Friday, June 25, 2004

The gentle spinning whirls crazily out of controle

And I want off this crazy ride *~* Did you know that anesthesia can mess up body systems and functions? I can honestly say I never knew that, untill very very recently. u_u I taste blood, or smell it, constantly, since the operation. Whichever it is, I wish it would stop, the heavy iron smell is making me want to throw up. I feel if I throw up, I am going to make something inside me explode that shouldn't. I feel miserably sick, nautause. I eat once a day, and when I do, I instantly regret I even thought of it. The smell of food, it makes me dizzy with sick. My eyelids arent as swollen shut as on Wednesday, but they are very very very sore, oozing...stuff at every opertune moment. I deal. It is just hard to see, and work wont stop calling, because Creation traffic is making them call in more employees. "Hello?" "Aleia, this is Amber, from work. Can you come in today?" "No." "Why?" "I just had surgury done on my eyes, I can barely see." "Even if you got a ride, you still couldn-" "You dont understand. The stitches, the blood in my eyes. I can barely see." "So you dont feel you can work today, at three?" If she somehow hadnt stumbled upon the tittle "manager", I would have hung up on her. I comforted myself with the knowledge that she has said stupider to me, at many a different time. Why get upset now, over something she cant controle? lol, its just hard to deal, when your head is pounding like it wants to become one with the beating of your heart or something, and thoughts are swirling around and around, and there are times where you cant tell up from left, or down from right, let alone coherent thoughts that connect and make sense. But I really really need to go to work soon. I need to get the meager check waiting for me, I need to bring in more, so I can try to climb out of debt. I just got a letter telling me how much I have to pay for college, or else they wont let me move in. I have to somehow manage to try to pay this amount every semester, or else they are going to make me leave campus. w00t. Huh, lets see. Uh, at least, the stuff leaking out of my eyes is clear, and not dark blood red, like I was crying blood, like it seemed before. Or was I? What little I could manage to open my swollen eyes, I saw dark blood red, with a dark brown iris in the middle. Scary. Very scary. o.o;;; Maybe because I am feeling delirious or something, but I feel so weepy. I have questions that dont have answers, and my thoughts are becomming jumbly, disconnected. I feel I am becoming detatched? lol, at least what I am worrying over is probably nothing, right? Right?

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Tuesday, June 22, 2004

The teenage adult.

Today I had to go to the pre-surgury physical. The older brother had made plans with a friend to go to the mall, look at games and stuff. That would leave the three youngest home alone. My gut instinct insistantly whispered in my inner ear "Do you want to leave some of the most immaturest of the family...home...alone...together...with so many possabilities for chaos and disaster upon arrival home? Do you want the guilt of possible deaths over a piece of bread or the house aflame hanging over your head for the rest of your life? WOooo..WOooo...." So I proposed the idea upon my three youngest siblings about a day out of the house. My two sisters' cries of glee drowned out the moaning and groaning of the youngest brother, who didn't want the bother of dressing up for outside, and actually moving. A little bit of "persuasion" on my part got him half decently dressed and in the car. Off we went, to my appointment. After a long time passing, things got done, and I took them to McDonalds. I felt really really bad, because I had so little money, and they were really hungry, so I stretched what I could portion out as far as I could for them. I think they were full enough, with the sandwich and ton of fries and the huge chocolate milkshake ordered up for 'em. =P Eh, I am glad I wasnt that hungry. *nods* I took them over to the bookstore, where they looked around while I got my long anticipated Fruits Basket #3. I wanted to get it before they sold my copy =\ Then.....I took them to see Shrek 2. Then they wanted candy. u_u So they got some. But not that much. lol, can't spoil them completely. I still live with them =X *cough* After that, took them to the library. I had to return some things, pay some overdue on the stuff because my mom wouldn't take me ( -.- ) Spent lots of time there. I was pleasently suprised how much they liked it. I mean, I like going there, but, as you guys know, I am not of the average kid/teen <.<;;; I went off and mailed checks to the state and to the college. My mom is making me immediatly sign all of my pay checks over to her, because she paid $600 for me to get my car back. I honestly dont know how I am going to get gas money out of this deal, she plans on doing it untill she is fully completely satisfiededly paid back. When I was driving home, the two in the back fell asleep, while my sister raved back to me about how great the day was. I was thinking about how the baby sister is 10, and how her life is entirely different than mine was at that age. And I am really glad of that. I feel like the parent all the time. Not quite sure why. Probably because I am always doing things that my mom should be doing. Taking them places, listening to problems, giving advice, loaning money that I refuse to let them pay back to me, just....stuff. I dunno. I feel so old and tired, for being so "young". lol, because I feel like this, shouldn't a good side effect, like wisdom or better common sense, be apparent in me yet? =P *Waits for wisdome and common sense to grace her presence* .....*Is still waiting* A nurse called me this morning, to explain to me how things are going to go tommorow. I cant eat or drink from midnight on, so I dont get sick from the anesthetic. She told me the procedure would take four hours! =O Thats not including the stuff that has to get done before hand <.< Wish me luck.....

