Friday, May 21, 2004

Amnesia never looked so good.

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Thursday, May 20, 2004

=( >_< =\

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Wednesday, May 19, 2004

I kissed you in the water, and made your dry lips sing

One time, I was talking to Azure on AIM. My mom and my brother were arguing about something, goodness knows exactly what. I avoid involving myself into arguments, especially if they dont have to involve me. I dont like the yelling, the atmosphere they create. Anyways, to prove a point to my brother, my mom started to pull random plugs from the computer, thus making it not work temporarily. -.- Yesterday morning, I woke up and went on the computer for about half an hour. I wasn't feeling well at all, and I had to go to work later that day. My mom gave me a sort of list of things to do, did some of them, and told my mom that I would finish the rest of them after I took a nap. She got kind of angry (Well, more like on the side of furiouse <_<;;), told me I was lazy, and that I use the computer too much. When I woke up later, mum was gone, and the computer was off. I decided to try to download some of Tony's songs again, for some reason before it wouldn't catch. When I turned the computer on, it made a loud funny BEEP BEEP noise. ...It kept restarting itself. o.o I honestly don't know what she did to it, but I knew it could be easily fixed. I did some stuff to it, and finally got a menue that I could work with. I was almost done, when my mom came home. I figured either I could finish it later, or my brother will when he came home. I came home from work around 10:30. My siblings updated me about how my mom and my brother were arguing about something again, and in the end, she took the keyboard and the mouse and hid them. I figured she put them in her car. So, in retaliation, my brother took the second hard drive he bought and installed in there, and some kind of plug that wont let the computer even turn on. So...yeah. Everything happends when I am not at home. I wish everyone would just stop fighting. =( That means that anything I had stored on there is..temporarily unavailable. That also means no AIM, which is going to make things much more lonlier than they already are. Has to do with work, long story. Could be untill tonight, a few days, or even untill I save enough for my own computer, for college. Which is in a few months X_+ Ever since I could drive, I go to the library, because it is a neat place to look around in, brouse. They also have computers that have internet access, so that was neat, too. Lol, I am not obsessed with the internet, I could live without it if I really wanted to. But if I am here, why not? I might be able to post once or twice a week, depends on work schedual. I am going to miss a lot of people from online... *is sad* =\ And I see now that the songs that I wanted from Tony are gone from the list. >_< Oh well...=\

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Monday, May 17, 2004

Meh. I found out I am not going to Egypt.... I am not really sad, but heavily disappointed. =\ Ok, yeah, I guess I am sad =( I was just looking forward to a vacation, one away from home =\ *is sad*

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Hmm...I think I want to change my layout. Not sure what to do with it though. Suggestions are welcomed and acutally encouraged!!! =O Many things have changed recently. So much so fast. The way I felt about somone, the way I viewed them, changed very, very drasticly. My job takes a lot of my time and energy *whimpers =(* and my relationship with my brother, I think, is going to be different from now on. Which is a very very good thing, by the way. <_< I went to get him from his trip last night, around 12 something in the AM. Mum was working today, and when I finally woke up this morning (Ok, ok, afternoon >:\ ), we had a long long talk, about many many things. He isn't the complete jerk I thought him to be, and he gained a lot of insight as to why things are the way they are, in the situations that I knew of, anyways. I think things are going to change for the better, at least for the both of us (Yeah, he is leaving for college, too). It is a bit odd, though, that I am getting closer to him as we are both going to leave home. Better now then never, so oh well. ^_^ Know what another weird word is? Endoplasmic reticulum. I believe it's little things that clean up stuff in cells...either that, or it is a process of cleaning in cells. Biology stuffs. It is neat to say, anyways. Last night, I learned many things. Like Senny hates Biology. 0.o And that Azure...nevermind. *laughes* And some...new..words. #_@ *cough* Yes. Intriguing stuff. I sent somone an e-mail, and I wonder if they even read it. I mean, I could ask, but they don't come online, and calling them could be a bother for them. I realize I have a fear that I could become a pest to other people. That fear alone could be annoying other people ("Am I bothering you? Am I being a pest? Are you sure? I really don't want to bother you if you are busy....") so....I don't know what I am doing. <_<;;; *needs good advice* Things feel more real. Going to Egypt (Vacation!!)feels real. Going to college feels real. I know for a fact when I go to college, it will be the end of my old life, of living here at home with this miserable negative energy. You can feel it all the time, living here. It sucks you in, holds you down, and when you break free for a few days and come back, you always feel dreading, soberness from any happy high you have, knowing you will be stuck here for a long long long while. Going to college is going to end that. Once I go, I never have to come back. My life as I know it will change forever, the end of the old and the begining of the exciting new, the unknown. I think I could grow to love life. *hugs everyone*

