like crazy, and was pretty flustered and such. I get the same way, if somone gives me a huge compliment, or gives me praise for something. I think I feel I dont deserve it, but I dont know why I feel that way. Heh. Heh heh heh. Heh. Heh. "In the south, it was snowing. Many people there couldnt believe it, and actually stopped drinking booze" If you can guess where that was from, you get a hundred pounds. Which is equal to....maybe $20? =P But I have it here, if you want it. The Giver, by Lois Lowry, is one of my favorite books. Given, I have a lot of favorite books, but all of the ones on that list are ones that I really would want people to read, just because I think they are that good. So if you didn't read it yet, go look in the library. It really is a very interesting book, as is the second one, Gathering Blue. I haven't been able to buy the third one yet, and I have completly forgoten the name of it ;_; For some reason, I want some chocolate marshmallow swirl icecream. I can tell I lost weight. It seems more apparent now, for some reason. Probably because my pants are starting to hang off my hips. Or maybe I stretched them out T_T And here I am, wanting chocolate marshmallow icecream >.< Rwar! >:O Ask Shin about the McArabia. Go on, ask him. =P I feel so weary, so tired of life. I wish I had a place to finally be able to rest, to close my eyes and let my worries and stress fade away, but no, I dont believe there is such a place as that I wistfully dream of. I feel negative and morose. I wish I had someone to talk to right now. Ah well. You never get what you want.

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Tuesday, September 7, 2004

Nothing is ever as it seems.

Honestly, why on earth is the AOL company so popular? I can understand that they are way over their heads in money, because of the millions of trillions of pop-ups and notices of ad-ware advertisment programs trying to install themselves on my uncle's computer. This is all before I even have any windows open. >:| The pop-ups slay me so ;_; And every thirty secons, Scotty the Watchdog askes me about 7 different programs (Ad-ware) that havent been approved of beforehand. Then Scotty asks if I wanted my homepage to be changed to where it is trying to be changed to. I love Scotty the Watchdog. But remember, this is all happening about every minute or so. And there are about 7-9 windows that pop up in a row, asking me the same questions about the same types of things. So yeah. *shakes head* u_u What I notice so strongly lately is how barely anything is how it seems. People and their situations. I mean, I never expected everything to be as face value, but what I really hate is how all of what I see is what seems like people getting along, love each other, is really a facade. And then you get to witness all the backstage happenings. This all reminds me that I hate fighting. I really do. Especially the screaming kind, where the tension is so heavy you could suffocate in it, where the burning biting hating words thrown around so freely, where you are afraid this could only end in bruises. Or worse. How can you live that and still pretend to be happy? Methinks I have to start looking for a job here, if I am going to stay. After what needs to be done has happend, I honestly dont know what to do with myself, as one of the few reasons I am here will mostly be solved. I dont think I will be needed in that department anymore. It has gotten now so that things are starting to feel grey and monotonouse. Not even Ranma can get me out of it, as that is fading into that catagory. Or maybe I am too tired in a way that a weary methuselah is. Last Saturday, my cousins dragged me outside pretty early for a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament in the Toys-R-Us at Hudson Mall. Afterwards, ran to Newport for the movie, DDR, blah blah blah, back to Journal Square, then finally walked home from there. Long walk. 'Specially if you are already tired. Dropped off one of their friends that came along. As we were about to leave, his dad pulled up. Said hello and stuff to everyone. He turned to me and asked me in Arabic if I was my dad's daughter. I nodded in shock, while he repeated it in English. I kept nodding, while he went into a thing about how nice and wonderful a guy my dad is. (Off subject, but I notice lately that I understand a whole lot more Arabic than I can speak.) Invited me inside, still in a numb shock sort of state. Met the rest of his family. Two boys, two girls. The girls are older than the boys, 18, 13, then 11, I believe, and 4 or 5. He was telling everyone how wonderful my dad is, and that because I am my dad's daughter, that automaticly makes me as great as him, as wonderful and kind. He said he was proud to have me in his house, to consider me as one of his daughters, to treat his house as my own. Wow indeed. 0.0;; I met his daughter Sarah. We hit it off very well, at least I think so. It is hard to explain, but it feels like I knew her before. No, I dont mean that because her dad came in the living room and said about how when I was 4 or 5 ish, my dad took me over to their old house (he was doing some construction work in there) and me and Sarah played. In all honesty, her parents faces are familiar <.<;; I think it is both odd and cool that she has a lot of interests and likes that I have. And vice-versa, I believe. Sarah is really neat =D One of the things I notice about Egyptian culture is how people judge you on your family and their reputation. If your family is good but you are deemed not that great *cough*blacksheep*cough*, you are accepted by people, just because of your family name, of who your parent(s) are. If your family name is bad.....heh. I can only imagine what it is like. Not good. I fully and completely disagree with that system. I dont like it one bit. Most Egyptian families run like the maffia. X_+ There is a maffia gang that is pretty near where I live. My uncle knows them, as they pay him to build buildings for them of sorts. The stuff I have been told, you dont want to mess with any of them. You might think twice about looking at one funny. Heh. Heh heh. Heh. Heh. <.<;; I want to play Literati ^_o Edit: I clicked 'random member' and I got myself XD

