Wednesday, December 3, 2003

sigh....the nightmares.... what do you guys do when your nightmares reflect what happend(s)in real life? I mean, you have nightmares about really bad stuff that happend before, and when you dream them, you wake up scared, shaken, paraniod, exposed....what do you do? *shivers* its always cold at my house.... heh. i need to learn to stop my whining....i complain way too much :P

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....the only thing i though about that...site was that was a touch disturbing

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Monday, December 1, 2003

Hmm....today i baked bread. It was pretty nice, 'cept i accidently made too much dough...lol, i had a bit of a mess. But its all good ^_^; >_< today is the first day of (legal) hunting season....i dont like it because 1: animals that are shot wrongly wander around in the woods in pain, untill they finally die 2: there are all these weird and strange people (relatives i dont know and trespassers alike) are wandering in the woods around my house....o.o

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day three without hot water (you never know how much you use something untill it isnt there >_< ) I spent all day yesterday cleaning with bleach. (i knew i over did it when hours after done with it, my eyes still stung, my throat still burned, and my stomache hurt from the fumes @_@ ) i shall update later on, as i am being rushed.... i leave you with another demotivator ^_^ shrek is a hilariouse movie....

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Friday, November 28, 2003

First off.....to all the people I talked to last night, I am sorry. See, this girl im'ed me, and turns out she is a girl from my little brother's class (and a friend's little sister). Well, she has a huge crush on my little brother (i never thought that would happen....) and she wanted to tell him (and ask him out) Sooo I offered to let her talk to him (I didnt think it would take long at all...) He turned her down (in my religion, if you're going to "date" it is with marriage in mind...and he is a seventh grade boy) She ran to her room crying, and her sister came on and wanted to talk to my little brother. -.- I mean, I wouldnt have minded that situation at all, except that after he was finally done, and I finally came back online, my mom came and started to read my convo's. >_< I didnt want to see how she would react to "billy bob" and his nefariouse ways.... And, you know, my conversations are private, even if they are about nothing. GRRRR....it makes me so mad when my mom hangs over my shoulder, reading my convos, asking who I am talking to. "Do you know them from school? No? Where did you meet them? The internet? What do you know about them?" Geez, like i cant make my own judgments about people.... Or maybe she thinks i am confrencing with my drug ring? >_< Last night I was finally able to talk to people i havent talked to in a loong time (my sarah-ness, gerry-ness, mitch, toasty...) Well, its like if you're in prison. The guard tells you you can (finally!!) talk to your friends. You havent talked in a loong time. After starting the convo, it gets heavily supervised, then you're forced to cut off abruptly. Greatness, no? Now i am reduced to sneaking online at 5:30 in the morning....because my brother put his very own password on the computer. No one but himself can log in, let alone use the internet (did i mention that he put one for the screensaver too?). Somehow, he knows how to get around it if anyone else puts one on >_<. I think he is a controle freak...... meh I dont like complaining, but these things are really making me ticked off.... on a lighter note, i leave you with a demotivator....

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Wednesday, November 26, 2003

I love my midi music...it's beautiful ^_^

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If someone talks about a personal problem they have on their otaku. Say, something of the nature of anorexia. Would you think they were flaunting what they were going through? Like they were vying for attention by doing that; proud they are going through something that is making them "strong"? Or what about talking about something like depression? Suicide? Bulimia? Well, i think you know what i mean....

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Monday, November 24, 2003

*EDIT* heehee, i forgot to add that the following is a converstaion between Lisa and Homer from the simpsons =P *walkes to grill* "ugh. what on here wasn't brutally slaughtered?" *pokes at something on grill* "umm...i think the veal died of loneliness..." ____________________________________________ last night, I was taking something out of the oven....when the towel caught fire, burning my hand >_; (ouch!) It's not that bad; it just hurts all is good ^_~

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My brother has monopoly on the computer. Honestly. He was online for about 8, 9 hours yesterday..... >_< *sigh* There isnt much i can do about that.... Anyways. I had this really...weird dream. There was me, Sarah, Gerry, Toasty, Tori, Mitch, Heath and David hanging out in some dark-ish alley that had lots of crates. We were just sitting around, talking, hanging out. I remembered I forgot to pick up my little sister. So, I said I was going to be back, and I went to go get her. As I was walking down the steet, Tony ran up to me and asked me where Sarah was. I told him she was at the hangout...he quickly said thanks, and hurried there. I went into my sister's school (it was HUGE. Everything was a dark color, and I think it was some sort of private school, or a boarding house school, 'cause it was built like a huge house) I was inside, looking for her. I found her on the stairs, talking to her group of friends. One of her friends was talking to her about something, and she joined me in the conversation. sSe was talking about...something, but whatever it was, I was getting this funny feeling from it. All of a sudden, I got this sinking feeling. It was a feeling there was something honestly truly evil, evil with no conscience....I felt there was something wrong in my backpack. I looked in, and there was a paper. I took out the paper and looked at it. There was a neon pink sticker that said "NO" and neon green sticker that said "YES" (both were on the bottom of the paper.) two boxes appeared at the top. the first one said "accept?" the other one said "reject?" i got honest to goodness scared when the paper started to flicker, like it was glitched or something. when the little kids saw the letter i had, they got very scared and started to clear out fast. I hugged my sister hard, and told her to leave, to run home, and dont stop for anything. With a scared look, she looked at me and said "Aleia, I love you." Then she left. The whole place seemed big and empty. I heard this loud constant screaming...it sounded like they were my screams. It was a cat that was screaming. I felt prickles on the back of my neck, like i was being watched by something surrounding me, and i couldnt see it.. I felt so vulnerable, so unprotected. I was standing on the landing, when the stairs started to fall off....the landing stayed up. The cat stayed with me. For some reason, it was a bit confusing for me...but it didnt help the cat was still screaming, so it was hard to concentrate. It was important for me to get it right, because if i put it wrong, i would be accepting the dark evil presence i felt around me......if i accepted to that, it would devour my soul.... The cat wouldnt stop running around me, and screaming.... so i picked it up, and held it under my arm (to keep it still). it buried its head in my shirt, so the screaming was muffled. I put the stickers where i wanted them. the paper glitched a few times, then dissapeared.... I looked at the cat under my arm, and it was limp. I got so very scared.... then i woke up. When i woke up, it felt like i was at the bottom of a lake, and i was rushing up to awakeness very, very fast. *shivers*

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ﻪﻳﻟﺍ hmm..i wonder if this shows up... if it does, thats how i spell my first name in arabic ^_^ (yay for character maps)

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