Wednesday, March 31, 2004

There is so much that has happend, and yet, I can't think of anything to say without sounding stupid, or without going into deep explenation. Yeah, the one guy resident that I mentioned before, I really don't like him. He did alot of things today that fully and completely disgusted me. He is giving me very much unwanted attention, and I wish he would stop >_< When I am around him and he says the things he says, I relive hell all over again, and I remember gut twisting nightmares. Bah on old perverted men! >_<

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Tuesday, March 30, 2004

My life makes me tired and weary.

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Freefalling alone through air heavy with confused indecision without a saftey net just isn't healthy. Take note and remember, failing appetites, bad nerves and destructive actions are not good hobbies to pick up at an early age. Or at all, for that matter. ^_~ The other night at work, this one resident had to go to the bathroom. It wasn't a big deal, I put on his prosthetic leg, helped him into the bathroom, told him to ring his call bell when he was done, and turned to leave. He grabbed my shirt bottom, and said No, no, I am not allowed to be in the bathroom by myself. You have to stay with me. I thought that highly odd, and asked another nurse who was nearby about it. She said she never heard that, but then again, she hadn't worked in that wing for a while, and it could be a new order. He could be the kind to try to get up himself, and fall and break whatever. She told me to stay with him, just in case. So I did. I stared at the door the whole time, and he kept trying to talk to me. Lol, I guess he didn't realize a bathroom with a girl nurse and an old guy on the toilet is a bit of an awkward place/situation to hold any sort of comfortable conversation. Not that I could understand half of what he was saying anyways, but that's not the point. Today, he went into the bathroom, and the nurse I was with just said to ring his call bell when he was done, and shut the bathroom door after him. I was a bit shocked, and asked her if he was allowed to be in there by himself. She sounded a bit confused when she said Yeah, of course he is. Why wouldn't he be? I explained to her about what he said, and that was when I realized he was a false sayer, and a perv to top it off. I feel taken advantage of. -_- Did I mention angry? >:O Heh, it was then that I found out he is a "recognized" perv; he is perverted in only what he says. >_< This morning, I felt a bit happy, for no apparent reason. Or, it could have been because I got to talk to Mia Mia and Rob. Yeah, I think it was that. ^_~ I have been thinking about what my mom said to me, about how I was selfish. I am not quite sure in what exact ways I act that way, but I am kinda afraid she could be right. I am afraid that the whole time I thought I wasn't, the whole time I thought I put other people ahead of myself, I really wasn't. Selfishness is something I never want to be, among other things, and it hurts me that I could possibly be what I really don't want to be, and that if I felt I was straining myself in being unselfish and I really am, then I cannot ever possibly see beyond myself, and I can't ever become unselfish, because you just can't do things you don't know how. Geesh, I think I might have OD'ed on the contraction cannot up there <_<;; My teacher told me she thinks I need an extra week of orientation. It made me feel kinda stupid, like I was incapable of learning in the time that most people can learn in. Bah >_< On Sunday night, a bunch of people broke into the highschool. They got in by the weakspots, where they scaled a cement wall, and got in where they are still building the additions and remodeling stuffs. Those kids took spraypaint and decorated most of the walls and floors with, well, penises. They basicly wanged the whole school. They took all the food out of the freezers and refrigerators, and strewn it about all over the place. The kids also dragged in an awful lot of dead animals, and hung/strewn/draped those all around, too. Mostly in the kitchen and cafeteria did they do this. Animals such as skunks(X_+), possums(>_<), chickens(0.-), and squirrels (;_;). They really did alot of damage while they were in there, with hammers and whatever else they had. I forget the exact damage, but it was horrendously high. There are entirely too many stupid people in this world. They don't have any suspects at all, but it has been predicted that the group of kids is sometime in the near future is going to get themselves wasted at some stupid party, and they are going to spill all. Everyone is going to be listening closely for a long while, as the vice principle offered his own Harley as a reward for accurate vandalism catching information. u_u