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Monday, September 6, 2004

....Suddenly, bright light flooded the room. The avid gamers, unused to this natural phenomenon, hissed and retreated.

Yes. I am back from my adventure. *waves at droves of fans cheering upon the news of her arrival.* Har. I learned a lot, on my trip to Egypt. In the end, the trip had more positive than negative aspects, if you could believe that. I am the black sheep. *half grins* I watched Grave of the fireflies. I am predictable in the sense that yeah, I cried at the end. Twas very sad, indeed. I have an account at NationStates.net. Firosia is my nation. I always thought it looked interesting, but my brother went though abnormal lengths for me not to find the site, for some reason <.<;; Ken beat me in my first game of Literati, 219 to 111, I believe. That hurt. *winces* I foresee lots of guarenteed heavy trouble. I wish it wasn't so, I really do. But I know it has to happen, and I think things are going to be bettered by it. But it still makes me anxiouse and worried. =\ So my technique is to stay awake, untill my mind is so exausted and weary, I cant help but fall asleep. Seems nothing else short of a huge-oungouse tranquilizer will be able to get me to sleep in peace. lol, it isn't bad or whatever. It just really messes up my sleeping schedual and stuff. I finally slept at 9:30 this morning, so, yeah. And had a weird, yet interesting dream about the trip to AX. Involved some crazy driving. X_+ Yar. Outside, it feels like autumn. Tis getting chilly. *shivers* I talked to my brother, and he said about how he found out something, when doing routine cleaning. The one hardrive kept asking to be reformatted. All the anime and music videos are gone. Everything. Completely gone. ....so...so.....sad. ;_; *sighs* Anyways, I missed you guys. Leave a comment, tell me how you have been doing, how things are going, how the leaves are falling. =)

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Tuesday, August 17, 2004

To inspire witty one-liners

I couldnt sleep the other night, and I was tossing and turning. I tumbled right off the bed and onto the floor. The fall kinda stunned me (Hey, it was dark, and unexpected) so imagine my suprise when a heavy-ish weight plunked on my back. I broke my cousine Ahmed's fall. For the weirdest reason, he was wearing shoes, so that kinda added some to the shock value of his arrival. I tried to wake him up. He snored and sucked his thumb. *half grins* I am glad he is small for his age. <.<;;; If something gets lost in translation, how can you find it? And would you want it back, after where it could have been? For the longest time, I have been wondering if I am an adult or a kid. I think I feel like a mature kid, but my mom is forever yelling that I need to be mature, to grow up. I dont want to be a stuffy adult, I dont think I have it in me. But I think people expect something of me, because they think I am an adult. Like here, for example, I feel I am more expected to sit around with the adults and talk about sometimes boring stuff, when I would much rather run off and play games with the kids. Just what constitutes an adult?

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Monday, August 16, 2004

http://images.net3media.com/funnyfreepics/cows.jpg

http://images.net3media.com/funnyfreepics/stop.jpg Click them. You want to click them, because the links, they compel you. Plus Ben showed them to me =P Ok. On to very current events. Heh. What I most feared basicly happend. I feel like I was shot in the heart. I feel like I am bleeding so freely. But it is my fault, I guess. I wish I didnt do such stupid things. Now, on to happier happenings. I finally went into the Karawan pool, after being here for 3 weeks. I am suprised I wasnt yelled at by relatives for it. lol, of course I didnt swim. I tried to teach myself, though. Maybe there will be luck later. I dont know how trust that I wont drown. So, until then, I will just teach myself how to float. The agenda (agenda = relatives) says that we are leaving for Alexandria Wednesday. *is uber excited* I take Shin's challenge, but it will have to waite for me to come home. I give you....sand from my shoe. I only accept the highest bidder.