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Teh funnies

Packman Mario Link Tetris Kirby HERE CATS Brahn I highly suggest clicking the link on the bottom labeled "humor" after reading this one College questionare

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Insomnia is contagiouse

Indeed it is. I blame Ben u_u After tossing and turning all boring night long, I finally just decided to get up and do whatever. Just as I was done comforting the puppy in the bathroom, my mom woke up for work. She took one good look at me, then started yelling that she thinks I didn't get any sleep, because I sure don't look it. u_u I messed around on the computer (It was four in the am) and found Des online. I was like "Oh wow, Des, online!" Poor Des. I bet he thinks I am some kind of nutter or something. I guess I am silliest in the wee early morning? Or it could be lack of sleep u_u Be careful. That could be a warning <.<;;; Yesterday was Azure's birthday. Methinks he turned 20. Or something like that. ^_~ I was too...something yesterday to make a post, let alone plug about a birthday. What am I going to do with myself?? I also forgot to plug about Preston's birthday, which was some time ago. I am so lazy ;_; While I'm at it, I may as well mention Sarah, just because I love her ^_^ And MiaMia, Ginny, Ken, Michael, Charlie, and AJ, Laura, Senny (Contrary to Azure's beliefs, he doesn't...you know... =\ ), Erin, Molly.....oh heck, if you are on my list, then you are automaticly plugged. No, really. Look at the setup! All clicky-ness! I am too lazy, and it is very early in the morning, after all. <.<;;; EdItEd: Fixed the plug for ya, Shin ^_~

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Sunday, June 20, 2004

Down side up side down

The boggling of my mind has deepend. ;_; I think...no, I know things are going to be so much more better for me when I leave. All this bad crazy crap just keeps building up, heavier and heavier on my shoulders. I dont know how much I can carry anymore. *tear*

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Saturday, June 19, 2004

XO

Rwar. I am a tight knot. My heart is sad, and my mind is very boggled. Deeply boggled, about many different things. -.-;; My internal clock is telling me it is fall....when I defidently know for a fact it isn't. u_u

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Friday, June 18, 2004

The sister on the chair goes

Leave whatever comments you feel like leaving. Or, as my 7th and 11th grade science teacher used to say after each lesson "Questions, comments, insults?"