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Monday, March 29, 2004

Last night, on nightshift, one resident puked three times, we had to clean and change all of his bedsheets. Another guy started throwing up too, and that was a mess -_- Strangly, I can stand bathroom stuff enough, and blood doesn't bother me. I cannot not at all stand throw up. Cleaning that stuff up was really hard for me >_< Another resident peed herself, as did another one. I think the second one did on purpose, though =\ The past few days have unearthed two perverts. Two of the guy residents are starting to act that way towards the nurses, when they weren't before. I got a bit scared, as I almost had to give the one a bath right before he was "discovered". o.- I love going to work in the fact that I try my hardest to keep my personal home life and work seperate. Doing that, when I go to work, I can seperate a huge part of myself from my problems, put them aside, and throw myself into my work. It is a temporary escape, yes, but it works. The only problem is my teacher, who is concerned about my falling, and not eating at work, and I guess I must run around with some kind of look on my face, or I have some kind of aura around me that says something to her. I must find it and turn it off, lol. I know she means well, but I can't have my job life and my home life mix. No no no no....

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Thursday, March 25, 2004

Does anyone remember the time of Pound Puppies and Pound Kitties?

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Are you right handed or left handed? Or are you amidextriouse?

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Today, after I helped give a shower to a resident, I stayed behind to clean out the showerchair, showerfloor and stuff (All that stuff gets sterilized after a resident uses it, so another one can later.) It isn't hard, I just spray pyrex stuff on everything, turn the shower on, grab the showerhose head, and rinse. My vision became kinda swimmy while I was doing this, and I kinda lost my balance. I fell on the wet floor, landing on my bum. Somehow, the showerhose head attacked me on the way down, soaking my pants and my shoes throughly. If I had only known it had it in for me.... I was given an extra pair of socks, while I tried desparatly to dry my pants and my shoes. I had to wear plastic wrap over my socks while my shoes were wet (I wore my shoes, even though they almost leaked water everytime I walked, but I wore plastic wrap over my socks. Make sense?). My ankle somehow hurts from all this, I really don't know how. I had to file an accident report, none the less, and that was a bit of a hassle. 0.o *Is really really embarrased* I went online for 5 minutes this morning (5:45 *cough*) and got to talk to Mia Mia :D (I wanted to make sure she was ok, even though she is sick =(. It made me happy to talk to her, even thought it really was only 5 minutes....) Ken was online, but he was gaming, and wasn't all that responsive. That, my friends, is a different story altogether. I think if he is going to be gaming, he shouldn't be on AIM, silly boy <_< Today, I think, is Sara's birthday. If it isn't then she got a very early Happy Birthday from me <_< *checks* Well, by golly, it is! And now I don't feel so silly anymore! Go, everyone, cause her O to be overwhelmed in your attempts to wish her a happy birthday. Go on, don't be lazy, I even gave you the link for it ^_~

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Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Stupid raging hormones >:O

Bleh. It is after work, and I have to go to the gym. I found out at the doctors office that I lost 6 pounds, and I like to think it was from three weeks of hard work at the gym, and not my stressing habits/symptoms. I just got the last two books of Chobits, and the first book of Fruits Basket. Non of that makes me happy right now, I feel stressed, bleh-y, and....anxiouse. Very anxiouse. I really dont know why, but I feel...something. Maybe it is unrest, dissatisfaction. I dont know, I just know it's making me angry, when I can't even pinpoint or express how I feel. I can't even tell myself, the feeling is so vauge. It is dark and rainy outside, lightning and stuff. I like that kind of weather, but I have yet to drive in it =\ Today at work, I found a pack of gum, with the brand "Testamints" printed on the label. On each stick was some phrase picked out of the Bible...I dunno, I just found it kinda odd. I mean, I would think the same, if it was in reference to my own religion, so, yeah. That kind of stuff is just weird. <_<

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Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Yesterday at work, my pants caught on something sharp and pokey, and guess what happend? My pants got ripped, in the bum area. I knew for a fact I was not going to run around a place with other people, with my purple underwear for all to see, and I was afraid of getting in trouble, for all I had in my car was a pair of jeans. I wrapped my coat around my waist, and walked outside, to the freezing cold outside, got my jeans, and changed into them (I did that inside, of course -_-) I figure eh, so what if I get in trouble, it's better than having everyone see my bum. <_< (I didn't get in trouble, by the way. So all is good ^_^) Meh, I better go to work, before I am late for that. *Hands out whistle pops* Go, annoy everyone with the whistling of your whistle pops, before they get sugary soggy from your spit and don't whistle well!

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