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Sunday, August 15, 2004

Ahna aysa aroo

Some time ago, I asked my mom to help me get my loan, for college. All she had to do was ask the school to get things started for me, so all I had to do was sign papers when I got home. I asked her to pick a loan plan she thought best. Very recently, she tells me she isnt going to help me, that it is all my responsability. How am I supposed to call the college, when it is 200 pounds per 5 minutes to the US? I can't do it. On these computers, I tried using my email, and the characters suddenly dont want to be English anymore. They can be Arabic, Chinese, Korean, but not English. Its hard now to write comments in anyone's O's. I cant log into AIM, because the password comes up in Arabic. I am shocked that it is writing English for here. :o I have no idea what I am going to do now. I guess I have to start looking for another job when I get home, and I have to go to school in the winter. But I most for certain cant stay home. Any and all good-sense suggestions are welcome. Please. Heh. I guess I knew I couldnt depend on her. I never could. Nothing changed. I was talking to my one cousine the other night. He asked me where my boy cousine from the US was, because he wasnt in the house. I said he was off running around somewhere, and I looked at the clock. It was past 12 am. I said I will never understand why it is ok for him, a 14 year old boy, to be running around in the middle of the night, but if I was to step outside, by myself, for any reason, it is automaticly assumed I was drinking and sleeping around. He looked out the window, and said that girls are not lucky here. I know. I will visit here again, but I cant ever live here. I guess I find it hard to make myself lower, second class. Or third. I dunno. My uncles took a lot of my cousines and aunts to this wee little theme park. It was nice, becuase I was with my cousines and such, you know? Most of them wanted to go into this lame-ish looking haunted house thing. I went, because I was bored out of my mind. It was to be expected, lots of flashing lights, taped creaks and shrieks blaring from bad speakers. We ended up in a room with a dark light, and this head fell from the ceiling, on a string. Everyone was screaming. I was more like yelling, because this huge plastic spider bungeed into my hair and got caught and tangled. After a minute, I finally untangled it, and it flew back into the ceiling (My youngest cousine was wrapped tightly around my arm with a deathgrip, which made untangling the spider a challenge =P) Right next to where I was standing, there seemed to be an obviouse curtained entrance of sorts. I kinda knew what was going to happen. Soon enough, this guy with a mask screamed and jumped out. On impulse, I screamed and jumped out at him. He fell back into the curtain, tangling himself in it and dragging the curtain down with him. The curtain swallowed him up like it was a hungry black ominouse monster, and he was laying on the ground, struggling out of it. I snuck out the exit, leaving everyone roaring with laughter. =X I didnt mean for it to turn out tha way. lol, I dont know what I was expecting. I, erm, also dont quite know why I did it. But, ah, I have to admit, it was pretty funny. *smothers a giggle* Good times, good times. Oy, when I finally go to Alexandria, there will be postcards for all. Though, they will mostly likely come after I am done with Egypt, as it takes mail 14-15 days to get to the US. =O My uncle made a comment about me with my headphones and my "shaytan music". (Shaytan means the devil in Arabic) When he said that, it was in all seriousness. But I completely ruined the rest of his speech with my sudden laughing. I couldnt help myself. The lunacy of it all just hit me so suddenly. I thought I was going to get into deep trouble for laughing. Of course, he couldnt find the humor that I found in it, so he started yelling at me. I still couldnt stop laughing XD I wonder how he knows what my music sounds like? I only listen to my music before I go to sleep... 0.o Too much to say, but not quite sure how to say it. It is getting "late". I better go, before I taint the family name forever with my sinful ways. =X I mean, um, yeah. ^_~

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Thursday, August 12, 2004

Heh.

rioki89: Everyones wants to tell you that being in the streets late at night in egypt makes you look like a whore in egyptions eyes aleia85: Oh my goodness, aleia85: Lol, are you seriouse??? aleia85: Oh my goodness rioki89: Didnt you know? aleia85: Oh my goodness rioki89: Suprised? aleia85: Oh yeah aleia85: I dont care about my reputation rioki89: They say you bring embarrasment to the family Yes, people. That is why my uncle is angry that I stay out late. Random fact, news to me. I wonder...How would anyone know who I am? I mean, I dont have my last name tatooed on me anywhere... <.<;; T__T *thanks Laura* Ugliness is in a way superior to beauty because it lasts. - Serge Gainsbourg, French vocalist My new motto, maybe? I finished reading these two books, called The Outsiders and Tithe. Both of vastly different catagories, but very very good. Tithe is a faiery tale, set in modern time, while The Outsiders is more of a real life thing. Like I said before, both very good. I recommend both to anyone and everyone with eyes. Yeah.

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