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Saturday, May 15, 2004

Do you know what a neat word is? Hullabaloo. hullabaloo \HUL-uh-buh-loo\, noun: A confused noise; uproar; tumult. You can't argue with that one. *shakes head* I like what I do for work. It isn't hard, it is just extremely busy. Lots of running around and stuff. And people rude and nasty for no or silly reasons. I just figure they either had a bad day, or they are just naturally grumpy. =X But those kinds don't come all that often, so all is good ^_^ Whenever I got home last night, my siblings were running outside, yelling something at the top of their lungs. When I got out of the car, I was tackled down and hugged hard. I laughed and asked what was going on. They told me Central Penn called to congradulate me on being accepted. I felt a happy but very numb feeling, and all I could say was a stunned "Hey, thats cool." Actually, I am still in a sort of shock about it. Mhm. ^___^

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Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Alexander the Burn Victim There's no second chances No time for romances, o-oh No consequence weighing His heart left decaying, o-oh He's lost in his thinking Disguised by his drinking, o-oh No regret or falling No well wishers calling, o-oh And when he sleeps i hope he's okay But when he drinks he hits on you And when he sleeps i know he's okay Cos when he dreams he's someone new The pain of desire is quenched by the fire, o-oh No inkling of caring He's grief-striken, staring, o-oh No bloodloss or feeling As smoke hits the ceiling, o-oh He sips down his sorrow And prays "no tomorrow," o-oh o-oh But when he sleeps I hope he's okay But when he drinks he hits on you And when he sleeps I know he's okay Cos when he dreams he's someone new I love you, Alexander (x4) We'll be together forever It's all for love (x11) It's all for . . . And when he sleeps I hope he's okay But when he drinks he hits on you And when he sleeps I know he's okay Cos when he dreams he's someone new, ooh No hearing her laughter For in the hereafter, o-oh He's handsome, well-spoken His heart can't be broken, o-oh o-oh, oh o-oh, oh Goodnight, Alexander Goodnight Goodnight . . . Tony has the mp3. I highly suggest you go get it. It is a really really good song.. *drifts off*

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When I wrote the poem, I didn't think about how everyone would react to it. I wrote it to get out how I was at the time, how I feel. Yeah yeah, somone told me that lots of people feel that way, but somehow, that isn't very comforting =P I guess I scared people with the poem...I honestly didn't intend that. I am really sorry. *apologizes* And....I promise to not ever hurt myself again. Honest to goodness. When I turned off my O, I stayed in bed for a long long time. I felt like I wasn't alive, non existent. That doesn't make sense, huh? I can't really describe how I felt, I doubt I ever can. But oh well, I am here, and I am almost normal (Wipe that smirk off your face! >:O I know you are probably thinking "What? Aleia was normal at one time?" Silly people =P) I will talk to everyone later, hopefully ^_^

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There was once a little acorn in a small valley that grew into a tiny sapling. Its roots were barley in the ground, the small little branches and tiney little green leaves fragile and innocent. Many a destructive storm came into the life of the little sapling, at times breaking branches, ripping off leaves, loosening the roots in the ground. There was a horrendouse storm that broke the little sapling in half. The little sapling slowly started to die. Unbeknownst to it, the raging storm causing destruction within was affecting the surrounding area of where it lived. The ground was now dry and crumbly, the air heavy and oppresive. The sun scorching and burning. Thick heavy dirt covered what was left of the sapling. The sapling couldn't breath. Everything was fadeing away. A rare gentle wind wisped the essense of the broken sapling out of its' wooden shell. The spirit, if you will. The spirit was drifting in the warm gentle breeze and got caught on the branches of the other saplings surrounding it. Somehow, the spirit of the broken sapling absorbed some positive engergy from the other saplings that tried to nurture it back to the broken wooden shell that still remained stuck in the ground. "You are stronger than you know, you will make things work" the leaves whispered in the soothing gentle breeze that was miraculousely gliding through the little valley. The essense of the broken sapling drifted down to its shell, and took root. All of a sudden, the sky darkend, and a warm gentle rain washed away all the dirt and grime covering the little sapling. It nourtured the little saplings' roots, bringing them deeper into the ground, taking strong hold. Cool honeysuckle scented breezes caressed the healing sapling. The sapling felt more at peace. It knows it isn't very strong yet, but it knows that in time, it will be just as strong as the other trees in the little valley. And all is good.

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Are You Good In Bed? Full Name Age Are You Good In Bed? There's a line 'round the block for you This QuickKwiz by KimmyAlberts - Taken 14812 Times. How High Is Your Sex Drive? Name Age Gender Your Sex Drive Level Is.. - 83% This QuickKwiz by eva71 - Taken 122651 Times. =O!! *cough* <_<;;; How will you DIE? Name / Username You will die by ninja attack At age 93 This QuickKwiz by Confused_Pete - Taken 16925 Times. ^^^ I just found those results very amusing <_<;; I am truly passionate. Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

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