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Thursday, June 17, 2004

Blatently stolen

Basics Name:: Aleia Age:: 19 1/2 Height:: 5'6 Hair Color:: Dark brown Eye Color:: Dark brown School Life What's your school's mascot?: Highschool - Rockets. Dont remember the college one, but I remember it being...a bit lame. <.<;;; School color(s)?: Highschool - Blue, white, and gold. College - Crimson and grey, I believe. G.P.A.?: 3.10 ( Shocks my socks =O!!!) Who is your favorite teacher?: Mr. Hicks and Mrs. Hicks (Mother/Son) X_+ What do they teach?: Social studies, English. Is this your favorite class?: Eh, I guess. Academic-wise: Erg X_+ Overall: I thought I always did terrible <.< Internet Do you use any instant messengers?: Yesh. If so, which ones?: AIM, MSN, YIM. About how many hours a day do you spend online?: Not many Do you have a digital camera?: Yup Yup If so, do you post pictures of yourself online?: When I want to induce nightmares >:D Music Do you play any instruments?: I always wanted to play the drums. =\ If so, what one(s)?: I play everything perfectly *snicker* 3 Favorite Genres Of Music: Almost everything except polka and country >_< 3 Favorite Bands:: Too many to say <.< Do you go to concerts and/or shows?: Never went to one. What is the most you've ever spent on a concert/show?: $0,000 million trillion. What is the least you've ever spent?: Zilch Do you think buying merch at a concert then wearing it there is corny?: Who cares what people think? >:O Do you listen to any bands that you'd be ashamed to admit to listening to?: Uhh...a song here or there <.<;;;; Did you notice the grammatical error in question 29?: Maybe. Word Association Blue:: Ocean and sky Camera:: *click* *flash* Boy:: Hurt, stupid Pretty:: Somone else Pants:: Loose and comfortable Music:: Veerrryyy good God:: Stranger Sweater:: Too hot Live Journal:: Mine? MTV:: Yuck Labels: Do you think labels are dumb?: They are under me. Why or why not?: Its just...stupid. 0.o What do people label you as?: Iunno How/Why did you get this label?: Har. When somone tells me what my 'label' is, then I will know ^_~ Which Is Worse? Physical Pain/Emotional Pain?: Both. But it seems physical goes away eventually. Blink-182/Good Charlotte?: Geesh, none >_< Being Deaf/Being Blind?: Being deaf. Being Bored/Rushing around because you have too much to do?: Being bored. Losing your dominant leg/Losing your dominant arm?: Leg. Love Do you believe theres a difference between "love" and "in love"?: No. Is it better to have loved and lossed than to have never loved at all?: No. Are you romantic?: Yes. Are you in a relationship now?: No. If not, how long have you been single?: Forever and ever. What song describes your love life right now?: There isnt one made yet. Ranomosity War - Good or Bad?: Bad. I think. What do you think of designer labels?: Expensive cheap quality stuffs. Who's skankier - Britney Spears or Paris Hilton?: They can both afford the rest of the pieces of...cloth strips/strings they wear. What is it with guys and cars?: Not all guys are obsessed with cars <.< Do you sing?: Yup. If so, what part (Soprano 1,Alto 2, et cetera)?: Alto. I still dont understand how I got into highschool Chorus <.<;;; Kiss or hug?: Hug. What color is your room?: Ugh. *shakes head* I am not going there. How old is your mom?: 45, I believe. Black and white or color photos?: Depends on what effect/mood you are going for. Who cuts your hair?: No one >:D What color is your toothbrush?: Blue! What color is your hair brush?: One is blue and black, the other blue and silver :D What kind of hair products do you use?: Whatever works. Is K-Mart just the poor man's Wal-Mart?: K-Mart is more expensive than Wal-Mart o.o Are you sexy?: In a dark enough room, at times I can be desribed as sort of cute >:D Bwehehehe.... What color to people tells you looks nice on you?: Purple -.- What color do you think looks nice on you?: All shades of blue. And I like green. And purple. White looks nice, too... Clothes shopping or grocery shopping?: What about window shopping? Who do you sit with at lunch?: I always sat wherever Heath and David sat. Do you like the sound of your own voice when you hear it played back?: No =\ Who has the nicest speaking voice that you know?: I think Sarah, Ken and Heath have nice voices. What is the website for one of your favorite bands?: Mweh. Do you prefer to date people younger, older, or the same age as you?: Doesnt matter =P Do you listen to songs on repeat often?: *nods* Most defidently Who was the last person you hung out with?: Uh...I guess David What did you and that person do?: I was trying to talk to him, but he was playing Online WarCraft. He wasnt listening, so I left. Do you use internet shorthand (i.e. "lol", "brb", "jk", et cetera)?: Eh, when I see it neccessary. Are you a people-pleaser?: <.<;;; Do you dye your hair regularly?: Nope. What about your eyebrows?: >:O Do you wear makeup?: No way. If you answered "yes", to #96, are you female?: Because I dont wear makeup, I am not a girl? 0.o Do you buy CDs edited or unedited?: Unedited. Rwar. Can you beatbox?: Cant say I do. Does your mom like the song "Hey Ya" by OutKast?: I highly doubt she has heard it, and I highly doubt she would like it. Its just not her thing. And that song has gotten very annoying to me, anyways -.-

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Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Cross my heart and hope to die; stick surgury needles in both my eyes X_+

In less than a week, I am going for my eye surgury. The appointment today was to remeasure things (That stayed the same), but I am loseing controle over things. Heh. I guess it goes both ways <.<;; The doctor explained that after I get put under general anesthetic, he is going to cut incisions in both my eyes, cut certain muscles, and reattach them centimeters back. There is a chance it wouldn't work, and he would have to do it again. There is a chance I can lose my sight. But I dont think the last part is gonna happen. *shakes head* I know the surgury is going to go well... But why am I still so nervouse? =\ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ The rather large rural area called Bellview is roughly 55% Amish. Every Wednesday, they hold some kind of flea market/yardsale thingamajiger. Very very huge. Boring for me, as I dont currently have a huge interest in old things I dont need, produce I dont want to buy, stuff like that. My mom loves it. She also loves going yard-saleing, a hobby I remember her dragging the teeny cramped car stuff with yours truley and Co. in the pre-work days. Its common sense that if you were to hold a yardsale, best do it when everyone is most likey out, probably going to the mess of selling in the huge field. So, this morning, my mom was very happy. I was ok with all the yard saleing, as I was asleep most of the time ^_~ When I finally woke up, my mom had stopped at an Amish farm. Now we have a PUPPY. A PUPPY!!! Whee ^.^ She is incredibly cute ^_^ But we already have a lot of dogs <.<;;; Oh well...

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How evil are you? ....I answered those questions honestly X_+ You have an intense kiss! You and your partner connect when you kiss and you forget about the rest of the world. Hey, call me!!! ^_~ What anime kiss are you? brought to you by Quizilla Who would have guessed <.<;;; You are the nonsense friend...you are happy, crazy and a disaster...You're a really good friend but kinda dumb, well, you're funny and cute and that's what makes people like you... What kind of friend are you?(anime pics) brought to you by Quizilla Uh. Not that stupid 0.o;;

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